Summary: Pinkie Pie breaks her leg while hiking.

Twilight Sparkle falls in love with a mystery girl at a concert.

Sunset Shimmer carries on a long distance relationship with a magical pony princess from another dimension.

Multiple melodies, weaving in and out of one another, sometimes overlapping, sometimes competing, sometimes complimenting one another. Voices join in then fade away, adding to the collective whole. And in the end, maybe this symphony will lift the heart and dry the tears of an old foe.

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS>

Initial thoughts: Here we have a story based in the Equestria Girls series, that promises us, a bunch of overlapping plot developments and character arcs, all in a matter of a less less than 70k words. And I found myself truly engaged in this story. How applezombi weaves the plot lines together, and is able to connect the dots to each chapter, while a basic tool any writer should do, is done splendidly here. I enjoyed this story greatly, and despite a few moments where it felt like it was very slow moving, and one weak chapter, overall, I am impressed. 8/10.

Heart of the story: There's a lot to talk about here, so I've decided to break it down by chapter! But the heart of the story I feel if I had to pin it down to something, it's how Sonata is able to be helped by strangely enough, human Twilight and Pinkie Pie. While there are plenty of other characters that play a role in this story, I feel it's their role that had the most impact over the overall theme/heart of the story, and each character felt true to themselves. Granted, Sonata is sorta a blank slate with not much characterization to her so it leaves it open ended, but I did enjoy the direction that was chosen.

Chapter breakdown:

Chapter 1 thoughts:
Chapter one starts off strong with an immediate character arc, we learn through the character’s dialogue at the restaurant about what happened to Pinkie Pie, whil the interactions of each character feel true to their own personalities. There is little hints sprinkled throughout the chapter as to what the story might be leading to, but it feels like a blunt attempt at a tease, to get the reader to continue reading to find out.

A first chapter is a lot like the summary in a way. It has to have that “hook” that thing that makes the reader want to keep reading, And at first I thought the hook was what might be going on with Twilight or Pinkie’s accident, but it’s actually none of those things. I’d rather not spoil it, but let’s just say I’m invested, and I want to see where this goes. 

Chapter 2 thoughts: The second chapter starts off in the perspective of Sunset Shimmer writing to pony Twilight about what happened to Pinkie Pie, this is a great way to convey “showing” while still telling us readers what happened without being “telly” Believe me, this is a hard thing to master, and often I struggle, so kudos on that.

Secondly, the later half of the chapter goes back and forth with more subtle hints to what might happen in the story. Twilight’s at the concert seeking advice from her brother and his wife about what to do about this stange “crying girl.” I could tell right away who it was, long before it was revealed, but it’s a good way to tie in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 giving them both reasons that you should keep reading for right now, I still have more questions than answers, but I’m invested and I wanna know more.

There’s also a brief interaction between Sunset and Trixie that I personally thought was adorable. <3

Chapter 3 thoughts: “You... can make tacos in soup form?” Sonata asked. Her face was alight with wonder. Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle, which of course made Sonata scowl. “What?”
Line from story, comments.
Whenever you introduce a different character that isn’t the speaker, it should be a new sentence, and not tied into the sentence where the other character is speaking.
Example: “You...can make tacos in soup form?” Sonata asked. Her face was alight with wonder.

Pinkie couldn’t help but giggle, which made Sonata scowl.

“What?” Sonata asked, glaring daggers right at Pinkie.

Objectively, I don’t know how to explain why that is wrong, but it’s always best when you have a new character speaking, or doing an action/description to start it off in a new sentence separate from the one prior. I’m sure there’s a term for this, but admittedly I don’t know what it’s called. *blush*

Alright, Chapter three weaves into the ending of Chapter 1 where Pinkie Pie discovers a certain blue haired siren. I really am enjoying how each chapter has connections to the former, and has little bits of subtle subtext sprinkled in. This chapter focuses on Pinkie Pie, and how she is strong for her friends, this is really a big thing, because so often people that seem the happiest can sometimes be sad deep down. And Pinkie’s characterization is exactly what drives the plot forward, and despite Sonata’s resistance to want help, it’s Pinkie’s struggle that relates to her, and I feel that’s great characterization. Some might say that Sonata agreement at the end might feel a bit “rushed” for them just meeting, but I believe it. And I think it’s a strong chapter. This story continues to surprise me.

My biggest fuss with this chapter is that I wish there was more descriptions, there’s this big chunk of just dialogue, and I understand dialogue is great and powerful, but it just stands out to me, that there isn’t much description that pairs symbol with the dialogue to make the characters and their actions stand out each more. You have to learn a lot from what they are saying, and to some that might feel like a shortcut to avoid “telly-ness” but in this context I feel it works.

Chapter 4 thoughts: Chapter 4 weaves back into Sunset and Twilight. And I found how each chapter is connected in various ways to be interesting, and it’s a rather interesting approach. There’s a term for it, one I always forget. But this chapter reminds me of a sit down and talk chapter. Sunset and Twilight talk. That’s basically all that happens and yet in this simple simplicity there is beauty. Sunset’s fears about her past, how others will see her now. Twilight freaking out because she’s scared and anxious about meeting the blue haired girl. It connects dots to other chapters and gives us feels for what is to come.

