The Rejected 6

by ArtichokeLust

Discord

Ch1:

Discord was sitting next to Celestia in her tidy little wooden carriage. They were both flying through the dusk to some town where some ponies were dying or something, and Celestia would try to use Discord as some sort of Deus-Ex device.

He never seemed to be able to explain to her the simple fact that he fed on order. If he created order instead of chaos, he would starve to death. In fact, if he didn't do either for long enough, he would starve to death anyway. The only reason he had survived a thousand years as a statue was because he was a statue.

"So you understand what you're supposed to do, right?" Celestia asked, staring as intensely as she could at Discord without changing her expression.

"Huh?" Discord pretended to not have heard her. He was watching any unfortunate pegasi he passed try to move or destroy his now living clouds.

"Why are you-" Unfortunately, Celestia finally noticed what he was doing, "Discord, stop that at once!" She said, annoyed.

After watching Discord quickly return the clouds to normal, Celestia put a hoof to her forehead and sighed, feeling a migraine coming.

"This is the fifth time I've tried to explain your job to you," She scolded. " I'm sorry, but from now on you will have to act only as I say."

"What was that?" Discord asked, distracted. Of course, he had heard everything she said, all five repetitions and the final speech. He was supposed to tear apart a mafia with his usual antics, which did imply some nice chaos, but it would be bad for him in the long run. When he was ruling, he encouraged these sorts of things! Well, as long as they didn't get too out of hand or too powerful... Anyway, since disrupting the ponies around him was so delicious, he couldn't help but attempt it all the time!

Celestia started to clench her teeth out of annoyance, only to find out why Discord had seemed so distracted.

He was playing dress up with her.

Celestia sat in her carriage wearing a pink bikini, a top hat, a pipe, and a monocle. Adding to her annoyance, they were quickly nearing their intended city of Fillydelphia, and there wouldn't be enough time to take any of the apparel off.

"Many welcomes princess..." the green unicorn looked up, "Celestia?"

Celestia's carriage guards looked back in curiosity.

Princess Celestia quickly shook off the top hat, monocle, and pipe from of her face. She then tore at her bikini with her mouth and quickly ripped it off.

But it was too late. Her guard ponies and Discord were all laughing uncontrollably. Even the welcome pony was finding it hard not to laugh. Celestia simply acted as if nothing had happened and tried to talk about work, causing everypony and Discord to laugh even harder.

They were completely dissonant against their surroundings.

With the darkened and graffitied cityscape, the hobo-fires, and the occasional screams, Discord started to feel at home once again...

But he had to focus on work... The welcome pony was a double agent. He had worked for months gaining the trust of the local mafia, giving them details of only unimportant aspects of Fillydelphia, Canterlot, the Princesses, and other things they requested. All the while he had to make sure he had a back-story explaining how he had found every single piece of data. The villains he was trying to stop were smart! Even the slightest slip-up would have him removed from the group at best, and killed at worst.

But despite the fact that Discord was actually slightly interested in one of his jobs for once, all of that suddenly started to seem a bit less important...

He felt an intense source of chaos within the city. He always enjoyed chaos that he didn't have to create, but he learned over the years that certain intensities just burned themselves out and tasted more and more bitter as time went on. He also found out that helping these certain ponies led to so much more chaos in the long run. And this one seemed very promising. It had an intensity that he swore couldn't come from just one pony - despite his senses - and yet it was still only just a little bitter. He swore he could almost hear the chaotic inner struggle of that pony...

He wanted to help a pony before they burnt theirself out, but he was also looking forward to annihilating a mafia...

...How could he be in two places at once? He could duplicate himself visually, but those were images that he could only maintain at a relatively short distance, and that was assuming he had his fair share of chaos already.

He thought for a while, for once actually distracted from the scene around him, and rested his chin on a paw. He walked along with the other ponies, not paying any attention to his surroundings. He was sure doubling himself was possible. He didn't know why he was sure, but he was more sure of that than almost anything else!

And after a while, he remembered a news article he read to catch up on recent happenings after being freed.

The article's image was of several Pinkie Pie's inspecting different parts of a house. (Many of them stared directly into the camera.) It was unnerving, even for him.

According to that article, Pinkie Pie had somehow managed to clone herself and cause total chaos throughout Ponyville! (He couldn't help but feel so proud of her after reading that!)

With that, it was decided. He would have to go to Ponyville and ask Pinkie Pie for help.

He snapped his attention back to the scene around him. They were in a room now, a very cheap apartment room with no furniture and stains on the walls. It was a room where you definitely wouldn't expect to find a princess. Which was good, because this meeting was a secret.

