For reasons of personal standards, I cannot and will not write a clopfic. Unfortunately, this idea that came to me all of a sudden has amazing story potential. The idea is pretty much this:

Pinkie Pie and Pokey Pierce have been together for a few years and are engaged to marry. Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie suddenly gains the impulse of wanting to have a foal of her own, which was fueled by the fact that the Cakes have twins of their own. The thing is this: she doesn't know how foals are formed. All she knows is 'When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much, a foal happens'. She brings this idea (involving the funds saved up for any sort of emergency for the foal) to Pokey Pierce, who suddenly chokes up at the mention of her request. He tries to explain to her how foals are formed, but Pinkie Pie gets bored and she just asks him to demonstrate instead, giving Pokey Pierce the coldest feet ever. He's a virgin himself and doesn't feel confident about being able to satisfy his innocent mare in bed. Yet, seeing the puppy face on Pinkie Pie, he soldiers himself to accept.

So basically, Pokey Pierce teaches Pinkie Pie about how foals are conceived through a more... physical approach involving arousal and sex.

I, in no way would ever write a clopfic, but the potential that this idea has is too good to not solely die in my imagination. It has to be posted to see if anyone is willing to take that idea to write out. It would have Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie (random and impulsive, yet innocent about the entire situation) and a stallion who confronts his own confidence issues in order to make his fiancee and himself happy as a nearly-wed couple. If you need me, I have a special circle in Inferno reserved for me that I have to go to for posting this idea.

3493370 Dude, this is quite possibly the most vanilla idea for a clopfic I have ever heard. You might be going to the second, maybe third circle, but nowhere near the depths most of us are headed.

3493375

I'm still going into a circle of inferno for sharing this because why did I even come up with this idea?

3493383
Because stories are meant to make us think - not just the readers, but the author as well. Maybe you should write this, if only to find out why the idea occurred to you in the first place.

Also, this story sounds adorable. I don't know if I like the idea of an adult Pinkie with a child's understanding of adult matters, but it's adorable all the same.

3493546

It's understandable for Pinkie to be naive when it comes to a situation like sex. She may know more than what other characters peg her for, but it doesn't mean that she would bother herself with knowing what some adult topics are unless if it is instantaneously urgent for her to need to know them.

As interesting as writing it out may be, I would feel very uncomfortable with writing any sort of clop, even if it happens to be the most tame clop possible.

3493605
Well, I can understand that. I'm the same way. Hay, it took me a solid year to get from 'okay, what the hay was that, I just startled myself awake with a three-second-long pony secks dream' to 'okay, maybe I'm kinda interested in this side of the fandom after all'. I still can't write clop-for-clop's-sake, but I've learned not to shy away from telling the story that demands to be told; if the situation calls for Super Grownup Funtime Shenanigans, like in my latest story, then so be it. I'll write it... or try to, haha.

For me, the issue might just be that I don't want to be That Mare, you know? I don't want to be a cheap whore who writes porn to bait the feature box. I don't want to be known for sex scenes. I want to be known for the stories I've written that have won contests, changed lives, entered Twilight's Library... Is that what's stopping you, or is it more of a moral stance against clop?

In spite of everything I just said, I do intend to write a clopfic someday. Why? Because I think I can't. I don't take kindly to that word. If I think I can't do something, well, I'm going to prove myself wrong!

3493721

It's actually a bit more of a moral ambiguity of my stance on clop. I am fine with occasionally reading clop from time to time, but writing one is an entirely different beast. As an author, I have to paint my thoughts and feelings into each and every action of the story, as if I was inside of it. For a clopfic, this essentially boils down to reaching into the depths of my mind and putting as many dirty thoughts into a fic as I can, which is something that honestly makes me feel sick just thinking about.

I just want to be known as the author that writes about sweet, fun and emotional moments in addition to making crossovers with Nintendo franchises.

3493763
Then don't write porn; write erotica. Not all clopfics are like the smut that bombards us in the feature box. I think this prompt would be a good one for those who focus not on the physical act but the emotions of the characters, the passion, the joy... the tenderness of an act not depraved, but loving and intimate. Sure, it could be porn, or it could be sweet, fun and emotional. If you feel that the story deserves to be written, then I'm sure you'll find a way to do it justice. The only one who can make that decision, though, is you.

