ETwilight’s Backstage Pass

• Equestria Girls
• Adventure
• Slice of Life

Human Twilight takes her Princess Counterpart to the Starswirl Festival for the whole weekend.

• Alt. Universe
• Twilight
• Starlight Glimmer
• Dazzlings
• Sci-Twi
• Main 7 (EqG)

Lonely Fanboy48 · 26k words  ·  24  8 · 1.7k views

Review: Twilight’s Backstage Pass

Tags: Slice of life, Adventure

Summary: Explore the strange of the backstage.

Review: The fiction is pretty interesting.  The grammar however is too bland.  Is it readable yes.  But is it true that the story is exciting?  No.

Chapter 1… looks good and looks correct even the double gap is correct because of the letter.

Chapter 2 is ok until you get the Hidden in the grassy hedge maze.  Which you did the same for chapter the long bizarre time coming as well. And then the friendship stand against the siren leader. 

What's wrong with it?   You paused a character which does not need to be needed unless they are also doing an action.

Say like this for an example… (...  is the pause)

“Twilight I need your help…” but also put her left hoof in her mane and swipe her hair to the left.

Do you get what i mean?  Good i hope so soon.

For the musical intervention chapter.  Looks alright but be easy on the caps. It did well it’s only a few words and not a whole sentence so that is a good thing.

Ps you did the same thing for the reopening of rejoice chapter for the pause effect.

So, this was a big mess to a professional grammar person… and some people will point fingers at you for it.  It’s still a good story I like to congratulate you.

It was just not meant to be… I give this at least a 6/10

adventure and slice of life is a hard write since both of them can't be connected one way or the other... sometimes its good true... but how I see it... it's a big mess between the two... where do I want to go to adventure or slice of life.

I feel like the adventure part centers around The Dazzlings conflicts while the Slice Of Life is similar to the last fanfics. You're right about the two not being connected especially when I wanted to make the story interesting but I could've made it more fleshed out. Nowadays there's no limits involving the chapters I do in my current stories but looking back at my old stories, yeah.

795883

This is a good lesson to be learned you see you're going to improve so much. And I'll be more excited!!!!