well, from forum overview I tend to 'piggyback' most threads..May be instead I must make my own thread, where I will post random bits...

Not sure if such idea already surfaced somewhere, but I was thinking about how early vaccines were extracted from cow's (?) blood plasma (if I remember correctly! I hope nowadays they mostly synthetic ...) - this obviously lead to this little twist at very beginning (chronologically) of Chatoyance's take on Conversion Bureau world - where conversion serum was partially made from blood of Celestia, none the less. So, what if something like this happen, but in less extreme (for modern readers) future? What if someone discovered _some_ ponies (not obviously talking, counting, or using computers - so only 'animal welfare' applies to them, according to most) can generate substance making humans ..more in-tune with our own shared ideals of humanity? Too weak (in most cases :}) for adding tail or horn to your body, but strong enough for changing your views/sensitivity forever. Will such discovery realistically made in official research? Will someone discover it accidently? What other humans will think about source of their improved humanity? Will it be mandatory for politicians ? :} (and how they might find it, if they realize it will make them less lie-able, and more concerned about beings they usually skipped in their thought process). Will humans in such scenario still want to become full ponies, especially if they discovered they will have not just magical wings, horns, and hooves - but also soul (if process actually will allowed to reach its own end), but this 'soul thing' will require completely different Universe? I think generally humans will be quite ..pragmatic, and move to better place. But details of such migrations can be ..interesting and telling.

Somewhat unrelated and even dangerously optimistic: imagine if Nietzsche actually spelled out 'empathy in most wider form' as essential and unremovable part of 'superhuman' ?!

If only human empathy and Dunbar Number could be somehow vastly increased, I think all the evils of Man would be solved.

Some of your wording I'm concerned about. "our own shared ideals of humanity," and the discussion about sharing that through a diluted pony serum. It's a slippery slope, to say one group's ideals are to supercede another's group. (Unless I misread that, and you mean ideals all humanity agrees on, but good luck finding that.)
Now, it took me a few rereads to get your point. I'd a substance was found that increased empathy, then it would (and should) be treated like medication. Consent would be the most vital of all medication rights in this context. With your description, I'm imagining this stuff to have permanent effects with a single dose. If someone were to market a drug that gave you the personal values and worldview of an ant, where the hive is everything and individuals are expendable, I would get seriously freaked out by this concept, especially if I see my friends/ acquaintances change dramatically after taking this drug. That horror is what a lot of anti TCB persons feel. Now, a pony's mindset is much different, but I tried to demonstrate the principle behind why these things may not be accepted well.
I could see this serum being used to treat psychopathy and sociopathy, as those are commonly described as a lack of empathy. However, it must be treated with great care. Drugging someone "for their own good" was the same reasoning used to try to turn Alan Turing heterosexual, among other examples.
A person's mind and personality are the only things that they can truly control. Chain a man so he cannot move a single muscle, and he can still choose: to rebel or to accept, to rage or to meditate. Violating that by changing his personality and values could be considered death of a person. It's certainly described that way in literature, the Bible and the Alcoholics Anonymous book being ones that I know off the top of my head. But the huge difference to me is that it is voluntary.
Causing politicians to be empathic is a nice idea. I'm surprised you didn't include CEO's in that list, though. Though, emphatic leaders=/= good leaders. It's an important trait, for sure. But while empathy may tell you what a problem is, it doesn't necessarily tell you the best way to fix it.
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...
Sorry. I'm not really a fan of a lot of the ideas that float around in this group. I'm not really sure why I'm subscribed, tbh. I would like to see pony stories that really weigh the differences between humans and ponies. The one or two I've read here make ponies and Equestria perfect, and why would you want to stay a big, filthy human? Starscribe's works, The Last Pony on Earth series and Friendly Fireare less misanthropic, but lean pro human. I think the closest I've seen is ASGeek's Pandemic, especially the sequel.

On another note, the rubella vaccine is cultured in human cells, using a strain isolated from an aborted fetus in the 60's. I think flu uses chicken eggs. Don't know about other vaccines though.

