"Easter Sunday" by Artist

[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]

In every creative endeavour, there are challenges. Some come from the nature of the creation, some from the nature of the creator. Either way, as the audience and as a reviewer we must only look at the end result.

This story is incredibly short but benefits from being a sequel rather than a stand-alone one-shot. It should be noted that this story’s main impetus is to demonstrate the struggles of a character suffering from a disability, namely cerebral palsy.

Nevertheless, the story establishes the central conflict rather weakly and, as a demonstration of the troubles of disability, it suffers from its inability to connect the audience to its characters. What transpires is the dialogue and actions of the characters, but the narration never holds onto those moments long enough to give those moments a voice. It is a detail of events more than a story. 

It is simply impossible for a wide audience to fully grasp at a long-term problem that they do not regularly experience. As much as cerebral palsy is a struggle rooted in reality, a story has to find ways to make it digestible to the reader. And I think this story does not go far enough to achieve that.

Furthermore, there are moments of egregious violations of grammar, namely not capitalizing proper nouns and incorrect punctuation. These indicate an unpolished work and, more importantly, disrupts the flow of the prose and interrupts the story. I would rate the story a 4/10, not just for grammar flaws, but for its incomplete narration that makes the story unable to convey its central themes. 

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I understand.

Thanks.