A Body for Two by Daxn
10,408 words
Tags: Gore, Dark, Human

Grammar: 6/10
This story isn't too terrible in terms of grammar for the first two chapters or so, but it gets progressively worse as it goes on. It's readable, but frequent spelling and basic grammar issues plague the story.
Characterization: 4/10
Now, Diamond Tiara isn't a very fleshed out character to begin with, but this story manages to do even less with her than the show. This Diamond Tiara is shallow, whiny, and about as sympathetic as her show counterpart. Luisa isn't much better. There's basically no characterization about him other than him being stuck in DT's body and not liking it. The only other significant character just pops up out of nowhere, and serves no useful purpose to furthering the story.
Use of Canon: 7/10
If I didn't know better, I'd say that this story was written off of DT's wiki page without the author watching an episode about her. All that comes off about her is her snootiness and her dislike of the CMC, when the show offers so much more to work with in terms of her character. A story like this should build on the characters, not flanderize them.
Use of OCs: 4/10
See Characterization. Also, the OC adds extremely convoluted and confusing complication to the plot, in the form of some kind of heaven/hell issue from about halfway on I could barely make sense of.
Consistency: 2/10
This story started going without any hands on the steering wheel. It at first seems like a story about Diamond Tiara dealing with a human stuck in her body, but even that fluctuates in how it actually works. Then consistency goes right down the drain after Chapter 3. Th ending is tacked on, the plot doesn't make any sense, and just leaves the reader with a massive headache.
Coherence: 5/10
This story starts out reasonably nice, with a plot that would make for a nice comedy piece or HiE. However, this takes the whole thing to seriously, and just goes to hell in Chapter 4 with the appearance of Luisa's relative (I think brother, but its hard to make out.) It just becomes convoluted and disturbing towards the end. I was half-tempted to give up reading it just because of how little it made sense to me.
Tags: 4/10
The human part is necessary to the concept, but is handled poorly. as for the adventure, if it was there, it got lost in the confusion. The ending suggests it was supposed to be one, but if there was, the sections missing and the tag should be removed.
Handling of Religion: 0/5
Now, there's a whole formula delegated to this, but I'm not bothering with it. However, the religious aspect added in Chapter 4 sends the story in all directions. It wholly ruins the concept, complicates the plot, and is the only reason a gore tag is even needed. The additions detract from the story, to the point I was considering giving it negative points. I'm feeling merciful.
Handling of Gore: 3/5
The story could make just as much sense without the gory parts, but it's not handled terribly.

Final Score: 35/70 50% REJECTED

Notes: I'm sorry, but this story is just awful. This looked promising, but fails to deliver what it seems to package. The appearance of Filiberto just makes the story sound like a horrible justification for writing about extremist religion. Do not click that link, or at least bring some brain bleach.

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The appearance of Filiberto just makes the story sound like a horrible justification for writing about extremist religion.

Which kind of was, as it was written according to strictire interpretations of the religion.

Admittedly I didn't actually plan all that much the religion part, aside from the above, I just kind of went on and wrote it. As for the chaacterization, the idea was to flesh it out slowly... thought, judging from your review, it went way too slow.

and just goes to hell in Chapter 4 with the appearance of Luisa's relative (I think brother, but its hard to make out.)

You seem to have missed/skipped the very last part of the third chapter, as it explicitly says that Filiberto is Luisa's cousin.