Well, I'm gonna hit the hay. Best of luck with your conundrum, Zero.

3493778

Thank you for your words. I may actually write it, but if I do, then I will most likely need some help with it.

3493787
I'd be happy to help you however I can, but maybe you'll surprise yourself if you give it a shot. You never know just how easy a story will be to write until you give it a chance.

Okay, now I'm gonna hit the hay.

3493605
By default, Pinkie is childish and immature, but I typically like seeing this turned on it's head. I like seeing Pinkie as "not as stupid as everyone thinks she is." But then again, I can very well go with a characterization that falls right along with her surface traits. I guess what I'm trying to say, is that it could go either way with me.

I'm not even remotely interested in clop, but I am interested in messing around with sexual themes. Right off the top of my head, I remember a t-rated story arc where Pinkie was having trouble in that area. The subject matter holds a lot of potential for humor, and emotion.

It's natural that a writer would start thinking about these sorts of things. We start thinking of them as real people, with real people problems. It doesn't take much for a thought to enter one's head, and for imagination to run amok from there.

3493867

It would actually be funny since Pinkie Pie would be ridiculously prepared for everything that is needed to have a foal of her own... without the knowledge of conceiving one. It's those little things that not only make Pinkie Pie act like Pinkie Pie, but also gives a good spin on her overall traits of doing things on impulse.

You know, the more I post, the more comfortable I am with writing the idea.

3493885
I think I would rather read something like that with someone who's a little uncomfortable with it.

In any case, I recently wrote a part of a chapter where Pinkie wakes up and goes to see if Pound and Pumpkin are awake. When she sees that they are now, she notes how cute they are sleeping, and tucks them in. I wanted to emphasize that part of her character, the part that's good with children. I gravitate towards romance, but I like to see freindshiping and other interpersonal relationships, as well.

3493942

Pinkie Pie has always been great around children. It's probably a reason why I think that depiction I would present her in would fit perfectly.

3493370
I think I saw this plot once in every bad porn movie ever.

Buuut, even so, people would enjoy it. And if you would enjoy writing it, or want to, you should.

I don't see a moral aspect to clop. At all. You mentioned it makes you ill, but I'm not sure why it should. Immorality is harm. Writing a clopfic harms nobody. And will likely make the day of the people who read it better. There is literally nothing there for you to feel bad about.

Nor is erotic fiction at all inherently inferior. And making someone feel desire is not any different from making someone feel sad, or pumped up, or enchanted. You set out to create an emotional reaction, and if you do your job right, you do so. Story successful!

3493375
I love you.

3495169

I wouldn't know if it harms me if I didn't try it, but I would probably get a heart attack if I wrote the actual act itself.

3495182
An anime nosebleed maybe.

You'd survive. It's actually quite fun, once you drop the baggage and realize that it's okay to write just for fun.

Writing is a hobby. A pastime. You should enjoy it. It doesn't have to be all about cutting your wrists and letting your soul bleed out over the paper.

Human sexuality is absurd and over-the-top and downright hilarious. People get so serious about something that is so laughably silly when it really should just be enjoyed. Pinkie Pie is the pretty, preposterous, party-planning poster pony for that particularly pleasantly perverse point of perspective. It would probably be especially good for you on the 'just setting down the useless sack of repression-bricks' angle.

3495184

...Dat alliteration. Dang it! Now I have to write it Well, when it does come to me, I'm going to need to find a female's perspective on how sex would feel like for her. That way, I would know how I would approach the clop itself.

3495188
The internet is for porn, I hear.
Do some research, that's fun too.

Or just wing it. Most people don't know any more than you about the differences in sexuality between genders. If you make it sound plausible, no questions will be asked, any more than if you described how it feels to get stabbed, when you certainly haven't be stabbed.

3495188
There are some differences here and there but it's not as dissimilar as you'd expect it to be. While males are often more excited by the physical aspects of sex, females are more stimulated by the mental aspects - the mood, the motivation, things like that. Aside from that, it's just a matter of different physical responses and different body parts.

Well, I say "just" but nothing's ever that simple, is it?