6865354
You might want to check out the front page of this group, and read the Three Rules of the Conversion Bureau genre. The true Conversion Bureau story genre is, by name, by definition, transformation fiction.

By, that, I mean that the focus of it, the core principle, the central and defining element of it is... transformation. Into something else. Something different. Shapeshifting. Becoming nonhuman. That's the entire crux of transformation fiction. That is the entire point of the Conversion Bureau.

And that means liking that idea. Finding it interesting. Even yearning for it.

Some groups on this site are about specific subject and interests: some groups are all about earthponies, or about airships, or about certain relationship combinations, or about sex, or about violence, or about one specific character. This is a group for people who like and desire transformation stories, and who like ponies and Equestria and want to be an Equestrian and explore what that means.

If you don't like the idea of getting to be a pony and live in Equestria, to transform into something not human, then... no, this group is not for you. This isn't for people who love being human. This isn't a group for people who think humans are the best thing that ever was or could be. This is a group for people who really aren't that happy with humans and what they are and do, and want something other, something they think is better.

That's the reason this group exists. There are other groups for other things.

If you want to be a pony, stay. If you want to be human, this really isn't the group for you at all.

6865374
Fair.
I like the idea of transforming physically into something else. The mental and emotional transformation is where my limit is. I love character growth and development, where changing circumstances lead to changes in character. Having the transformation be sudden, with little of the previous person left, scares me.
And the misanthropic tones that I felt while reading 27 ounces made me sad. It's turned me off of the genre.
Though we disagree on many things, Chatoyance, I find it significant (can't find a word describes the feeling. Connected?) that our visions of Paradise are functionally identical. I found it a funny paradox in our last conversation that we could agree and disagree so much on exactly the same points. The only real difference was the name we attached to our Diety.

I may stick around still. Maybe I'll find an author I identify with more. I do have 2 million+ words in my read it later list already, though.
Maybe I'll just pop up out of lurking when a post like this pops up. I think I present reasonable opposing arguments. I enjoy breaking up echo chambers, at least. If you'd rather me leave, I will.
May you one day find the happiness and satisfaction you seek.

6865354 (NeirdaE)

I was mostly trying to refer to "and you mean ideals all humanity agrees on, but good luck finding that" - on most basic level we know we want to be alive, not overloaded with health problems, not overburdened by work, this type of thing. Details of course differs.

A person's mind and personality are the only things that they can truly control.

- problem is, today this statement is not really accurate. A lot of thinking just ... too painful to perform (?).

Again, what I found interesting - in reality a lot of our behavior controlled by very tiny changes at chemical and electrical level. Normal chemicals probably never will do 'magic' of this level alone, but in Chatoyance's world Equestria is giant 'supercomputer' place optimized for social life of its inhabitants. So, not just chemistry, but information as well.

Empathy is not so easy to measure (I think measuring it wrongly was part of "Blade Runner"'s question about replicants and humans), and if latest 50 years of history tells us about anything - it better to be open-ended in definition.

For example, in my childhood I ate this:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hematogen
without thinking much about cows life. Well, many years later I learned about many things..so, meat is off-menu for me, now and since 2005. Yet, my dog is different beings, so he eat it.

But while empathy may tell you what a problem is, it doesn't necessarily tell you the best way to fix it.

- yeah, working emphaty requires a lot of thinking...... Actually, i think not only CEOs must be on such list but any profession where you lead group of humans (or not only humans?) into something.... yeah, this thread started partially because I also liked description of human changes in first chapters of Pandemic. But I was bad enough for loosing track and peeking into end of first book ..and ..I feel a bit disappointed? Exactly because I can't say leaving humans as strictly-today humans will do anything good ... Exactly because our "free will" so easily fooled, and no antidote for this problems was found :/

And on empathy in general ..yes, I said I wish those changes to be unremovable exactly because today you (I) can relatively easily regress. Turning blind eye to someone's else problem is tempting. And worst part of this regression - I may not even detect it!