"And then they all went to-" the welcome pony continued.

"I'm sorry," Discord interrupted, "May I take a bathroom break?"

All the ponies stared at him in slight annoyance. Well, all except Celestia.

"Of course," She nodded patiently.

Discord popped out of existence and reappeared in front of Sugarcube corner.

*knock*
*knock*
*knock*

Discord waited at the door for a while. He checked his wrist, producing a watch that only stared back at him, disapproving of his desire to know the time. Annoyed, he turned it into molten lava and rubbed it all over his arm. The warmth was calming, and suddenly, waiting didn't seem so bad-

"Why hello the-" Mrs. Cup Cake opened the door and looked up at Discord. He towered above her and looked down at her with his glowing, soulless, yellow-red eyes. His entire body clashed with itself, and his arm was slowly being eaten away by molten lava, a fact that he seemed to take pleasure in. Worst of all, he grinned at her. He grinned with those sharp, deadly teeth.

"-eeEEEAAAAAAUUUGH!" She screamed. Discord puckered; a sour taste was suddenly in his mouth. He was thankful he remembered to cast a sound barrier spell; it would be annoying if the whole town noticed him.

"Honey," Mr. Carrot Cake spoke up. "That's no way to invite-" He stopped, noticing who this 'guest' was and seeing his wife have her soul sucked out by a horror that defied all logic and bathed the world in insanity.

"aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Carrot cake ran back and forth throughout the building. It was a miracle neither of the babies woke up.

Discord puckered a bit more.

Mrs. Cake passed out from fear. Carrot Cake ran over to her, believing that his wife was now dead. He silently cursed himself for not being stronger. But no, he shouldn't curse himself! He should curse the one who had brought him this tragedy so suddenly and so unfairly!

"You..." He glared up at the beast, "YOU MONSTER!" He yelled.

"She's fine," Discord deadpanned, interrupting the chaos. He always loved when ponies would feed him after seeing him for the first time in their life, it was such a kind introduction. But he had serious business to do.

"...What?" Mr. Cake breathed, confused.

"look," Discord pointed, "Her chest is rising and falling, that means she's breathing. She's simply passed out."

"Oh..." Carrot Cake smiled, then passed out on top of his wife.

...Now what? Discord thought to himself, I can't enter the house uninvited to search for Pinkie Pie. That would be rude!

Luckily, Pinkie Pie trotted down the stairs only a few moments after Carrot Cake passed out... She trotted drunkenly from lack of sleep.

*YAWN* Pinkie held a hoof over her mouth, "Keep it down, you party ponies," she giggled drunkenly, " some mares need to sleep y'know."

She looked down and noticed Mr. and Mrs. Cake were both already asleep.

"Oh," She smiled lazily and laughed, still drunkenly walking down the stairs even though she no longer had a purpose to do so, "I guess you do know..."

"Ah, Pinkie Pie!" Discord smiled and waved a paw. This time he didn't appear quite as terrifying.

"Heya Discord..." Pinkie waved lazily and smiled back. Then she stopped, something was weird...

Wait-a-minute, she finally woke up, this is Discord! Why is he here!?

She noticed Mr. and Mrs. Cake unconscious at Discord's feet. Thankfully they both still seemed to be alive.

She looked back up at Discord. He seemed to be smiling; he was barring his teeth and waving, unbelievably happy for some reason as he looked at her. Despite her mind warning her not to, she gathered the full scene into her head.

Her beloved bosses were passed out at the feet of a monster with horrified looks and tear streaks on their faces. She could only imagine the horrors Discord had made them endure until they finally broke, granting him the pleasure he sought. And he achieved that pleasure almost effortlessly, without even damaging their bodies, let alone the building! Just their minds...

Behind them was a still open door. Apparently nopony had heard. Or... nopony had cared...

But that's just silly. Pinkie tried to reassure herself. There were no such things as scary monsters like that. They were all made up to scare ponies for fun and giggles. But then again, she knew of several stories that had recently come true, stories she was still afraid of, and not fun afraid. Several of those stories revolved around the insanity inducing monster named...

"Discord..." Pinkie breathed, narrowed her pupils, and then inhaled, readying herself for the loudest scream of her life.

Discord noticed this and effortlessly removed her mouth. He did cast a noise suppressing spell, but he still liked his ears, and if he lost concentration the spell would fall apart.

Pinkie quickly realized she was completely helpless and completely alone. She whimpered and almost cried out of fear.

