TRunning Out Of Air

• Equestria Girls
• Drama
• Sad

Wallflower has been living a difficult life since the destruction of the Memory Stone, but no one else knows... so far.

• Suicide / Self Harm
• Sunset Shimmer
• Wallflower Blush

I-A-M · 44k words  ·  140  5 · 2.5k views

Summary

A chance encounter at a homeless shelter leads to drastic life changes for both Wallflower Blush and Sunset Shimmer.

Overview

A truly great read, Running Out of Air manages to be real and compelling while avoiding many of the pitfalls of teen drama.

First Impressions

Okay, so, to start off, full disclosure.  I come into this story with a bias; I’m already a fan of the author’s stories, having read several others. 

Now to the chapter breakdown.

Chapter One (Thoughts of Being Gone): Right out of the gate we’re treated to an intimate view of Wallflower Blush’s mental illness. The author makes it quite clear, without being explicit, that Wallflower has self-image issues, has considered self-harm, and is deeply in denial about the dangers of her living situation.

One interesting thought I had was regarding one of the pitfalls of writing such a deep first person perspective.  I think there’s a temptation to be explicit in revealing a character’s past and present through their inner monologue, rather than showing the reader subtly and gradually.  The author here avoids this pitfall with grace and skill.  It’s quite well done, and even more impressive when you consider that Wallflower isn’t exactly an honest narrator.

Chapter Two (I’d Even Do That Wrong): Now we’re in Sunset Shimmer’s perspective, and once again the author shows their skill at showing us bits of these character’s history through subtle hints in the internal monologue.  Only this time, we add dialogue to the mix.  As the two characters interact, there’s a subtle sort of chemistry that I really like.  Sunset has clear feelings for Wallflower that go beyond friendship.

It’s a little obvious from Sunset’s dialogue that Sunset feels this way, but Wallflower doesn’t challenge her on it or demand more details.  This feels just a little off.

Chapter Three (I Can’t Turn Back): I love the confrontation here.  Again, I think there’s real chemistry between the two, and I don’t just mean romantic.  The shared experience is wonderful, with just enough difference between the two of them to make their conflicts have meaning.

I still wish Wallflower would question some of Sunset’s statements.  How does she know Wallflower doesn’t like to be touched?  Why is Wallflower important to Sunset?  It feels like something Wallflower should push back on.

There’s some dark implications here of Sunset being manipulative in order to get what she wants.  I hope this conflict becomes important later.

Chapter Four (I Hold My Breath): More emotional manipulation from Sunset.  I hope Wallflower doesn’t let her get away with this much longer.  It’s a really good way to foreshadow future conflict, though.

So I’ve been noticing something that makes me really happy.  One common theme in other stories by this author is the ‘teenager against everyone’ idea.  It’s never a major theme, but often comes through in small ways throughout other stories.  It can be tiresome; that sort of drama stopped being engaging to me when I stopped being a teenager myself.

When I first started reading, I was concerned we might be leaning into those themes here.  However, this is not the case!  Consistently we are exposed to adults who do not take the antagonist role, not even a little.  Sunset’s efforts to help Wallflower would go nowhere without characters like Sticky Note, the sisters at the shelter, or even the offscreen Vice-Principal Luna.  I’m really hoping that Wallflower learning that some adults can be an aid will be an ongoing theme, so we can really hammer down on those ideas.

Chapter Five (Which Way): This might be the first real criticism I have, here.  From a pacing standpoint, maybe Wallflower’s faint could have happened at the end of the last chapter, for the sake of creating a cliffhanger?

Maybe I’m just biased in my love of cliffhangers.

Moving on, we get a delightfully visceral reaction to the IV needle.  It’s like a microcosm of Wallflower’s most extreme anxiety, and the struggle as Sunset works to help her through it creates such a tense and wonderful conflict.

So Sunset changes ‘important’ to ‘precious’ here.  I really think Wallflower should be pushing for a why.  I get that neither one is emotionally ready to have that conversation yet, but it’s odd that Wallflower isn’t at least wondering, instead of merely denying the possibility.

Chapter Six (And Where): The more I stare at my screen, here, the more I realize it’s going to be nearly impossible to articulate my feelings for this chapter.

Sunset’s characterization is stunning.  Obviously the writer had to hammer home that she can’t be alone, can’t fix Wallflower without outside help.  But the way the author chose to do this, in the middle of a grocery store, over chicken soup?  Perfect.