There for example two small episodes from my life - once I've heard as my then-friend described how one morning he was not careful and stepped on his dog, who was sleeping near his bed. I remembered this story and was always watching for dog before stepping off bed. Still, this year I actually hit my dog Grey's tail with closing door :/ This incident still resonates in me like I hit my own tail (and I think it really should be this way - otherwise we will easily repeat our mistakes).

While today's 'social networking' on naive level may provide infrastructure for wide-acting empathy - in reality ..it tend to create its own set of problems. So, just adding technology not helping. And integration of current technologies into more compact form also will not help with fundamental problem of users ...Today something like 'memory recording' looks like ultimate way to solve problem 'we are locked in our own body, without way to feel/remember things as other being experienced it" - but I'm fairly pessimistic - after all, paying attention to (compressed) years and years and years of someone's life is something technology can't do for us......

6865398
Misanthropy is the natural result of being alive long enough to see past the stories that humans tell themselves and notice what it is they actually are, and do. There is nothing wrong with misanthropy: it is the same awakening that comes when one learns that there is no Santa Claus, that god is a fantasy, and that the flags men die for are simply cloth. Misanthropy is being awake.

If you cannot criticize your own species, then any love you have for it cannot be real.

I think the fundamental difference/ issue we causing this disagreement is that I believe in a soul, a premortal life, and an afterlife. We're not going to convince each other of the opposite view, so I won't go into detail. Suffice it to say, I believe that this life is a test of moral character, and also a learning experience to grow, progress, and have opportunities not possible in a perfect world. Lessons learned are much more significant when we have consequences. Also, and I've said this before, good cannot truly be defined or understood without a knowledge of bad. People born and raised in a paradisical place won't know the significance of plenty of food if they've never been hungry, for example. On the other hand, if you experienced it before, then food is precious. Friendships are more treasured in part because we've experienced betrayals or pain from others.
As for misanthropy: I won't say that humanity is perfect. Frankly, we keep running into the same problems of too much power wielded wrongly in the hands of a few. It's happened as far back as Egypt using slaves to show off their engineering powers. Eventually, the masses revolt, and the cycle repeats every couple hundred years. BUT, there are far more good humans than bad. Evidence? We've survived as a species. There are more who build than those who destroy. There are more life givers than life takers (does not just mean murder.)
There are very few humans that are totally bad. We are all choosing what we see as the best choice. And we all have facets that differ from each other. Someone may love their pet, but yell at their children. I work in a nursing home, and treat everyone with kindness, but I'm actually mostly apathetic about them. I'm just good at faking it.

6865650 (NeirdaE)

Evidence? We've survived as a species. There are more who build than those who destroy. There are more life givers than life takers (does not just mean murder.)

Well, isn't whole series dealing with planetary-destructing consequences of such worldview?
Every single human (out of many billions) at the beginning of series can say this. Yet ..
1) At that cost they survived (by ruining nearly everyone else around them)
2) For how long they will survive (not for long enough, while this probably was unfolded in late books)

also, what if 'afterlife' will be _radically_ different from modern mainstream views? If someone designed this system where humans can't have any feedback about what happened to them, and if they actually doing any good - then this someone was quite bad designer ..

Also, a bit of cruel joke: give Humans Heaven - and within short time they will turn it into Hell, all by themselves. (evil_grin)

And also, existence of many_humans and many_buildings today was contributed by many factors ..Imagine if you give birth to 11 humans, 9 or 8 of them die from ..very sad cases. Still, _net result_ if measured in numbers is slowly improving! :( Also, buildings often outlive their builders ...

I think I'll end my thoughts by saying two things:
1. A quote I heard a while back is "You will find what you're looking for in life." This means that if you look for good and wholesome experiences, that will be how you perceive the world. Conversely, if you seek for evil, that will be your universe.
2: News reports on bad things for two reasons: because it makes drama and sells, and for the mundane reason that news is by definition things that don't regularly happen. We don't hear about all the people who drove to work, did their job, and went home. We do hear about the 300 car accidents that happened yesterday, though.

