EShade

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Comedy
• Slice of Life

Nightmare Night was tonight, and Ponyville’s residents were busy preparing. Frosty Breeze and Star Dust, two close friends, were helping each other. However, it seemed Nightmare Night would mean something more to the pair.

• OC

Xrevias · 2.5k words  ·  10  0 · 207 views

Shade, the award winner of our Halloween contest is here! Now let's talk about it, the story follows up Star Dust and Frosty Breeze who are both getting ready for nightmare night. They story then goes on to gingerly tell us how the two will pass said night between scares and confessions.

For the casual eyes this story may come out as not really in theme with the horror of Halloween but for those who can see beyond words the truth lays itself bare. For the author maybe the scariest thing is not being afraid of a haunted house but managing to declare the feelings of one's heart to their loved ones and fear of a rejection that's what this story is about and fortunately it is a happy ending.

The story is short but decently fleshed out there aren't a lot of things happening throughout the story but it is somewhat OK for it to be like that for the focus is on the characters feelings and not what happens around them.

Scores!

Core idea: 7/10 love stories are very famous but the idea to mix them with nightmare night is something I honestly never saw. Good job.

Grammar: 8/10 needs some minor adjustment especially because sometimes it gets difficult to understand what is going on exactly.

Pacing: 9,5/10 the whole pacing is genuinely alright but the best thing was how the whole confession was sprung up in my opinion a very well done job!

Total score: 8,2 a very well done job good work

For the author, continue writing and keep on improving yourself you got potential!

Thank you so much for the review and the kind words! I'll be sure to work on my writing, and, with time, hopefully improve

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That's all I ask :D