Once again I applaud the author for finding a balance between having Sunset be the hero, and showing that she can’t do it all by herself.

Chapter Seven (What Else To Say): What a fantastic contrast!  In chapter six, we have a stunningly emotional scene of Sunset breaking down and desperately reaching out for the help of those around her.  At the beginning of this, we open with Wallflower’s inability to communicate, listen to, or connect with those who are trying to help her.  It’s such a beautiful juxtaposition.  Wallflower’s oversimplification of what the doctor is telling her is just a perfect way to show her mental illness.

Applejack’s brief appearance, and the whole conversation about Sunset’s friends creates a bit of an issue for me.  Sunset’s friends are a bit conspicuous in their absence throughout the narrative.  When Wallflower accuses them of only caring about her because of Sunset, I wonder if Sunset should have pushed back harder against that idea?  It seems to do them a disservice, and Sunset seems like she should be more loyal than that.

Chapter Eight (Turning Around):  This chapter is an example of excellent pacing.  The growing sense of disaster is palpable.  Sunset’s conversation with Rarity is a good foreshadow, and the reader has a sense of the coming dread long before Sunset starts reading emotional impressions on the objects in the kitchen.

I would have liked to have seen a bit more explanation as to how Sunset’s romantic feelings for Wallflower came about.  I feel like Rarity might have pushed more for the details.  But in the end, the absence doesn’t detract much from the story.

Chapter Nine (Come Back): I could be wrong, but this chapter feels like a real mental breakthrough for Wallflower.  Maybe the first real breakthrough for her.  The fact that it happens around her sexuality and her feelings for Sunset warms my cheesy, romance-loving heart.

I’m a little sad the scene cuts off and we don’t get most of Wallflower’s interactions with Bright Eyes.  I rather enjoyed the conversation they were having.  Like several other of the adult side characters here, Bright Eyes is engaging and well-written, and it’s a bit of a shame to cut him short like that.

Wallflower’s negative reaction to the smell of smoke is an interesting detail.  More than any of the other senses, smell is tied to memory.  It’s a good bit of character building that the smell of smoke would be tied to some past trauma.

I want to mention, again, how well the author has done backstory and exposition.  Every hint of Wallflower’s past has been revealed via implication, by physical reaction, or by some other method of showing, rather than telling.  It’s very impressive.

Chapter Ten (We Could Be): Not much to say about this chapter.  While the clock metaphor is beautiful, the whole chapter feels like it’s treading water.  Wallflower reveals to Sunset her revelation from the last chapter, and neither character takes the opportunity to talk about the implications of that, or what it means for their relationship going forward.

Not much happens, and I’m not quite sure either character’s reasonings for staying silent is all that convincing.  Thus, this chapter just felt like a bit of filler before we move on to the impending climax.

Chapter Eleven (Now or Never): On their way to the doctor’s office, we get arguably one of the funniest interactions in the story.

“Look it’s just— she’s got really strong wicked witch vibes, okay?” Sunset says awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head as she does. “If she had a blog that was just pictures of her, in four-inch heels, stepping on people, I wouldn’t be surprised, and she’d probably be making more money off that than her medical career!”

I’m dying.

Chrysalis is exactly as advertised.  She’s got the evil witch vibes, and there’s a distinct line of selfishness in her thinking that is almost refreshing.

Still, she’s not an antagonist, despite all her intimidation.  I love how she’s been characterized.

And at the end of the chapter, the final conflict comes to light.  As I hoped earlier, Sunset’s manipulative tactics, while seemingly necessary at the time, have come home to bite her in the butt.

Chapter Twelve (Wish You Could) AND Chapter 13 (You Were Perfect): I’m going to handle the last two chapters together, because of how the pacing between them affects the story.

The buildup to the climax is great.  The climactic argument itself is good, but it feels too short. 

As we skip to chapter thirteen, there’s a significant time skip, jumping ahead to weeks later when Wallflower finally gets her own place.

As an ending, it’s a little frustrating.  While the primary conflicts are solved (Sunset’s manipulative behavior and Wallflower’s life-threatening physical condition), several secondary conflicts are left unresolved.  These conflicts include Wallflower and Sunset’s inability to communicate their emotions, Wallflower’s ongoing mental health issues, and their future together.  While not everything needs to be wrapped up in a nice bow (especially not the mental health stuff) leaving so much undone before Wallflower moves out feels incomplete.