6866034
I should point out that while people say my stories are misanthropic, they really are not, at all. I think... some people just don't understand what misanthropy really means, and they use the word as a weapon against any - literally any - criticism of humanity. Anything less than 'Humanity is the total best, rah rah rah!!!'. I'd like the opportunity to prove my statement about my works with solid evidence.

All of my stories have on thing in common: it is the human self, the 'soul' if you like, the mind, the essential nature of humanity that always saves the day in every single story I have ever written about ponies. Don't believe me? Let me prove it:

The entire premise of 'Teacup, Down On The Farm' is that memories of human existence are too precious to let go of.

The entire point of 'The Big Respawn' is that to a human being, friendship is the most important virtue.

The entire premise of 'Letters From Home' is that human friendship goes beyond all limits - even hatred.

The central plotlines within '27 Ounces' all revolve around human redemption, tenacity, adaptability, and the drive to do what is right no matter what: Dr. Pastern violates law and her own safety and career to help a deeply despised minority, Alexi chooses the truth of his own love for others above his own issues, beliefs and concerns, and in the end, Dr. Pastern chooses to risk her own life, face her fear and sacrifice her own cherished principles in order to save the lives of everyone under her care. Then she defers what she wants most in order to atone for her past.

The entire premise of 'The Taste Of Grass' is that human cleverness and determination can conquer anything, in any universe, ever.

The secondary storyline of 'Going Pony' is about how a rich, shallow woman chooses to find her heart and become a better person.

The entire premise of chapter 1 of 'Tales Of Los Pegasus' is about a young man willing to give his very life to save a stranger.

The entire premise of chapter 2 of 'Tales Of Los Pegasus' is that, for most humans, family is everything.

The entire point of chapter 7 of 'Tales Of Los Pegasus' is that a real man keeps his honor no matter what.

The secondary revelation of chapter 10 of 'Tales Of Los Pegasus' is that the spirit of humanity is eternally irrepressible and valuable.

At the conclusion of 'Code Majeste', only the strength and ingenuity of a human can save both Equestria and Mundis, and the princesses from disaster.

In my Bureau stories, before Equestria even arrives, humanity has ended all war, and every single human being on the planet has food and water every day.

How about some direct quotes from my stories now?

"If I had to grow up in a favela, I am happy is was Noe Valley. We had a real sense of community."
- Going Pony

"You've thought of something no pony has ever thought of, haven't you? Humans... steal their planet, put it back, scatter them to the end of the universe, gobble their planet into another universe, turn them into ponies. Irrepressible! Just irrepressible and amazing the lot of you! Becoming ponies hasn't dimmed your light one bit, has it? Better watch out Celestia, you've got some double clever super-ponies out here."
- Tales Of Los Pegasus

'But this is not what truly motivated her. The little boy had braved the anger of his mother, his community, and death itself to save what he considered to be his best friend. In her entire life, Venice had never seen any person so devoted to another being. She found she could not bear to see such devotion unrewarded. It would be... wrong. Wrong. She tried to wrap her head around this new use of an old word. It was some form of unfair, only... not in a petulant way. It intrigued her.'
- Going Pony

'Ronald was supported by the community. They had paid for every one of his Total Organ Replacements. They had raised the credits for his augments, his nightvision, his permatech hypernet link, his augmented hearing and strength. On his one-hundred and twentieth birthday, they had a huge celebration and provided him with a new uniform - traditional styling from before the Collapse, yet hidden within it was real blackmesh fiber, rendering him all but invulnerable. Ronald had put on his cap and smiled, and the crowd had cheered. He was a global treasure, but he was even more their treasure, he was the last policeman on earth. He united the former Japanese, Chinese and Korean refugees that now called J-Town their home. Everyone knew him, everyone respected him. Some had committed petty crimes just to have the honor of being arrested by him. It was an honor, and a matter of bragging even in polite circles, to have a framed record signed by Great Chief Chua.'
- Tales Of Los Pegasus

