EThere They Return Again

• MLP: FiM
• Slice of Life

Twilight is writing, trying her hoof at something new, something to break the haze of days blurring past. But is there truly anything new for an immortal?

• Twilight

ChudoJogurt · 1.9k words  ·  33  1 · 916 views

Summary

Twilight has taken the role has mentor, not for the students that she has. But a mentor to the many ponies that follow her path. She has the gift of immortality which includes the curse it brings.

The story is well made with some of the best poetic descriptions I've read. It uses real and hard to face truths and facts about ourselves and it places them nicely.

Funnily enough this story has reminded me of my own poetry from the past. I could not face any problems while reading this. It has a unusual structure and that adds to the feel of it.

Ratings

Because characters are not the main focus this will have different sections then other reviews I have made.

Impact:

7/10

The story does indeed have a good emotional impact, including with the ending being cheerful with a bitter aftertaste. However, with it's poetic structure and extreme use of metaphors these may fly over the head of the reader.

Conflict:

8/10

The conflict is clear cut and symbolic to the readers. However, it is overused it how it is presented with it's consistent telling in the previews that are made to get the readers interested. I suggest dialling it back a bit.

Ability:

10/10

This story takes full advantage of it's unique structure and complies it perfectly with the descriptions and symbolism it contains. With the depth of it's main theme and motif it presents these hard hitting themes with realism and truth.

Feedback

Please remember these are just suggestions based on experience and knowledge of story writing. Thank you.

Unlike most stories I cannot think of any suggestions that would not conflict with the story's style and mood.