I recognize that the story has sequels, but I can’t help but think that some of this should have been handled in this story.

Ultimately, it doesn’t ruin the story at all, but I do feel like it somewhat interferes with the tone at the end.  I assume that we’re supposed to feel hopeful, like Wallflower is over the worst of her challenges, but without a little bit more I don’t know if it’s exactly earned. 

It does, however, make me eager to read the sequels.  So if the point was to end the story on a cliffhanger, then it was a success?

Ratings by Category

Characters: Wallflower and Sunset are fantastic.  Wallflower’s mental health issues, and her backstory, are almost never explicitly stated and are always shown through action and through her inner monologue.  Her irrationality comes through in the narrative in brilliant ways.

Sunset is also excellent, both as a main character on her own, and as a comparison point for Wallflower.  The struggles are similar, but since Sunset is in a better place mentally, she handles them better.  It’s not all sunshine and roses, though, because her struggles feel real and powerful.

The gallery of adult side characters are handled well.  I love Sunset’s support crew; each one feels real and unique, though I would have liked for Bright Eyes to have a bit more time in the plot.  Chrysalis’ scene, in particular, is fantastic.

If there’s a down note here, it’s that I feel like the others of the Mane Seven were mishandled.  They feel far too hands-off given what we know about their virtues, and their absence is a little odd with no real explanation as to why.

Setting: No criticism here whatsoever.  The setting is utilitarian and unobtrusive, except when the author decides to throw in some quite nice sensory and evocative descriptions.  Here’s some of the best:

The elevator is a loud, ugly-sounding thing, and it descends through the floors less like a smooth-cabled cabin, and more like a corpse bouncing down a rocky escarpment.

I love that the description here really pounds home Wallflower’s anxiety and dread.  Even more interesting that the next time she’s in that same elevator, even alongside a stranger, she’s much more comfortable.  It’s a nice touch.

By the time I get to my apartment I'm dead on my feet.

I punch in the keycode to my apartment, get inside, call the elevator, wait the requisite epoch for it to reach me, then ride up to my apartment because I’m too tired to take the stairs this time.

While the elevator makes its curmudgeonly way up to the sixth floor, I pull out the white bag of medications. Honestly, I probably should have checked them before I even left the pharmacy, but I was too tired to think of it at the time.

Hmm, here we are at the elevator again.  Only this time the author uses the descriptions to lengthen time and thus draw out Sunset’s worry.

I don’t really hear her. I just step past her and inside the room which smells faintly of sandalwood. Everything in the office is done up in warm shades of brown and green, and against my normal instinct, I actually start to relax. There’s music too, but it’s turned so low that I can barely hear it, even inside the room, and it has an oddly low, distant quality to it.

Bright Eye’s office.  The whole room manages to telegraph the room’s owner, and his personality.

Ultimately, the space the characters are in never eclipses the characters and what they’re doing in that space.

Dialogue: Wallflower’s a bit of an unreliable narrator, so seeing the dissonance between what she’s thinking and what she’s saying is really nice.

Sunset’s more honest with her dialogue, which again goes back to the differences between them that the author has drawn.

The dialogue always feels natural and real.  Characters interrupt each other, characters struggle with what to say and start over.  This whole story is a good example of natural dialogue.

Plot Structure: Overall, the structure works.  The action builds, the conflicts are all foreshadowed and grow as a logical result of the differences between the characters.  The struggles they face feel real, and it takes real effort to overcome, giving emotional weight to the climax.

The author has also made sure to keep the stakes high.  At first, things are simply life and death for Wallflower, but then the stakes are raised when we discover that Sunset’s livelihood might be at risk if the conflicts aren’t resolved.

If there’s one dark spot here, it’s that the climax feels rushed, with some pieces left unresolved.

Grammar: This story was meticulously edited.  I found no grammar issues.

Verdict: Highly Recommended

Final Thoughts/Feedback:

I can easily say this is one of the best stories I’ve read in a long time.  I don’t think I have any further feedback.  I’ll be re-reading this lovely narrative again in the future, I can promise you that.

Best Part: Needle meltdown.  Psychic readings in the kitchen.  Naughty Chrysa-dom blog ideas.  Learning how to make chicken soup from a barista.

Thank you so much for this review. The fact that you touched on some of my own favorite moments in the story: Cuppa's advice and Chrysalis' scene most notably, is incredibly validating to me as an author because it means I wasn't the only one who thought those parts were good. Thank you so, so much.