EThe Great Donation War

• MLP: FiM
• Equestria Girls
• Comedy
• Random
• Slice of Life

Twilight 'borrows' Sunset's internet router and computer. She then lets her friends use them.

• Human
• Twilight
• Rarity
• Derpy
• Main 6
• Rarity (EqG)

Skijarama · 3.7k words  ·  97  2 · 2k views

During a quick visit to the Human World, Twilight Sparkle 'borrows' Sunset's internet router and computer. She then allows her friends to use them to explore the internet. During Rarity's turn, she discovers Twitch.tv, and the donate button...

Part of our April Fools Day Special Series, with a new review each day leading up to April Fool's Day.

Opening remarks

The Great Donation War by Skijarama is a comedy slice of life fic with a focus on Rarity and her first introduction to the internet. It is part of a greater verse of stories, however, the fic appears to be able to be enjoyed on its own and doesn’t require reading other stories to get up to date. I’m a sucker for a good comedy fic, so I’m looking forward to what this one will bring to the table. 

Note: This story is part of a larger collection of stories, however, this fic will be reviewed based on its own merit without consideration given to the other verse stories. 

Technical

There are a handful of minor issues. An overuse of ellipses that could be better replaced as periods or commas, primarily in the first third of the fic. A few misspellings, minor tense changes from past to present, and a few noticeable run-on sentences.

On a stylistic note, the fic could use some sentence variety. Mostly, just starting some paragraphs off with something other than a character’s name. 

Overall, still very readable, and technically proficient. 

7.5/10

Character

Rarity is the main focus of the fic and is wonderfully funny during her time in the plot. Her competitive generosity is a fun endeavor and the rising action that builds up to the punchline does an exemplary job of highlighting the dramatic side of her personality. 

The supporting cast is also funny in their own ways. Each are the funnier flavours of their canon selves and it works well here as a means to get the reader from the setup to the payoff. 

There isn’t a ton of depth to the characters, but they are enjoyable as they are in the story and do what is necessary in service to the plot.

8/10

Concept

The hook description and opener do a spectacular job of setting the expectations of this fic. It doesn’t hide anything, the story is very much “you get what’s on the tin” and causes the readers to make certain assumptions about how the story will unfold. The key point is how the fic meets those assumptions whole heartedly. 

Ponies being introduced to human world technology isn’t the most original idea, and many of the plot elements that transpire can be seen ahead of time. What is impressive is the execution, how the plot is a fine tuned joke that builds up until the inevitable punchline. 

Though not the most original idea, the actual unfolding of the plot more than makes up for it.

8/10

Vibe

This fic is a textbook example of a comedy fic. It has a setup, a series of increasingly absurd incidents, and finally the punchline. It’s predictable, but follows through in a delightfully enjoyable way with nothing extraneous or unnecessary taking away from the main throughline of the joke.

There is nothing surprising in this fic, most of the twists can be spotted by the reader long before the characters realize it, but the humour comes through in the bombasticness of the delivery and excellent pacing. 

Predictability ends up being the strongest part of the story. The audience ends up being in the know by figuring out the key components, but still end up laughing at the near perfect execution.

On a final note, the dialogue flows fantastically with the character’s speech patterns and mannerisms adding it into the punchline of the story. 

Overall, this fic is an absolute gem of a comedy piece and nails exactly what it sets out to do. Full marks.

10/10

Closing Thoughts

The Great Donation Wat by Skijarama uses an easy to read plot that, though nothing groundbreaking, nails on the delivery of the expected plot elements. It’s a fantastic short comedy with a good number of chuckles to be had. I would give this my full Otter recommendation to read. 

8.3/10

Personal Score

This fic was a really enjoyable read. Loved the ending punchline and really enjoyed the build up to it. Would wholeheartedly recommend anyone to give this one a read. 

8/10