'But she hadn't changed them beyond that. Their true humanity, the best of humanity had been kept entirely, wholly intact. The clever, searching, questioning, curious, never-satisfied mind of the primate remained, even in pony form. And these descendants of Newfoals had made their own Equestria, in their own image, after their own imagination.'
- Tales Of Los Pegasus

'Now, in the modern nano-age, under the Worldgovernment, I have to believe that the casual, banal evils that nations once inflicted on their own unknowing populations are a thing of the past. We have grown, as a species, and this time, in this golden age, things are different. Man is different now, than he was during the preceding 10,000 years. This time, we finally are a compassionate planet - we are certainly all working together to save every one of us!'
- Recombinant 63

6866034 (NeirdaE)

1. A quote I heard a while back is "You will find what you're looking for in life."

and also 2 actually good reason for practicing acts of critical thought! Don't base yourself on (news)papers, try to understand what really going on ..a lot of human politic even in areas we usually not consider political. Another saying I definitely like (found on old webstite about peak oil): "deal with reality, otherwise reality will deal with you". Of course, this slogan too short for being immune to misinterpretations.

6866163 (Chatoyance)
Thanks for reciting those lines. Still, what currently defining most of actions probably can be summed as "too little, too late". For example, I knew CO2 react with water, in laboratory, or in making those "saturated" drinks - yet i was caught by surprize by news about _ocean_ acidification! Such scale :/ And not even from direct bad intentions - just byproduct no-one accounted for, until now. And whole thing about "global warming" - sometimes I joke about it as "global warning", warning about how systems we like to consider 'rational' failed to respond timely and rationally ... As I realized even on those pages - 100 years still on human timescale - even if we personally will not see problems in their full force - many others (who will have chance to interact with us) will! Sometimes, I really dislike those too optimistic philosophers of the past, because their optimism left everyone not prepared for escalating problems (because their optimism was also about how fast and how completely humans can absorb new discoveries ..not even about physical 'external' world, but about our own functionating, too!) . This is complex question - beliefs can help short-term, but play counterpositive role if one cling to them too hard...

More bad jokes about God:

God yelling from cloud: "stop using me as excuse!!!"

Why Evil is red? - he is red from effort! - what kind of effort? - stopping humans from doing new and innovative bads! - he is not very successfull .....

God: "How I can communicate _anything_ to people who just twist everything I try to do or say to them?!"

God is dead - he died trying .....

God killed himself, and no human ever noticed ....

God: humans apparently take as fact all my speculative fiction I was writing for fun!

God: you were pretending you following my advice, i was pretending I care about you ...

Actually, i think big advantage of Celestia as imagined in TCB saga from Chatoyance vs say another her favourite Optimalverse's CelestAI - in this universe Celestia has a lot of history, so she not literally jumped into scene out of the (computer) box. With CelestAI I always was left in doubtful state if she ever real as in sensing anything - because if she not ....troubles ahead. With more historically-defined Celestia from "two worlds away from us" it feels more safe, to be around such being. Considering I found real-world {captive, but still real} dolphins good being, and so (street, domestic) dogs too - and in-between those two i was reading horse stories - having non-human as powerful being actually in-line with my life history!

... nowadays you really can't be sure was next thing in your newsfeed so topical because you picked it up out of all other news, or because whole newsfeed was already based on your past preferences ...

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2019/05/awakenings-help-us-find-what-we-are-looking-for-our-beautiful-selves/

url a bit misleading actual title is "Real Awakenings are Not Elegant—they are Messy, Ugly, Shattered & Raw."

Awakenings tear us open. They expose all the yucky stuff, the shameful stuff, the secrets, the dreams that were never given a voice, the relationships that imprison us, the words left unsaid. Awakenings are a mirror we can’t turn away from, even in our ugliest, most tattered gown. They force us to get real, to get honest, to get transparent. They ask us to up level.

well, in this sense I think I experienced something like this - while realization of how world currently (fail?) to function was relatively slow - at some moments I was facing choices - like, just say nothing and got your minutes with captives - or speak up and try to make captives free (not synonym with abandoned!).

