Good morning, everyone; my name is GreatTeacherBumblebottom, and I’m sure we’ll all have great fun as part of The Best Authors! Today, we will be studying a lovely little story about three lovely little ponies…

Now, when you look at Ménage à - Quoi?! the first thing that catches your eye is its cover art, and that’s definitely a good thing, my little ponies. In fact, let’s make that my first Teacher’s Tip!

TEACHER’S TIP: You should always give your story good cover art; its the only way it will be seen.

I know I’m repeating myself, little ones, but I cannot make this clear enough: a good picture on the front of your story will make it easier for ponies to see if they want to read it.

If that sounds like judging a book by its cover, that’s because it is.

But! That’s a problem with the silly ponies who would get turned off by such a lovely picture as the cover of Ménage à - Quoi?!. And it really is a lovely picture, it must be said; so lovely, in fact, that it has already been used by Love's Derelictions and If you end up sandwiched between your sexy wife and her sexy changeling lover every night, do you buy a bigger bed or your own?! That just shows what a great judge of artistry and quality that Noir de Plume is, because it is only the best and most worthy art that becomes popular: just look at Michael Bay’s career, or Plan Nine from Outer Space!

Actually, maybe don’t look at that; I wouldn’t want to be the one who told you to look at things that are so… so…

Stupid. Oh… wait, I shouldn’t be that harsh...

Speaking of younger foals, as nice as I find Ménage à - Quoi?!, I couldn’t actually show this to my current students. I mean, it’s got a warm, comfortable atmosphere, with characters who really, truly love each other cuddling together on wide, soft bed followed by them having good natured banter with each other, and I know just how much foals love to snuggle. But you older ponies will be able to tell that this story is really about the aftermath of a special hug between three ponies.

Yes, three ponies, though that really shouldn’t be too much of a surprise; after all, I did tell you to look really hard at that cover. My favourite part of Ménage à - Quoi?! is how the relationship between these three is handled within the story, and what the story itself focusses on about it. Take this little snippet, for example.

The Changeling Queen lay sprawled like a frog on a dissection table, nestled so close to him he could feel the beating of her heart. Her mouth lay open in a morbid display of vampiric dentistry. At his right, Cadance snuggled closer. Shining swallowed a lump.

In fact, let’s have another one of my Teacher’s Tips!

TEACHER’S TIP: Deeply analysing a story makes you look really clever!

The descriptions are short--and this matches the short length that lets the dialogue shine--but still let us get deep into the mind of the main character, Shining Armour. He wakes up next to someone he doesn’t expect, and the story focusses on her alien qualities. It makes you think of something cold and wet and slimy about to be hurt very badly in a harsh, unfamiliar setting, and that’s quite frightening. At the same time, he feels her heart beating against his chest. This could either mean that he remembers that she’s a living, breathing pony just like him, or it could be a sign of him remembering that it should be somepony he loves who he should be doing that with. Even my students know that. Then we get a description of her teeth, which are actually capable of causing serious damage, like Chrysalis did the last time they met when she tried to take over Canterlot and put his lovely wife to sleep. Because so much time is spent describing Chrysalis, it makes us think that this is a big problem, and it makes us also think that Shining Armour has spent a long time just staring at her. Cadance then snuggles against him. It’s a warm, close word and the action itself is a small but clear reminder of their bond. And its this bond that feeds both Shining Armour’s horror and what he does next; he doesn’t just gulp, he swallows a lump. His first thoughts upon waking earlier in the scene concerned his wife, and in this we get a sense of how truly terrible he feels for betraying her trust and also of his terror for how she will react.

It’s subtle, and that’s what makes it clever!

But, above that, having short but punchy narration is great for keeping the pace up in such a short story, while still keeping the readers invested in the characters. Time for another Tip!

TEACHER’S TIP: Make your readers as deeply invested into your characters as I am into my students’ developments!

It’s difficult to talk much about the rest of this story without spoiling the twist. And it’s a good twist, so...

Shining Armour does his best to hide Chrysalis from Cadance as the pair slowly wake up properly. In most stories, this would come across as a sign of a dishonest, cheating scumbag trying to mislead his adoring wife, but here we get little snippets of the arguments going on in his mind. We see just how badly he wants to dispose of the evidence of what he did wrong, while at the same time there’s this

"You, ah, you know me, eager to please, haha," he said, hoping the smile he plastered on his face was passable for a pleasant expression and not the mockery of emotion his brain was telling him it indeed was.

which implies that he himself knows that the facade won’t last long. All the while this is going on, Shining Armour is a truly dutiful and loving husband, patiently tending to whatever his wife wants, just like mine did. Again, this could have come across as him covering his tracks, but there’s a sincerity to his comments that makes you believe him. Just like I did with mine...

