Hey there, authors! Dark Avenger here, bringing to you the first ever review by The Best Authors.

Shutdown is a comedy horror fanfic made by a brony a long Long time ago. I don’t think you know because you prolly werent around back then….. but this story came out waaaaay before any of the other ones. I think mayBe even before the show itself came out… but i dont know that for sure. All that matters is, they said it was so good... pretty much nothing nearly as good ever got made after it. And everything that was kinda good was just a ripoff, because they all looked the same as this story, but with different stuff in it.

This story got so popular, I think even the writers of the show said they read it all the time. It inspired a few episodes, like “Fall Weather Friends,” “No Russian,” and “Interstellar”. Some of them once said they aren’t aloud to read fanfics, or else they go to jail, but this story is so goOOD that they didnt care..

"What is going on?" Twilight suddenly demanded, setting the cup of cocoa down hard enough that it left a smattering of chocolate across a nearby scroll.

Carrot instinctively reached to rub at the spots, then stopped herself and looked up at the telescope overhead, then around at the books, the windows, the artistic flourishes carved into so many surfaces... then back at Twilight. "It's all going to go away, Twilight. I-" Carrot's voice cracked, and she swallowed before continuing, eyes shut tight. "I never got permission, and they're taking you all away."

PROTIP: No story is good unless you have enough details in it that they make you fall asleep halfway through a sentence.

But I don’t really care either, because… guess what? this story is actually a ripoff. You see, its got ponys in it who arent actually ponies, and the ponies that are ponies are just thingies made in a computer so we can watch them on TV. Sound familiar? That’s right: this is a ripoff of “The End of an Era”

The story of Shitdown is that, um... Twilight and Broccoli Head are talking about stuff, and everypony is actually a robot… No, wait! Everypony is actually a computer game. They have really bad AI that keeps running into walls, and… they only run on Windows 8, so if you dont have it, you can’t actually read this story. But thats okay, since if you dont have Windows 8, you’re a scrub.

point is, theyre all gonna diE because Brussel Sprout wants to start a new map, cause every pony else is busy camping for the whole match, so now she’s deleting it all. She also has admin commands, and she keeps screwing with the gravity setting, and her friends are actually all guys who roleplay as female ponies. I’ve heard people say this is a metaphor for how the show relates to the fans, but I think their all just nerds who got too much time to read all day.

So you can see now, Shuriken is bad as a comedy, it never goes dark, the lights are always on, and it doesnt even steal ideas without geting away with it. Its the same exact story as “End of a Sarah”, and its just as dumb, except its even more boring and not funny.

Let me tell you what else is wrong… What the hell is up with that cover art? i mean, whats with the green guy? humans arent green you know, not unless they have some serious skin cancer… or if they’re in some gay festival with body paint… Oh, and that pose! They actually had the nerve to ripoff the pic about the veterans from the war on korea!

And I’m not sure why the story has to be so hard to follow. Like, Fallout: Equestria at least had an easy plot, and less characters, and it had way more action than all this boring art crap, plus it took way longer to finish it... so you actually had more fun for longer. Maybe we should just write more stories like that, because this one just isnt good. If I want a story that has bronies wanting to be ponies, id rather just pick it up and throw it in a garbage can, because you shouldn’t read stuff like that. All stories should be aBout war and magic and action and lots of bLOod and sex.

She stepped over to place her hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Just because you're inside a... a dream, doesn't mean we don't all consider you our friends."
"How do I know this isn't just a dream? That I'm not going to wake up in ten seconds, and forget about it ten minutes later?" Twilight looked into Carrot's eyes, tears forming. "How do I know if anything is a dream? Or real? Is anything I know true?"

PROTIP: Just because not even “The Matrix” was the one to do it first, you should still be sure to revisit the same idea over and over again.

The grammar in this story is kinda okay. It reminds me of how i used to rite in sixth grade, but because my teacher was a scrub he kept giving me bad grades and detention. I wrote a lot of good fics in there, but then I had to throw them away because there was no internet where I could show them and ask for donations…

the guy who wrote this clearly knows what hes doing, even if he’s bad at it. He doesnt use lots of really long words, because he knows stories with difficult language are… just a waste of fucking time. But on second thought, he doesn’t really know anything because the main characters are background pones. who the hell cares about those guys? I only read stories that are about characters I already know and read about. if I want boring-ass side characters, I’ll just watch all the episodes about Spike.

i also like how everything else that’s not boring plot just makes perfect sense. You know how like, when you turn off a program, and if you could then crawl into your computer and find that program, you’d be like a ghost and pass through things. thats how it works. It also shows that if you try stuff like make something in school, and its a cool project and might help the whole world, they’re only gonna hold you down, because... cause The Man just doesnt let shit like that happen...

Lyra stomped a hoof. "I still can't believe that they would just turn them all off like this!"

Bon Bon stepped over to rest her cheek on Lyra's shoulder. "I know."

Carrot Top shook her head. "They have no rights. The fact that they're based on cartoon characters made it even harder to convince the dean to keep them going. In the eyes of most people they're just a bunch of files." Lyra's mouth opened, but Carrot spoke over her. "And if we tried to make copies of those files we'd be guaranteeing that police and lawyers would get involved."

PROTIP: I once invented a cure for cancer in my college. The cops broke two of my ribs and sent me into rehab.

Overall, i think Shuddup is boring, theres no action in it, nopony explodes or fights with magic, and it rips off “Inception” and that weird future story in “Assassin’s Creed”. Even the story doesnt want you to like it, because the ending tries to be super sad by killing all the ponys. This is actually really deep, you know. the author is telling you that Its about time you stopped reading and deleted this story… from your computer... because maybe he thinks youre in your computer as you read this?

Well, maybe if you like reading about virtual simulation computer nerd stuff, you can actually like this fic, but id say you can have more fun reading about actual exciting stuff. Like guns. or maybe space. Changelings are nice too, if you like bugs… in fact, if youre not a nerd, you’ll like pretty much anything except this story…

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Image broke, there.

I'm also on steam.

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fix'd

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Damn. What did you do that this was your penance?