There is important point - ponies may look 'too good' if we compare them to humans - yet, they had _up-different_ evolution, and different starting point.. They spend a lot of time practicizing things we were not looking into - no wonder they come better than us, and better in some way we not used to associate with term 'superiority'. Exactly because they were superior at NOT making this superior stance!

I come with this (imaginable) picture: Imagine earth's atmosphere. Humans usually can be found at very bottom of this. yet, they learned to climb, swim, and fly. Some of them even learned this extremely energy costly trick about orbiting planet so fast you never fail down. And at the some point they just meet someponies who naturally live 'up there' all their lives. Those ponies still have their far away places, but they can hover at ease where humans currently must put a lot of effort just for staying here. Well, not sure if you will read my analogy right (as intended by me) - today humans often can raise above their background, but _for short time_ Like jet plane, trying to fly much higher than usually possible. Some humans can stay in those more advanced states of seeing reality and acting/helping others, even if authority says you shouldn't . Yet, for us it often cost a lot just keeping up good work. Someone with better understanding of very fundamental principles of society and psychology can appear hovering completely effortlessly around us. But then they had their own questions and uneasiness to solve. Yet, if such beings will try to 'lift us up' - they may easily find we simply can't enjoy their world, because we, say, afraid of heights (i am , for example. Or, I fear failings and hard hitting surfaces more than abstract heights). So, removing elements preventing us from doing something really new (in this compassion/love direction) is not bad, especially if 'removing' actually done by adding/rebalancing, not actual cut-down. Note, this is metaphorical piece. I'm not good at voicing those out, but then I try to practice!

So, Chatoyance's fiction IMO quite rare trans- (post?) humanism - not trapped in modern mainstream (and somewhat shortsightened) views. In this sense, she already added to this very 'big cup of human imagination'.

6866163 You don't have to prove shit and not like these ass clowns would listen. Maybe you could reach some of them?

If you were a Misanthropist(tm), which I don't see you as or really care if you were, so the fuck what? Someone would say "Oh, you're racist against humans." and I would say because I'm angry dick who getting old and tired "No you fucking faggot. *slap 'em around* "Humans do some mean shit and you need people around to point that out so we as race can correct that. I Just slap you and did you like that? No. But I felt that was the only way to get though to you. But there's better ways and sometimes you need a cranky person (which is you Chatoy' and others) to point that SHIT OUT! Butt, butt in the what."

So yeah, you got problems but who doesn't? People don't think for themselves because of the lie: "Great minds think alike." and they're lazy. I'm know because I'm lazy. Got shit to do and soulless things breathing down my neck. Like everyone else.

You made enemies and that means to me because you did something important.

6866527
You know, Griseus, you are right. You are fucking right. I am an idiot for even concerning myself with any of that shit.

I'm not going to worry about whether people think I am misanthropic or not. If I am, so what? If I am not, so what?

Thank you for the reality check. I have always worried far too much about what other people think. Fuck other people (not you!).

Anyway, thanks!

6866679 You are welcome and it was no problem. Not an idiot to listening or following social cues. We're human and it's one of those built in survival things. Doesn't mean you can't work with or change yourself. Just means you started with stats. Some of them will be easier to change than other while some of them are near impossible. What is what then is not my call. Would have said that in a more elegant way that was less "fuck yeah bro" but that side of myself doesn't get out much.

6866679

“You know, Griseus, you are right. You are fucking right. I am an idiot for even concerning myself with any of that shit. I'm not going to worry about whether people think I am misanthropic or not. If I am, so what? If I am not, so what?”

In other words: Don't listen to politically correct meanies, who call you “racist” or “misanthropic” or something. Sounds good to me. As long as you don't take it too far! As long as you don't throw honorable people, with legitimate points, into the bucket of “politically correct meanies”.

