It took me a while to figure out what I didn't like about this story. It's not that the pacing is slow (that can be a good thing anyway), it's that the pacing is too even.
Almost every chapter so far feels like buildup, without any explicit climaxes (in both sense of the word). Whenever you describe something that would fulfill that role, you have a habit of skimming over it (the end of this chapter is a good example). Instead of an intentional lead-in I feel I'm just getting a bunch of kinky content that was thrown together haphazardly. Instead of building up a proper scene, you just sort of keep going and going.
I saw the exact same problem in Competent Villains; Chrysalis—it just sort of puttered along without enough happening, and that's one of the main reasons why I stopped reading it.
I'm not saying buildup is bad, naturally; the best faps have a good amount of buildup and word foreplay. Your problem is that you don't cap that buildup with anything. Instead of being led to the end, your stories just sort of peter off and start another foreplay phase.
There's enough kinky content to fap to anyway—I've fapped to this story a fair number times—but it feels like an inevitable occurrence, not like a deliberate plan. I just keep going, and if I happen to finish then it never feels like the story planned it. Unlike CVC, which ostensibly was trying to put effort into its plot and didn't mind that impeding the clop, this story clearly has an excuse plot from the get-go.
There's also some typos ("lots" doesn't have an apostrophe) and bland description scattered about, but ultimately those are dwarfed by the pacing issues.
TL;DR: Exclusively foreplay and no money shots—doesn't work as well as it could. 6/10
It took me a while to figure out what I didn't like about this story. It's not that the pacing is slow (that can be a good thing anyway), it's that the pacing is too even.
Almost every chapter so far feels like buildup, without any explicit climaxes (in both sense of the word). Whenever you describe something that would fulfill that role, you have a habit of skimming over it (the end of this chapter is a good example). Instead of an intentional lead-in I feel I'm just getting a bunch of kinky content that was thrown together haphazardly. Instead of building up a proper scene, you just sort of keep going and going.
I saw the exact same problem in Competent Villains; Chrysalis—it just sort of puttered along without enough happening, and that's one of the main reasons why I stopped reading it.
I'm not saying buildup is bad, naturally; the best faps have a good amount of buildup and word foreplay. Your problem is that you don't cap that buildup with anything. Instead of being led to the end, your stories just sort of peter off and start another foreplay phase.
There's enough kinky content to fap to anyway—I've fapped to this story a fair number times—but it feels like an inevitable occurrence, not like a deliberate plan. I just keep going, and if I happen to finish then it never feels like the story planned it. Unlike CVC, which ostensibly was trying to put effort into its plot and didn't mind that impeding the clop, this story clearly has an excuse plot from the get-go.
There's also some typos ("lots" doesn't have an apostrophe) and bland description scattered about, but ultimately those are dwarfed by the pacing issues.
TL;DR: Exclusively foreplay and no money shots—doesn't work as well as it could. 6/10