That, and the fact that Cadance is just melting into his hooves, and makes it clear that when they spent the night before hugging and cuddling, he was focussed on making sure that she was happy most of all. What a lovely stallion.... It’s little stuff like this that makes you think less of a cheating, lying… remorseless… scoundrel... and more of a loving but very sorry stallion stumbling to try and make things right.

Like I wish mine did….

TEACHER’S TIP: Honesty is underrated in a special somepony, and good little foals know not to spread rumours…

And then we find out just why Chrysalis was in their marital bed to begin with, and again what I like about this story is what is focused on in the characters’ dialogue.

"Chryssie, I can't thank you enough for indulging me. So glad we could clear up that misunderstanding from the wedding in time for this," Cadance replied with a smile. Shining felt his jaw drop. The Changeling Queen laughed sweetly and returned his wife's smile.

"Water under the bridge, my dear," she said pleasantly, waving a hoof. "And you, you stallion... put 'er there!" She held up her foreleg for a hoof bump. Baffled, Shining obliged. Chrysalis winked. "We really did show her a good time, didn't we?"

"Uh..."

"Your form was simple enough, but your style? There were moments where I just had to watch. Bravo, my dearest," she complimented, clapping her hooves. "Such technique. I hope I emulated it passably enough."

"Oh Chryssie, I could hardly tell between you two! It was magnificent!" Cadance giggled.

They don’t talk about how squiggly and giddy they felt. Instead, it’s implied that it was all about the connection they felt to each other and how comforting it was. While clearing up why a bug-pony who tried to end her is allowed to be anywhere near her, Cadance speaks of being truly satisfied. Chrysalis’ actions are also quite nice: she didn’t want to intrude on their relationship, or push herself into it; she used her abilities to please this couple while respecting their bond, trying to live up to Shining’s example. A worse story would have just focussed on the special hug itself or talking about the dirty details of it, but in Ménage à - Quoi?! it’s treated as a means to the end of spreading the love between two or three ponies.

And to top it all off, Chrysalis heads home to share her well-earned love with her people; not only is the love between Shining Armour and Cadance an adorable thing in and of itself, but it’s also helping to soothe diplomatic tensions and rebuild bridges between two former, bitter enemies!

Okay, I’m probably reading too much into it.

TEACHER’S TIP: Reading too much into things is always good! Really, really good! And it means that you are a good reviewer!

Ménage à - Quoi?! is a short, rather fluffy story about a misunderstanding and how funny that is, but if it were just that it wouldn’t leave me feeling as warm as when I wake up to see my students; it’s a nice experience on top of that, and it feels like a small glimpse into a bigger, wider world.

How about another…

TEACHER’S TIP: A good story will always feel like it’s part of a bigger one. That way, you can always make sequels out of it; everyone loves sequels!

In fact, if I were to say that there’s something bad about Ménage à - Quoi?!, it’s that it kind of, sort of glorifies adultery. I mean, it doesn’t really do that, because adultery is something done only by mean, nasty, heartless SCUM who go around behind the backs of their lovely husbands and wives and leave them feeling cold and alone and wondering what they did wrong and why they didn’t love them any more.

TWINKLE TOES, YOU FILTHY, DISGUSTING, LOATHSOME, CO--

Umm… No, wait... it… it doesn’t really glorify that, because the three ponies doing all the special hugging know about it, and they understand what they’re doing like when my students come to my house for biology lessons. But it kind of gives the idea that all adultery is done like this, and it really, REALLY isn’t.

That little issue aside, Ménage à - Quoi?! is a lovely story. It spent a lot of time in the feature box, and rightfully so! Everyone should read this story! In fact, even though I couldn’t let my students read it, I’ve gone and helped them to re-enact it! I should probably get going right away. Hmm… let me see: lullaby music, duct tape, tissues, baby powder, vaseline… am I forgetting anything? Ohhh, so much to dooo~!

4131562 I think I've found my personal favorite reviewer from this band of misfits thus far. I adore the style. I am honestly looking forward to seeing more, even if that means having to second-hand look at more crap that even I wouldn't want to review, at least to get to hear more from Bumblebottom. What a charming lady. I... think she's a lady.

As for the story, I do have my own thoughts on it, and nearly went with it as my first target, but... Paths separated in the end. Perhaps for the better. I think the less I imply mass sterelization and mandatory sensory deprivation for whoever propelled this sort of exploitative crap to the featured list, the better. I need to save the nihilism for the actual reviews. But regardless, you're doing a great job.