A Rather Large Adventure by BradyBunch
Read: Approximately 50% as of 8/11/18
Verdict: 6/10 (Reject)

Reason:

It isn't often that I'm compelled or even desire to read every single story in an author's catalogue. Time is precious, and like me, every reader must be selective with what authors and what works they read from. That being said, I took it upon myself to review every one of this person's works, and while I may not have passed any one of them as "the best of the best", I've seen enough of this authors works to tell they have all the makings of a successful author.

Even from just perusing the works, one can easily tell just how much love and dedication that's put into crafting each story's protagonists. Firestorm, Freedom Fighter, and Noble each have their own quirks, aspirations, and bonds that make them distinct from one another and breathe life into A Rather Large Adventure's narrative. They're able to play off each others' strengths and compensate for their weaknesses. I'm not a big fan of the concept of original characters settling down in Ponyville with the Elements of Harmony, but this story does enough to integrate them naturally here, so it's hard for me to find fault with that.

There are also a number of comedic moments in the narrative that are executed well. I remember vividly the moment Firestorm stopped the entire party during a rescue mission to save Twilight from some dastardly foes so he could use a restrooms. He proceeded to purposefully interject himself into Twilight's and Noble's conversation with obnoxious noises. The fact that they were in the midst of all the fighting added onto the sheer absurdity of the situation.

The only drawbacks I've found so far come in the form of the characters' antithesis, or lack thereof, that challenge their views. We get some of that in the form of Rainbow Dash in the middle act, but there wasn't enough substance beyond that to fuel the development of most of the characters, particularly the OCs, the story focused on. So far as I've read, they haven't incurred any scenario where they've had to change their perspective in order to 'save the day' so to speak.

Bear in mind that this critique doesn't come because it doesn't happen soon enough, for there is still plenty of narration left to make it null in void on its own, but the few examples of development I've seen thus far don't cast high hopes that whatever development they have will be entirely satisfactory.

There are three areas of interest I wish to discuss in order to ground my thoughts. The first is Noble's confrontation of Rarity about Firestorm's behavior. The conversation does help develop Rarity as an individual, thanks to his status in her eyes. This scene feels like it cheats Firestorm the chance to prove her wrong with his own actions, and thus shunts his development. Her mindset provides the perfect antithesis (or the direct converse) of him, which just doesn't make his character shine as much as it could when Noble is able to erase his problems from behind the scenes. Perhaps this is to show how much of a clutch Noble is for Firestorm, but that's not the message I received.

Furthermore, people historically don't change their viewpoints solely on word. I can easily buy her realizing her momentary weakness with asking a stallion to move so that she and Noble could sit together to watch an event together; she has past experiences in her own life to draw upon to make her realize how she was in the wrong. It's a little bit harder for me to believe her overcoming her differences with Firestorm on word alone simply has nothing to draw on about him other than what she's seen.

Noble's confrontation with Rainbow Dash develops a similar issue, but I think I know where it's going with this. Noble is supposed to be this individual everyone can rely upon. He's the pinnacle of justice, so when there's strife with the party, he needs to be there to resolve it. I feel like we can get that without seeming to purge all the damage Firestorm's performance did to her emotions. I think she can begin to make a recovery here, and then have her develop a bond with Firestorm later. There were hints of romantic attractions to him that would benefit from them directly resolving the damage.

The final area of interest is with the story's antagonist, Malice. In the twelve or so chapters that his organization dominated the plot of the story, there was a ton of detail put into the scenery of their hideout. I didn't feel, however, that his character had been given the same love as the protagonists. I really couldn't tell you much about him other than 'he's evil' and 'he needs a Princess'. As a rule of thumb, a main villain needs to be the antithesis of all the major protagonists of the story, but I wasn't seeing it because he felt underdeveloped. There were some cool moments in their conflict, but it was just padding without that meat.

I sincerely hope this has been at least somewhat helpful, or that you can take my critiques with a grain of salt. There is a lotto love about this story that warrants a recommendation from me despite my rejection. The characters are loveable and it can be a blast to be alongside them for the ride. This remains my favorite work from this author, and I fully plan on continuing to read it to completion.

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This really means a lot to me. I know that it can be really hard to get approval for this particular group, and six out of ten looks bad, but regardless, I love what you have to say in terms of analyzation...or however you say that word. It's great that you love this, and I would love to see what you have to say later on.

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The thing some people may not realize that a 6/10 isn't a bad score here. It's a perfectly acceptable scoring to me, and as history has shown itself with us in the past, should mean that it will please the typical audience you've drawn in. It's not until we see the 3-4 range where we think there's an overhaul needed.

As for what I had to say, sounds like you enjoyed the review. I'm glad, for that means I gave your story its due credit. It's always hard for a reviewer to reject a story they like, but that'd be a biased review, which I don't think you want. Course, I've passed stories I didn't personally like as well because I saw where they were going with it and how well they executed it. So that flip side does happen.

I will be sure to tell you my thoughts on the story as I read it.