"...hmmph..." Discord, slightly annoyed and feeling like he was almost out of time, rested his head against his claws. Sometimes greetings lasted a bit too long and went a bit too sour.

He noticed Pinkie slowly backing away with her huge watery eyes. He teleported Mr. and Mrs. Cake onto a nearby couch and teleported the terrified Pinkie Pie a few feet in front of him. He didn't have time to calm her down, he needed to do his business, and quick.

Discord closed the door behind him, shattering the last hope for the terrified Pinkie Pie.

That was it, she was going to break. She felt herself slipping, her mind went to places she couldn't, and didn't want to fathom. She saw the birth and death of a thousand worlds and suddenly didn't care.

Backed into a corner, her eyes went dull and her hair fell flat. Her body and mind readied themselves for one purpose: The death of the one who had threatened-

"I'm going to put your mouth back" He said, interrupting her thoughts and quite possibly saving his own life, "If you scream, I'll remove your legs, and you'll be known as Pinkie Pillow from here on out."

Pinkie snapped out of the trance, wondering what just happened. Her hair slowly reinflated.

Her eyes went wide as the threat came into her mind, she was horrified at the thought. She would have gasped if she still had a mouth.

"Do you promise not to scream?" Discord asked.

Pinkie sat there for a second, not knowing what to do.

"Ahem!" Discord cleared his throat impatiently, snapping her out of her confusion.

Reluctantly, she nodded, seeing a way out. She was horrified about what she might be agreeing to not scream about, but this seemed to be the best option.

Discord snapped his fingers, restoring Pinkie's mouth.

She bared her teeth, holding back her screams and whimpers. She did make a promise after all.

"W-w- What do you want?" She squeaked, sitting back, shaking uncontrollably, and terrified for her life.

"How did you duplicate yourself?" Discord asked quickly, slightly annoyed.

"...What?" She squeaked even more quietly this time. Her pupils were like dots. She had no idea what he was talking about. It was like batman came into her house, demolished half of her living space and killed her parents, and then asked for a bedtime story before he slapped you and did a little MJ dance. Yeah! That was a perfect analogy! Wait, who's Batman? And what's an MJ dance?

"A while back, Ponyville was overrun by tens of Pinkie Pies," Discord explained quickly. "Twilight had to make a test-"

Pinkie realized what he was talking about and spoke quickly, glad for a way out.

"Where the brambles are thickest
There you will find
A pond beyond the most twisted of vines!

"Gathering your very own reflection in sight,
You may sit there, and may so calmly recite,
An old song from the mages, lost to the night:

""And into her own reflection she stared,
Yearning for one whose reflection she shared,
And solemnly sweared not to be scared,
At the prospect of being doubly mared!""

She recited the old tale as quickly as possible without thinking.

"Oh!" Discord straightened up, surprised. Nopony had ever given him useful information in riddle form before. That was his style! Now he was even more proud of Pinkie Pie!

What an adorable little ball of chaos! He wouldn't be surprised if she was somehow related to one of his pink clouds. It certainly would explain some of her antics.

Discord teleported a few feet, ruthlessly murdering the short distance between him and Pinkie, but not before killing its entire family in front of it and forcing it to watch.

Why would he do that? Pinkie asked herself, That's just terrible...

He slowly bent down and picked up the shivering ball of fur. Oh, the poor thing! He must have scared it half to death!

"Thank you so much!" He said with real happiness as he hugged and nuzzled the now sobbing ball of fur tightly. He then set her back on the ground, patted her head, and popped out of existence...

Pinkie Pie swayed back and forth, now incredibly dizzy and confused. She let out a strange, drunken laugh.

Suddenly she realized she wasn't breathing normally, and she also realized she felt unbelievably sick. Involuntarily, Pinkie Pie threw up, swayed a bit more, and passed out.

Discord flew over the forest. With his vision, it was easy to tell where the brambles were thickest. He found the entrance to the pond after only an instant of searching. It had just been seconds between when he was asking Pinkie for directions and when he was standing at the mouth of the pond.

He wasted no time. He recited the poem, modifying it a bit since he wasn't a mare and adding a few gestures.

"And into his own reflection he stared,
yearning for one whose reflection he shared,
and solemnly swore not to be frightened,
at the process of being doubly enlightened!”

Discord reached his paw into the mirror pond and pulled out one not unlike his own. Okay... maybe it was a little unlike his own...

“Oh dear...” He said, “I may have misworded it...”

“Hrshgrfgrhgnbph!” His horribly disfigured replica coughed back. It was more of an Eldritch abomination than a replica of Discord, “AAAAAANNNNGH!”

