EHeartfelt Union

• Equestria Girls
• Romance
• Slice of Life

Years after graduation, Diamond Gleam wants to take his relationship further

• Human
• OC
• Other

TheWingman · 2.2k words  ·  8  2 · 313 views

Summary: Diamond Gleam had long since moved on from his days at Canterlot High School. Having come to terms with his sexuality, he happily lives with his boyfriend under one roof. Yet, simply living with him wouldn't do for him. Thus, Diamond decides to take the next step.

Overall thoughts: The first thing to note is that this is a sequel, and as I haven't read the prequel I have to judge on what is here. It doesn't say it requires reading the prequel to understand what is going on here, and in a sense that is true. But, I personally feel if there is a sequel to any story, you should start at the beginning. Now, it's not the first time I started on a second part of a story rather than the beginning. However, this story feels very average. There is nothing in it that really pulled me into the emotion of it all, and considering what happens in the story, I should be feeling happiness and joy, and yet I just feel meh. I'm like okay, so just another generic romance story with nothing special. No real stakes, You already know the ending going in, and nothing in the story really makes it worth the time. 4/10

Creativity: As I mentioned in my overall thoughts, this story is a romance. We are supposed to root for the couple in question, but there are no stakes, no drama. Just a simple meet up of the two stallions on question after a year of dating that is almost brushed aside, and never really explored. Had this been explored, maybe I'd care more. As is, it's rather dull. 4/10

Grammar: I saw a few misspellings, and a few misplaced commas, but overall nothing that really broke the flow of the story, or really affected the story in a negative way. 8/10

Additional thoughts: I'm a big hopeless romantic, and I feel a story like this really needs to sell the romance to really work. I'm simply left not really caring that much about the ponies in question, and that's a shame, because they seem like they could have been interesting if given more time to spend together rather than let's get married and that's it. The end. 5/10

Overall score: 5/10
Don't let this discourage you, try to take in mind that romance takes time, and show us the time they spend together, and help us care for the couple's union rather than just rushing through the relationship to marriage. -Nailah.