Interlude: It focuses on Sonata, it might feel a little awkward for some readers to go from a story that was focusing on Sunset, Pinkie and Twilight to now Sonata.

Personally, I was able to follow it quite easily. I didn’t feel any confusion by reading Sonata's perspective, as she talks with a counselor. 

Still Waters-She reminds me of what I’d expect from a counselor, she’s open, considerate, and respectful, and even when things get crazy and involve magic she doesn’t flinch in the face of adversity. While she’s a new character, her characterization, and how she handles her professionalism shows in such a manner that it blew me away. I’ve dealt with my fair share of counselors, I can immediately see the bad from the good by just how they speak. And Still Waters is a good one. I am eager to see how she grows from her, and how she will help Sonata to better understand herself.

Sonata-Sonata never really had a “defined” character outside of being the naive/stupid one of the sirens, so her character is open to be developed through a story. And in this chapter we’re shown just a glimpse of things to come, as I can sense struggling, anxiety, doubt, and a wanting to be loyal to her sisters, despite them not really being good for her. Of course, there’s all the themes I would expect in her backstory, or at least as much is revealed to us in this chapter. It’s brief, but it plays along the line of being eye opening to the readers without giving away too much within the backstory itself, and how this is captured in the dialogue of the counselling session is just brilliant!

This is the interlude. That means it would be the end of Act 1. Stories are supposed to have a three act structure. The start, the climax, the fall. It’s a very basic thing you learn as a writer, so I’m intrigued to see how that ties into the story as a whole. Right now The Interlude might seem like not much, but I have a feeling it will play a big part later on. Let’s dig in deeper shall we?

Chapter 5 thoughts: Chapter five goes back to focusing on Twilight, which weaves into the ending of Chapter 4. Consistency. It’s often so hard for us to get so absorbed in our writing that not often we forget the very basics of blending stories together from chapter to chapter. It’s simple, yet difficult to achieve a balance. I am really finding myself amazed and baffled at how easily Applezombi manages to do this with such a profession and a certain style of grace.

As for what happens in the chapter, there’s honestly not a lot to talk about here. I mean I don’t want to spoil the story for readers of the story, so the basics of this chapter is another sit down, and talk kind of style, and it helps for the characters to get to know each other, and is very fitting of the slice of life style, this story is taking as it’s namesake. Often, I hear Slice of Life is not interesting, but I am finding that to be absolutely not true in the case of this story. Sometimes the most interesting stories are the ones that feel real, like they could happen to us in the real world, and it helps us to connect with the characters.

Chapter 6 thoughts: Chapter six opened with Twilight and other Twilight talking with each other about failure, struggle, growth, and character development. It’s again more of a sit down and talk kind of chapter which seems to be a recurring theme within this story. I’m not saying it’s bad, the way I’ve been invested in simple talks between characters as the story progresses is quite good, but I feel like there’s something that should be happening soon. Some sort of climax, and other than subtle hints here and there, I still don’t really know what that is, and to some readers that may be a turn off, or disengage them from continuing the story. Like just comparing this chapter to the first one. It feels...a little weak. Granted I did like the talk between the Twilight’s but it’s like stuff we already knew, and did we really need to hear it again? 

So yeah this chapter was a bit of a let down for me personally. I don’t feel it builds up the environment, however it does progress the story, in a small way, by having each Twilight wanting to better understand each other. But again, I just feel like we have been here before. So let’s see how this goes from here.

Interlude 2: The interlude here goes back to the therapy sessions with Sonata, and while again I find Still Waters presentation and how she represents a therapist, highly engaging, and interesting, there’s not a whole lot to say here. The therapy goes on like you would expect. I am wondering how it will connect the dots to the rest of the story. I have my own feelings on what I perceive will happen, but right now I must continue onwards. 

For the readers that got this far, this story has been mostly a very enjoyable read for me, but I’m still waiting for something to happen, a climax of sorts. So let’s see what happens next.

Chapter 7 thoughts: Chapter seven goes back to focusing on Twilight (pony) and Sunset and it’’s very cute, very real, and very sweet. I enjoyed this look into their relationship, and I rather enjoyed the way that apple conveys emotions without just forcing the details down our throats, and letting us see it through the dialogue, and the “sappy” googly eyes of two new lovers. It’s fluffy, and I love that. (I may be slightly biased.)

Then we shift focus back to Pinkie Pie. I find her arc in this story to be by far the most interesting, despite how I don’t think she’s a “main character” more of a supporting character to the rest of the group, which fits her rather well when you think about it. She’s always there for her friends, and is the most likely to be a friend for Sonata to accept her despite her past. In this case it feels like Pinkie is taking the role of Princess Twilight when she helped Sunset get past her bad past, to embrace a brighter future. Each is similar, but I do believe there’s enough differences here that I enjoyed this take on things.

