The Rejected 6

by ArtichokeLust

Flim and Flam Flimflammed?

Lightning Dust just finished filing all change of address forms and had just finished a 5-minute interview that ended in her acceptance back into the weather team. The hiring ponies seemed particularly peeved that most of the team had flown home after Lightning scolded them, but after some talk, they agreed that letting Motion take over the team lead position would be punishment enough. Lightning was surprised to hear some of the things that stallion did in leadership positions. Hopefully not too many weather ponies would quit... then again, if they did, somepony else would get a high-paying job. Basically, everypony just managed to get themselves in a pickle instead Lightning Dust.

Adding to the good news, lightning managed to find a cheaper place in a nicer part of town. Granted, it was a much smaller place, but she really didn't need the space.

She'd have to remember to thank Discord some time, because without him, she probably would have looked pretty unprofessional at that interview. But for now, it was packing time.

---

Discord was enjoying a morning stroll down Canterlot. It was nice that he didn't need to sleep (regularly at least), he could observe the ponies around him for as long as he wanted and act accordingly. Morning ponies were his favorite type of ponies; their jimmies were so easy to rustle.

He reminisced a bit about what happened after he hammered lightning dust back home. First, mass panic, as expected. Then eventually, Luna had to come and see what was happening...

Luna adopted a wide stance when entering the center of the panic storm. Looking up, she saw Discord holding his arms out, basking in the chaos. Once she noticed it was just him, she stood up, annoyed.

"IT HAS BEEN THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS, DISCORD!" Luna yelled in the traditional Canterlot voice, almost without noticing.

"HOW HARD IS IT FOR THOU TO KEEP THY GRUBBY PAWS OFF OUR CITIZENS FOR ONE MEASLY WEEK, SO THAT WE MAY REST!?" Luna yelled. Taking a closer look, Discord noticed she had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.

"I- uh-" Discord started.

"PERHAPS WE SHOULD TURN THY BODY BACK TO STONE IF THOU PLANS TO ACT AS HE DID A THOUSAND YEARS AGO!" Luna threatened, though she probably wouldn't be able to pull that off without the elements, and Fluttershy would never agree to it... But she was angry.

"Oh, now don't be like that-" Discord pleaded, this outburst was starting to worry him... Could she do that? Could she just turn him back into stone during a rage fit?

"WE WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THOU WOULD HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING SO SIMPLE OVER SUCH A LONG TIME! APPARENTLY THOU HAS A LEARNING DISORDER!" Yup, Luna was definitely angry.

"Hey now..-" Discord started, but somepony from the surrounding curious crowd interrupted him.

"HEY, That's an insult to ponies with learning disabilities! Take that back!" A mare shouted.

"Oh!" Luna stopped herself, "We are sorry, we didn't mean to insult anything other than this thing." She pointed at Discord.

"Oh, haha-" Discord folded his arms.

"Apology accepted." The mare shouted back.

"Anyway, nothing to see, carry on." Luna returned to her -if a bit sheepish- quiet voice.

"Wait-a-minute," Discord interrupted, "I didn't know you required sleep, especially since you are the princess of the night." He was genuinely curious about this. One of the many reasons for sleep was improving learning, and it would be a waste to throw that out.

Luna stopped, she hadn't readied herself for questions, just dispelling rage, "We... sometimes sleep during the day... Other times... it is necessary to be sleeping to enter other ponies dreams..."

"So you just sleep whenever it's convenient," Discord surmised, then nodded in approval. "I like that."

Luna smiled for a split second before catching herself. Discord saw the quick shock Luna had about being happy that he liked something about her, and he saw as she quickly covered it up with anger. Oh, she was flustered! Up next would be the scolding, and he would have to try and react at least somewhat normally, he still wasn't sure if she could make good on that petrifying threat from a while ago.

"WE DO NOT CARE FOR THY PETTY COMPLIMENTS, AND WE SHALL NOT LET THEE OFF EASILY NO MATTER WHAT AMOUNT OF SUCKING UP THOU PARTAKES IN!" Said the butthurt Luna.

"Oh come on now, it was just a compliment!" Discord pleaded, "I was actually trying to make somepony happy for once, you shouldn't take things so negatively."

"THOU..." Luna stopped and calmed down a bit, "hast succeeded." She smiled.

"STILL, 10 MINUTES DUNGEON!" She yelled with glee and pumped a hoof.

"Oh, come on! That's just an abuse of power" Discord pouted.

"We are glad thou has learnt some new terms." Luna teleported back to the castle for some sleep. She would punish Discord later, once she was able to keep an eye on him.

Discord chuckled a bit. Now that he thought about it, his clone would probably get punished instead of him. Oh, avoiding justice was such a wonderful thing!

After walking a little further, his thoughts wandered back to his project of gathering unstable ponies together. He searched for any more ponies he could add to the mix. He quickly felt two silver-tongues. That sweet-sour taste always indicated a pony that lived on the edge, and silver-tongues, be them con-artists or just sales-ponies, were almost constantly on the edge.

