Quizzical Greystone has just come to Ponyville as an assistant in Friendship Research. Such a socially inept filly might not be the best pony for the job. But this just might be the job she needs. If you can't make friends in Ponyville can you make friends anywhere?
Grammar
An occurrence that appeared was with question marks - there are a few lines where characters spoke; either there was no opening mark or closing mark. It was quiet confusing because I couldn't always tell when a character was speaking, especially when the text randomly switches from third person to second and vice versa.
Other than that, a few sentences were difficult to get my head around or completely confusing.
Overall, it was quiet clean and decent. Though the problems listed above pulled my attention away from the story, it was only for a short time and not very common.
Originality/Idea
Currently, the premise of a writer's OC being the student of one of the princesses and sent to Ponyville to "make friends" can be classed as cliche. Although here, considering it was written all the way back in 2012, I suppose there could be an exception (maybe, I haven't been a Brony for that long and am going off my experience with the fandom) - but I'm not really concerned about that.
Writing
Continuing from the previous section, the way JMac went about with carrying this story was done it a very great way and it was one of the main reasons I really enjoyed it. The additional structure and pace was a big aid too; each sentence was simple and to the point but in a good way. Descriptions did not drone on in massive, boring walls of text like the writing style could if not handled well. For that, I applaud you: well done !
Conclusion
This story was defiantly worth the read; I really enjoyed it and the comedy aspects were really good. I recommend this review, and placed it in my 'Favourites' and this groups 'Great Reads'.
Quizzical
General Summery
Quizzical Greystone has just come to Ponyville as an assistant in Friendship Research. Such a socially inept filly might not be the best pony for the job. But this just might be the job she needs. If you can't make friends in Ponyville can you make friends anywhere?
Grammar
An occurrence that appeared was with question marks - there are a few lines where characters spoke; either there was no opening mark or closing mark. It was quiet confusing because I couldn't always tell when a character was speaking, especially when the text randomly switches from third person to second and vice versa.
Other than that, a few sentences were difficult to get my head around or completely confusing.
Overall, it was quiet clean and decent. Though the problems listed above pulled my attention away from the story, it was only for a short time and not very common.
Originality/Idea
Currently, the premise of a writer's OC being the student of one of the princesses and sent to Ponyville to "make friends" can be classed as cliche. Although here, considering it was written all the way back in 2012, I suppose there could be an exception (maybe, I haven't been a Brony for that long and am going off my experience with the fandom) - but I'm not really concerned about that.
Writing
Continuing from the previous section, the way JMac went about with carrying this story was done it a very great way and it was one of the main reasons I really enjoyed it. The additional structure and pace was a big aid too; each sentence was simple and to the point but in a good way. Descriptions did not drone on in massive, boring walls of text like the writing style could if not handled well. For that, I applaud you: well done !
Conclusion
This story was defiantly worth the read; I really enjoyed it and the comedy aspects were really good. I recommend this review, and placed it in my 'Favourites' and this groups 'Great Reads'.
5446702
I think you should grade the story in the story's comments so that the author could see it.
5446743
I will. Am I not meant to write a review in ''Fourm''? Sorry - if not, I'll take it down.
Just let you know, I linked the review in the comments.
Edit: Graded.
5446747
You can leave it up, it's just that I meant when you grade a story you should do it in the comments section.
5447001
Okay.