Today was twilights 16th birthday so i had to get ready i got her 30 books and a big cake i waited for her she came down and i sayed happy birthday she looked really happy she opened all her presants and smiled we had some cake togather she started to read 1 of the books i got her. Thats when a portal opened on the wall i looked in and saw applejack ,rainbow dash,rareity,fluttershy and pinkie pie and princess celeastia rainbow dash ran up to me and said "never stell are friend again"and hit me i went flying into a window twilight ran to me crying and then celeastia said"twilight sparkle you need to come with us" twilight had to go i was sad inside and i gave her a huge and gave her the book of pictures and all the other books they all went but they forgot to close the portal. So i jumped in The End?
Oh no! someone stole the punctuation!
Wtf is this ?
Some kind of Hyper fast paced without capitalisation, grammar or plot parody of my little Dashie ?
This is...
...
...
... what?
stop hatin me ok
THIS IS MY FIRST STORY PEOPLE CUT ME SOME SLACK
you know what ill add periods and stuff ok people jeez
I know this is your first story. That doesn't mean you don't have to put any effort into it. The "im a begginer! cut me sum slak! quit hatting on me " excuses don't work here. Welcome to Fimfiction! I suggest you get an editor.
2566653 im not hatin you i just dont like getting bullyed ok
i have added periods im sorry for those hurt fully comments but i all ready get bullyed at school i dont want to be bullyed on the internet
That looks a little better. The word "I" should be capitalized.
ok
im getting alot of dislikes can anyone tell me why? i really want to know so i can change that
ps to ponies read the end of the final chapter it has a spoiler for my next story
People don't like it when chapters are less than 1000 words. People probably think you're stealing the idea of My Little Dashie. People on this site love My Little Dashie and have high expectations for people who write stories similar to it. People get angry when there are a lot of grammar errors because it makes it hard to read. It would be better if you came up with your own ideas. Would you like me to help you come up with a new story or fix up more grammar errors?
ok im going to say this when i post a comment back to some people they say stop hatin me well have you read your own comment to me! stop being mean and enjoy some people hate reading i get that its just i couldnt think of more ideas to add so if you say i failed and if i give a bad commet back just read your coment first ok then you will see why im giveing you a bad coment back ok my little twilight is a good story you should like that i made it at all thats why im mad
also ill be adding stuff like twilights first holloween so there will be more ok