Fixing ambiguity in "The Quiet One" (kill your darlings) · 11:03pm Jun 25th, 2023
Back in 2014, I posted a flash-fiction about Luna called "The Quiet One". Yamgoth wrote in the comments of Luna's "cold, silent fury", which wasn't what I'd wanted to focus on.
Read the new version first (it's under 700 words; link may change so go back to the story TOC if it's wrong), then read the spoilered text below to see how I fixed it. Then, if you would, tell me which version you like better.