He listened in, teleporting closer so that he could hear their conversation and better convince them to meet their new friends.

A sad, mustachioed pony galloped in front of and held his non-mustachioed brother with his front hooves and started to speak.

"Oh Flim, dear Flim, what ever shall we do?
We've seen so many ponies, who haven't got a clue
-of what benefits we have to offer,
they reject us right on sight, they must be off their rockers!

Flim smirked knowingly.

"Oh Flam you must concede, we have some history,
When we try to help ponies, they are left in misery!

At this, Flam let go of his brother and started to sulk.

"It's not our fault they can't run a business,
They'd rather stay the same out of laziness!
The contracts we gave them were quite fair,
and if they followed there'd be much more to share!

Flim held out a hoof, ending his brother's rant.

"Oh dear brother if I may interrupt,
I have to point out a flaw in your thought;

He then brought said hoof to his chin and tilted his head.

"When you expect them to follow your newly developed algorithm and flow,
Why do you always find everypony so slow?

Flam stood attentive.

"Why? Dear brother, please tell me, why?
I'd like nothing more than to get this quandary off my mind!

Flim gave that knowing smirk and turned back his head just a little before answering.

"You see, while your steps may seem clear and concise,
the transition from old isn't so nice;
at best they think of factory work,
and at worst they think we're fast talking jerks!

Flim stamped his hooves, accentuating his point.

Flam started to speak up, but Flim started back up before he could say anything, albeit with a bit calmer voice.

"Perhaps we should find some slower transitions,
not 180 flips from what was tradition.

Finally, Flam was able to get a word in.

"But that would take ages to help just one company out,
the slowness of that, it makes me want to shout!

He pulled at his mane a bit.

Flim flung his front hoof around his brother, comforting him a bit.

"And that's where you're wrong, you've made an assumption.
That you think we'll sell our work to just one corp. is something!

Flim moved in front of his brother and told him his plan, waving a hoof.

"We start our own work selling face creams to sweet dreams,
all made from apples, only the most delicious and green.
Then we lease our new tools,

Flim grinned, "and watch our competitors drool."

Flam now moved and flung his front hoof on Flim's shoulder, but with noticeably less excitement.

"While that's all very nice, please think of the price,
And for a place where everypony still gives us shifty eyes!

Flam gestured to the city around him, the surrounding ponies were indeed giving them strange looks.

Suddenly, Discord.

"Whoa!" Flim jumped back.
"WHA-HEY!" Flam almost did a backflip.

Discord spoke up, pacing as he did so.

"The answer is simple; you go somewhere new.
Advertisements only ripple to the edge of your brew.
go somewhere new, start a new train of thought,
talk like you do, and their hearts will be bought.

"We've figured as much" Flam answered, "But what place can we trust?"

"Have you tried Fillydelphia?" Discord asked.

"Not in millennia." Flim excitedly exaggerated. Flam was still doubtful.

Discord smirked. Yes!

"Then go in six days and have your way,
give a great ad, but make it a play,
don't say what you're selling, just do it for fun,
with city pride swelling, you'll soon be number one.

"Flim" said Flam.
"Yes Flam?" replied Flim.
"I get the feeling we're being Flimflammed." Flam answered.

Having heard this, Discord gave a slightly annoyed reply.

"I may have my reasons, I'm not kind or insane,
but you mustn't be skittish, this is not a zero-sum game.

Discord poofed off to the side and leaned down.

"Be there six days from now, bring with you some props,
there's only one theater, I hope you reach the top.

And with that, he was gone.

After that strange interruption, Flim and flam gave consideration to the thought. It quickly turned to long deliberation. In the end, whether or not they trusted the god of chaos, his offer seemed to be the only viable option.

Comments

[eternal nothingness]

oh boy lightning dust, flim and flam, trixie, and discord all in one place! were doomed!....or this will be awesome can't wait to see

[Pete100]

"IT HAS BEEN THREE DAYS! THREE DAYS, DISCORD!" Luna yelled in the traditional Canterlot voice, almost without noticing.

"HOW HARD IS IT FOR THOU TO KEEP THY GRUBBY PAWS OFF OUR CITIZENS FOR ONE MEASLY WEEK, SO THAT WE MAY REST!?" Luna yelled. Taking a closer look, Discord noticed she had bags under her eyes from lack of sleep.

Hey, that’s a record.

"Wait-a-minute," Discord interrupted, "I didn't know you required sleep, especially since you are the princess of the night." He was genuinely curious about this. One of the many reasons for sleep was improving learning, and it would be a waste to throw that out.

It is?

"WE DO NOT CARE FOR THY PETTY COMPLIMENTS, AND WE SHALL NOT LET THEE OFF EASILY NO MATTER WHAT AMOUNT OF SUCKING UP THOU PARTAKES IN!" Said the butthurt Luna.

How much screaming would it take for her to bust someone’s eardrums? Because, there’s no way no one hasn’t gone deaf.

"STILL, 10 MINUTES DUNGEON!" She yelled with glee and pumped a hoof.

Well, at least we now know who’s the most violent out of the princesses.