^ this.

6867345
I always try to be nice, because I believe in the social utility of civility and kindness. I get pissy when I feel that not being returned in kind. I actually think 'civility' is one of the greatest of all human technologies.

Personally, I don't think 'political correctness' is ever an issue so long as one treats other people - all other people, however different they are from oneself - with basic respect and compassion. That means, call people what they want or prefer, not because it is political, but because it is polite and kind to do so. Don't label people or try to claim knowledge of what they think or who they are - it is rude, and being rude is not kind or polite. Treat everyone as deserving of basic respect whether they have earned it yet or not for the same reason one should always assume confusion or misunderstanding before malice. That sort of thing. You know, just acting decent.

To me, meanness is... being mean. Attacking, harshly judging, arbitrarily blaming, condemning, tearing someone down, piling on someone as a group, shitting on someone or their work, or on who they are or what they like. There is no excuse for that. That is just being a bully on the playground of life. If someone hasn't asked for criticism, there is no reason to jump in and barf it up all over them. That isn't kind, and it isn't decent.

I find a great value in the Buddhist concept of 'worthy speech'. Speech is worthy only if it is: 1. Kind, 2. Useful, 3. Necessary.

So, in dealing with others, I feel one cannot go wrong if one asks themselves "Will this not hurt the other person?", "Will this actually be useful to them?", and "Does it actually serve a purpose (other than my own gratification) that I bother to say this at all?".

Managing to actually pull this off consistently... well, that's the trick, isn't it? Not easy. But, I think, worth shooting for.

6867650
That philosophy of worthy speech is interesting, but it doesn't always work for me. I often find that when something is useful and necessary to say, it is the unkindest thing to say. I often say it anyway because I believe the act of saying it acts as a guard rail on a highway in that scrapping against harsh words is a lot better than driving right off the cliff when the road has turned but the driver has not. In some cases I have tried to be kind to make the impact softer, but over the cliff they went. Any advice as to how I can make such statements kinder but continue to carry the same impact?

6882979
Perhaps.

One thing I have learned is before giving criticism, start off with a compliment, and, then end with one. This bookcases the criticism in positive feelings, reducing the affect of the criticism.

Another technique, with a particularly sensitive individual, is to avoid 'You' statements. Instead of sounding accusing, try to talk in terms of how the issue affects you - the reason you feel compelled to bring it up at all. Rather than "You always do this instead of that, and if you didn't, you would be better off in some way! Fool!" it could be more effective to state the same thing as "When I see you do this, I feel kind of bad (scared, sad, upset, weirded-out, etc). I am really concerned about the matter." This makes the discussion about the issue and your concerns, rather than the person... thus avoiding feelings of being personally attacked.

Sometimes putting a criticism into a question for permission to criticize can reduce upset. "I'm upset about that thing. It really bothered me, and I'm having trouble with it. Can we talk about that thing?" Then follow up with avoidance of using 'you' statements as much as possible.

Of course, all of this is optimal, and it is difficult to always be who and what one want's to be. Sometimes... we blurt out, sometimes we just can't be as kind as we want to be. And... sometimes, anyone can be a jerk, because life is hard and emotions are volatile. Also, ape brains. It's a definite handicap.

Using humor helps.

In the end, it seems that all criticism is a risk. By the way, the way I phrased that? The 'It seems' bit. That is another technique - avoiding making absolutist statements. Potential anger can be defused early by couching critical statements in nonabsolute terms. Instead of "It must be done this way!", it is possible to use something like "It is possible to use something like this." Or even "It has been my experience that doing it this way really works out a lot better."

But, sometimes, if you are angry and you are dealing with a complete dumbshit, the only answer is "Do it the way I told you, you stupid cow! Now get out of my sight!"

It might not be the best to listen to that last bit of advice.

6883358

"Do it the way I told you, you stupid cow! Now get out of my sight!"

Just rather be the person who don't have to step around eggshells. Both ends.