Lastly, Sonata. I just want to address that I am eager to see her grow. It’s clear she’s struggling to accept the change, and wants to retreat back into her hoodie afraid of the others. And it’s very real. That’s the best way I could describe this story. Despite being about ponies, this feels very much like real life, and how each character is handled with precision and care. Truly, apple is showing how awesome they are as a story teller and crafter and it’s a shame I feel this story is underrated.

Chapter 8 thoughts: Ah ha. Here it is. The climax. Without revealing exactly what happens, because well you should read the story before you read this review, but I digress.

This chapter focused on human Twilight and Sonata’s second date, and what happens afterwards. The chapter starts off fairly simple enough with more character one on one’s that help further progress the story, and you can almost sense there’s something deeper than what’s going on, just by the subtly of Sonata’s emotions, and how she just wants to hide. This chapter really sold me, I already was rather enjoying the story, but I can safety say, unless applezombi really screws up in the last few chapters, this is by far a wonderful story worthy of headpats.

Chapter 9: This was a wild ride from the very start to the ending, the chapter builds on the events of the last chapter, and I was fully engrossed. I have a gut feeling of what I believe will happen from other stories with similar themes, but the intensity of the situation is continuing and I can only hope everything will be okay.

Chapter 10: Woah. This chapter was crazy! Not in a bad way. It was full of action packed drama, and all the anxiety and tension you’d expect from this sort of setup. Considering where we left off last chapter, this not only continues the trend of all the chapters interweaving, but it truly is the best chapter of them all. I was blown away. Just wow. 

9/10

Characterization: I could probably ramble on all day about the level of details that went into each character here but I'm going to pick the three I felt the most focus on, and contributed the most to the heart of the story. Each and every character plays a role, even if that role is very small. Applejack gets a few lines in the story, but you can tell it's HER.

Pinkie Pie- We start off the story learning how Pinkie Pie got hurt through the other characters at the cafe, but Pinkie Pie is done very well. She's bubbly, optimistic, and even when she knows she is hurting, she still pulls herself forward because she knows something super important is going to happen. I also liked that she wasn't perfect. Sure, you can seem like you are the most excitable, bouncable character ever, and still be allowed to be sad, and or depressed. I enjoyed this side of Pinkie, it's not something I see done with her that much.

Human Twilight- Human Twilight is clumsy, nerdy, anxious, and very task oriented, but that fits to what we know of her from the movies, and yet applezombi expands on it, makes her flirty, a bit rebellious at times, and even all midnight like with her other side and how it's not a bad thing, but it's just another part of her she has to learn how to control.

Sonata- Like I said, literally she's a blank slate other than her being the "ditzy" ones of the sirens, so applezombi had a lot to work with, in how they wanted her to be, but I found her portayal, believable, interesting, and most of all, it developed a character that was sorta just "there" in Rainbow Rocks and gave her a purpose, and that is all the more reason that this story is enjoyable.

Sunset- Sunset is what you might expect. Confident, strong, anxious, and consumed by her own self doubts at times. While her role in the story isn't as much as the other three above, it's her relationship with human Twilight that makes her truly shine here, and how she is able to help her grow, and help her to forge her own path. Making Sunset the teacher of the relationship between the two. Almost like Celestia was for our Twilight...

10/10

Story/Concept: I've talked about the story in "heart of the story" So I'll keep this part brief. This is an interweaving tale of multiple threads all connecting up to one thing. And that thing I won't say. You need to read the story. :P
9/10

Originality/Execution: I admit I'm not sure how original of an idea this is. I'm sure it's been done in the past, but I don't go out of my way looking for stories like this. Despite that romance tag. I read a lot. So I'm going to focus more on the execution here.

The execution while at times does feel a bit "chunky" with how some of the paragraphs feel long winded and could use with some breaking up, and how there ware just a few typos, the overall execution was great. There are minor things that I just mentioned but other than that, I can't think of any way to make this story better, other than wishing for more.
9/10.

Overall thoughts and feedback:
45/50
9/10

Headpat worthy: YES
Boop worthy:
Needs work:

To the author: Wow. applezombi, I ask you again, why do you think this is bad? I mean there's some minor things but nothing that would make this bad!

To the reader: If you enjoy SOL, and Romance, and well the characters I mentioned, you'll probably enjoy this. Highly recommended.

<For archive purposes: 9/10>

Thank you so much! I'm really happy that you liked it.

C&D was my quarantine project, and something I'd been wanting to write for a long time before I had the very sudden opportunity and way too much time on my hands. And while it's flawed, it's something I'm really proud of.

I was experimenting with some different kinds of narrative with this story, such as the interludes (which were basically just supposed to be like audio recordings) and I'm always just a little bit nervous when trying a new technique to see if it lands. I'm glad to hear that some of them did.

The criticism is helpful too. I often rely too heavily on dialogue, and I really need to remember to have less 'talking head' scenes. Thank you!