ETwilight's life: A race against time

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Drama
• Sad

Twilight gets bitten by a spider when she was doing a task for Zecora, then when she was experiencing the symptoms, she goes to the doctor and learns she has a fatal disease and only a week to live.

• Twilight
• Main 6

Serenity Darkmoon Raven · 8.7k words  ·  8  24 · 553 views

Review: Twilight’s Life: A Race Against Time.

Tags: Dark, Drama, Sad

Summary:  Show it don’t tell it.

Review: The flashbacks…  Where is it? And why?   There could have been potential by saying this many years ago in the winter or fall…. Don’t forget the weather… dialog is ok but you have to write a picture of what it is….   The dark does have its good stuff in there… the drama is alright but it could have done better… the sad just didn’t feel right… I didn’t teardrop my eyes… It wasn’t emotional at all… my gosh… I’ll give you a 5/10 on this one it’s alright decent.  Show it don’t tell it… There is a big difference.