EPremarital Smooching

• Equestria Girls
• Romance
• Slice of Life

When Sunset and Wallflower first started dating, Wallflower asked that they take it slow. A few months later, Sunset really just wants to kiss her already.

• Sunset Shimmer
• Wallflower Blush

Scampy · 1.6k words  ·  140  19 · 2.5k views

I saw the tags on this story and picked it up immediately. I love a good romance story, and since works’ been killing me, I figured I’d get a new review out. So without further ago here we go!

This story made me stop and go “Dawwwh” which for it’s short word count is impressive. But then I remember the saying of “it’s not the length that matters, it’s how you use it.” and I believe that can also apply to writing. What Scampy has achieved here is a wholesome piece of fluff. I wish there were more stories like this. Often, when browsing for good romances, that sad tag is there and sometimes that is scary enough on its own. So it’s refreshing to see a standard SOL/Romance. Scampy does a wonderful job with everything in here, and honestly you’ve probably read this already, but heck go read it again. It’s really good.

9/10

The heart of the story is actually the relationship of Wallflower and Sunflower. I don’t know how long they have been dating, but it’s long ago you can feel Sunset’s struggle that she just wants to kiss her girlfriend. It’s also good character growth for both of them, especially Sunset’s part. Her patience with Wallflower, and willingness to take things slow is just wonderfully executed. I can’t really find many flaws in how this was written. If anything at all, I’d fuss about the shortness of the piece, wishing for more, but that’s definitely being nitpicky.

10/10

Wallflower: Granted she was only in that one movie, I can’t recall if she’s in the shorts afterwards as I didn’t keep up with them, but this Wallflower feels very real. The very core of her character is hard to describe. She’s anxious, prone to panicking, and often blames herself, even if it’s out of her control. She constantly feels this need to attack herself for actions of her past, and it has damaged her to a certain extent. Yet, Wallflower is healing, she’s getting better because she’s choosing to follow the path of good, the path of light, and having Sunset to look up to makes the whole dynamic of these two as a couple fit like a glove.

Sunset: Driven, Intelligent and Resourceful, Sunset is in many ways a counter to Twilight. She’s been reformed and is following her own path now. However, that doesn’t mean she’s perfect. She’s impulsive at times, quick to jump to a conclusion, and not always is she right, but in this story she’s the perfect partner to Wallflower. She shows firm resolve in not pushing things too far too fast, she knows Wallflower’s limits, and respects them, even if she internally struggles with what she wants, which is a simple kiss. Her understanding of Wallflower as a person rather than just all the anxiety and stress that have been piled on her, make Sunset a great partner for Wallflower. 

10/10

I couldn’t find any errors in this piece. Good job!
10/10

This whole idea of “Just kiss already” I haven’t seen a lot of stories do it, but I know it’s like a thing that exists in some romance movies. I know I used to fuss, why read a romance book if you know the couple will always get together by the end? It’s the journey. How do they go from strangers to lovers. And this story is no different. How Wallflower and Sunset go from struggling to get that first kiss, to making out on the bed.

The execution was also solid. Every line hit me in a different way and as I read, there was a moment or two where I stopped and “Dawwwh” because it just feels that wholesome and sweet. I almost feel like I had a sugar overload.

8/10

I really enjoyed this piece, despite it’s short word count, it really hits home. The message of being understanding and knowing when to push forward and when to pull back is something every couple out there should know. Especially if one of the two in the relationship has been hurt like Wallflower. It takes a lot more effort for  the pony/person with them in order for the relationship to bloom.

Final Score: 9+10+10+10+8=47/50
9.7/10

Headpat worthy: Yes

Boop worthy:

Needs work:

To the author: Woah. I’ve always wanted to read your stuff, but I admit I was a bit nervous with being an emotional mess of a mare, but I would definitely read more of this kind of thing. It’s just so “Dawwwwh”

To the reader: GO READ IT. It's really that good. I know I’m gushing ,but Screeeeeeeeeeee!

(Also to the followers of the Reviewer's Mansion, I'm still alive and doing all I can, just work has literally been exhausting. I will try to do more reviews soon!) <3

<For archive purposes: 9.7/10>