Discord had to cover his ears to quiet the screaming.

“Shut up!” He finally screamed back and grabbed the disfigured draconequus's head, “And listen, if you value your life!” He didn't usually make death threats, but this thing was already giving him a headache.

Discord conjured up a picture of Celestia and walked over to it, “You are to cause as much chaos as possible without disobeying her orders, or hurting anypony.”

“...kaos...” The thing calmed down a bit. Though it was hard to tell if it was actually calm. Discord mostly just went by the fact that it wasn't screaming.

“Here are the rules she already made that you need to follow,” A list popped out of the air and floated into the disfigured beast's paw... if you could call it that. It looked more like the rotting root of a tree.

“...And I think that's it-” Discord paused, “Wait, one more thing,” He conjured a picture of Fluttershy out of thin air.

“If you mess with her or her friends, I will destroy you.” He narrowed his eyes, then quickly went back to his usual cheery self.

“That's everything, tootaloo!” He waved his paw and disappeared.

Discord came back from his bathroom break horribly disfigured. He looked over to Celestia and screeched a bunch of nonsense at her.

“Praise Star Swirl!" She gasped, concerned for the terrible creature for the first time in her life, "What happened to you!?”

Discord had one last thing to check on before he went. And with his double, he didn't have to hurry.

He teleported back inside sugarcube corner. The Cakes were fast asleep on their couch, but Pinkie Pie was shivering in a nightmare next to her own barf.

Discord cringed and took a second to think of things from her perspective. He looked like he almost murdered her bosses and then interrogated her for a powerful secret, didn't he...

"Well..." He sighed. This was no way to treat a likely protégé.

He did the best he could. He cleaned up the barf with a wave of his paw, produced a pillow and blanket for Pinkie with a snap of his claws, placed her gently inside the blanket, and rested her head on the pillow with a few more waves of his paw. He could have placed her in her own bed, but he feared she would wake up confused and scared again.

Pinkie Pie slowly stopped shivering and her breathing returned to normal.

Discord was delighted to see Pinkie calm down. Fear and sadness weren't his favorite causes of chaos, they tasted sour. And hopelessness was just bitter. Frustration was nice and salty though, and both confusion and misunderstanding were sweet.

Pinkie's fear had left a sour and bitter aftertaste in his mouth, it was the worst combination ever.

He thought of one last thing before he left: What would Fluttershy do...

A note! He thought, brightening. Writing an apology note was probably the best thing he could do in this situation!

He produced scroll, quill, and ink and started to write.

"Dear Pinkie Pie,

Sorry for scaring you like I did, it was not my intention to do so. (No matter how adorable you may have looked when you were scared.) I simply needed to duplicate myself so I could both fulfill my duties with Celestia and help a pony in need.

Thank you.

Many apologies,
Discord."

The message was missing something... But what could it be missing? He said all the words he needed, so it couldn't be that...

Shrugging, Discord added a P.S. and doodled a picture of a giddy moose riding a tricycle below it. That would definitely cheer her up!

Satisfied, he rolled the scroll back up and tucked it against Pinkie Pie in her blanket. She turned and hugged the new object in her fore-hooves.

Discord teleported off. He could still feel that pony off in the distance. The chaos was as incredible as ever, and only slightly more bitter.

Next morning, Pinkie Pie woke up.

She was about to get up and feed gummy his breakfast when she noticed she wasn't in her room. Slowly the events of last night crept up on her.

She shivered, but this made her notice a scroll that was pressed up against her. She picked it up and unrolled it.

She was still angry at Discord for scaring her like that. It wasn't fun at all!

...Well, okay, maybe it was a little fun... Pinkie smirked slowly, Discord would be incredible on nightmare night...

Still though, she was mad at him...

She unrolled the scroll and started reading...

Whatever apologies he made in the letter didn't really help. She didn't like him scaring her like that, even if he had done it for a good cause.

She quickly reached the bottom of the letter and saw the picture of a giddy moose riding a tricycle...

She giggled.

No... She couldn't stay mad at him.

Comments

[Pete100]

Discord was sitting next to Celestia in her tidy little wooden carriage. They were both flying through the dusk to some town where some ponies were dying or something, and Celestia would try to use Discord as some sort of Deus-Ex device.

What’s that?

He never seemed to be able to explain to her the simple fact that he fed on order. If he created order instead of chaos, he would starve to death. In fact, if he didn't do either for long enough, he would starve to death anyway. The only reason he had survived a thousand years as a statue was because he was a statue.

Wait, how does that work?