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SwordTune
Group Contributor

Review
Welcome to WAR! I am SwordTune, the manager, representative, only employee, and sole proprietor of “We Are Reviews, SP.” Fresh off the factory line, today we have a review for “The Snuggling” by The Sleepless Beholder. 

EThe Snuggling
Sunset’s powers go wild during a sleepover at Rainbow’s house. Now, her friends must escape the snuggles.
The Sleepless Beholder · 3.6k words  ·  168  4 · 4.5k views

Plot Analysis: The brevity of the plot is more or less surmised by the story’s one description. Sunset is possessed by the urge to snuggle during a sleepover, and her friends have to snap her out of it. A few quirks here and there about how it plays out is that the story makes light of classic horror movie tropes, giving the snuggle-hungry Sunset the same role as Jason Voorhees or a xenomorph from Alien. 

Characters: The story is character dense, with the main EQG cast members each having a speaking role and varying degrees of involvement with the story. I would have preferred if there were fewer characters to help balance the flow of the story since it felt like some dialogue or action beats were placed purely for the sake of the character to be present.

Dialogue: With such a short story, being efficient with your words is important. The density of the characters comes through mostly in the dialogue, where you can have all the girls in one room swapping conversation with each other. 

Overall: 6/10, readable and not terrible, but lacking strong engagement beyond its premise. Straightforward comedy/horror fusion. The introduction to the conflict takes up about a third of the story and is, for the most part, simply a play-by-play of a slumber party starting out. The issue that persists from the start to the end is that some areas have a little more detail than necessary, stalling the story where it should be flowing smoothly.

For the Author: I get the feeling that the humour of contrasting horror tropes with the circumstance of the story would be much better if the reader was given fewer characters, allowing the story to have more room to play around with comedy/horror elements. Furthermore, there are odd word choices here and there, both in the dialogue and narration. They occur with less frequency, which suggests it’s not a stylistic choice, but because of that, when they do come up it makes it a little more jarring.  For example, Twilight refers to the flashlight on her phone as her “lantern.” There’s no joke or build-up to that, she doesn’t seem to be purposefully calling it something else, she just calls it a lantern. Other cases, like the use of “askew,” are cases of using uncommon words to describe a scene without actually increasing the detail of the description. 

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For the Reader: Give the story a read and feel it out for yourself. The benefit of it being light and comical is that even if you don’t enjoy all of it, you’re not as completely invested as a novella or novel-length story. The premise is entertaining, even if the story runs on a little longer than it needs to for something as straightforward as it is.

<For archive purposes: 6/10>

7426590
I feel like I didn't give you much to work with :rainbowlaugh:

Lack of polish is a common trend in my stories and something I'm trying to fix with my next stories moving foward. About the odd choice of wording, that's just out of my unfamiliarity with the english language.

Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed the story.

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