But I guess this group is here for a reason. I'm not looking for pity, I just want your opinions on what I should do. If you go look at my recent blog post, it tells a lot of different things I'm not good at. It also describes what I want to do, but no one has suggested an idea that I could work with and I don't care enough myself to come up with my own.

My predicament is I laugh, joke and play so much that no one knows when I'm being serious because usually I'm not. So when a problem arises, such as my damn near crippling insomnia and people cheat against me at work and I can't find the drive to do school work that I pay thousands to do...what then? I've talked to a doctor, I've gotten meds before but my immune system so easily dampens the effects that if I miss one day on the drug, its usefulness is over. No sleeping meds I've tried, natural or other, have worked. I'll be awake for anywhere from 18-25 hours, go to work go to school, come home and repeat.

This problem is worsening and faster than I initially imagined. I nearly fell out 3 times at work tonight. But now I'm back home and wide awake. No electronics are not depriving me, I've been lying in this bed for nearly and hour before I decided to type this wall.

So go take a look at that blog, and tell me what you think I should so. Whether it's safe or dangerous, hard or easy, high or low pay. What should I do?

I wish I knew what to say. I just wanted to let you know that I sympathize with what's happening to you. All I can say is, reach out and try to find a good doctor. It might be the best bet. I know you said you tried before, but I know from experience that not all doctors are created equal. I've changed doctors a few times trying to find a good response. It can be tough, but it's all a process.

That's what I would try...

*hugs* hey bro
I'm sorry to see you here.
You know I taw you seriously right? I care about your problems, I just... You brush it off a lot and joke and laugh and I assume you're doing okay.
I was serious when I said if ya needed me to wake me up in the middle of the night by spamming me (my notifications are almost always on) go right on ahead, I'm always here if you need someone to talk it out with.
For the school work issue. As I've dealt with that kind of thing, is just to suck it up and not let yourself do anything until you do it, use that mind of yours and force yourself to do it. Don't say you can't, fuck can't, grab it by the boobs and make it your bitch.
Insomnia is..
Difficult to combat.
I always would suggest trying sleeping techniques, they helped me a lot when I needed them.
Works something like this. Though they're more for calming an overactive mind. Meditation might help you too.
Anyways
1. Get comfy. Don't move, at all, once you got your position down.
2. You need to want to sleep, if you're being insomniac.
3. focus on setting a slow, steady rythm with your breathing, 'in, out, in, out' as you breath, either concentrate on just repeating the words in your head to the exclusion of all else or slowing your breathing to what it would be if you were asleep.
4. Form a mental image of sinking slowly into dirt, the ground, water, the ocean, quicksand, whatever, just slowly sinking from resting on it to deep beneath the surface, if you're doing it right you should start to relax, helps for me if I imagine sinking in waves, as in feeling a small jump of depth happen.
5. Make your brain continue to concentrate on the repeated words or the breathing, and the sinking sensation, at this point if you find something uncomfortable you may shift, but make sure you don't move too much or you will lose concentration.
The key is to relax.
AND MAKE SURE YOU DON'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING AT ALL. Force yourself to focus on the breathing ritual or the repeated words, or should you have the capability, nothing/the void/blackness.
Should take between 5 mins to a half hour to knock you out, depending on how worked up you are, though if you don't force yourself to stop believing it won't work that's a distraction.
Err. Believe and it will work, #psuedo (it actually works...) But don't concentrate on that, ignore it.
You have to believe you can pull it off though, some nights it might take up to an hour but it you keep concentrating and relaxing it'll eventually work.

Don't know what to say to everything else, I'm sorry

5485530

I don't know what to say. I'm sorry, all I can give you is my condolences

5489585 I appreciate you at least taking the time to comment, thanks
5485611
5485670
Thanks for the feedback guys...actively working things out

5489612

Of course. I wish I could have done more for you.