3495742

That's interesting, but makes alot of sense. Females have always been more about the mental aspect than males are and males are more for their physical aspect. I think I might have cast aside the throes of my restriction at last. Ideas with potential shouldn't die because I let them, and PokeyPie is one of my favorite ships within the fandom. Besides, I should be working more with an adorable and mental aspect of the clop itself rather than the physical aspect.

Thank you everyone

3495846
My pleasure, hon. Good luck!

3495846

more with an adorable and mental aspect of the clop itself rather than the physical aspect.

This, and easing up the bodily fluids would make for a much more tolerable clop-scene that 99.9% of what I've read, which isn't much, but it all seems the same to me, as if everyone is taking notes from each other.

Also, if you use the phrase, 'throbbing stallionhood', I will beat you with a stick.

3498908

Is 'hard shaft' acceptable?

3498922

It's a penis, Zero.

Others might disagree, but euphemisms in general make my eyes roll. I'm not a big fan of 'marehood' either. Also, 'funbox' made me snort. It's easy to amuse me, but very difficult to get me to 'LOL', that did it.

Emotion and cuteness is good, and this sounds like a delicious excuse for awkward sex, but when it comes to emotion, I hate it when authors get really flowery. I mean, writers manage to elicit emotion with plain, functional writing, but it seems that when it comes to sex, they have to wax poetic about it. The narrator completely switches tone, and it just sounds like the author is trying too hard.

3498977

Alright. Penis works. It feels awkward just to write it out, which was why I was hesitant with using this.

3498977
Aww... But I love 'marehood'! Then again, I may be a teensy bit biased. 'Dipstick' is right out, though. Pokey's not a Transformer! ...Or is he?

More seriously, that's a hard line to walk. If you're too poetic you might end up writing a trashy paperback or a botany presentation; if you try too hard not to be it could read like a sex-ed seminar. Here's my advice: Stay cool. Write naturally. If you try to be somepony you're not, you'll only make things worse. It's your first time; you're going to make mistakes, and that's okay. A prereader or editor could let you know if amateurish prose turns the story into an unintended comedy. Until that time, just do your best! It's obvious that you care about this prompt enough to want to do a good job. I'm sure you'll do it justice.

...You know, you could probably get away with using Pokey's nerves and Pinkie's innocence as excuses for an exchange of too-serious and too-flowery lines. Maybe it'd make for a clever commentary on today's clop scene.

3499012
Synonyms are your friends. The four of us are only trying to help, but all the same you shouldn't try too hard to cater to anypony's tastes. If you think a word feels wrong, use a different one. If it feels right, keep it.

3499021

Nah I'm fine with penis. I just need to use it a few more times to get more used to it. Penis.

3499063
*snkt* D'aww.

3499021

It's your first time; you're going to make mistakes, and that's okay.

That's what he said.

Synonyms are your friends. The four of us are only trying to help, but all the same you shouldn't try too hard to cater to anypony's tastes. If you think a word feels wrong, use a different one. If it feels right, keep it.

Seconded.

3499063
3499069

I just need to use it a few more times to get more used to it. Penis.

Penis. Penis, penis, penis, penis. Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis. Penis, penis, penis, penis, penis, vagina, penis.

3499400
[youtube=sc-099OMn3E]

3499428

It pretty much sums up the tension when somebody screams 'Penis' or 'Vagina' out in public.

3499428
3499440

If someone is somehow less comfortable with those words than Hank Hill, then they've got their work cut out for them.

3499428 3499440 3499456
When I was in my freshman year in high school, we were playing one of those dumb history jeopardy games when my friend Hunter was selected to answer the next question. He wasn't totally sure of the answer, so he half guessed it. He got it right. He then stood up, pumped his fist in the air, and yelled "Boner!" really loudly in the middle of the classroom before sitting down again.
...
...
...
Realizing his mistake about five seconds later, he stands up again, pumps his fist again, and yells "I mean bonus!", and once again takes his seat. To this day, nobody, not even Hunter himself, knows why he yelled "boner".

3499477
A couple of guys, during summer school, took to yelling out, "Vagina power!" in class.

3499477
I bet Freud would have an opinion.

3499488
Freud thought that everyone wants to fuck their mother.

3499490
I think that's because Freud wanted to fuck his mother. He was a bright one, but he fell into that same trap everypony seems to fall into: He didn't remove himself from the equation.

3499486 That could be taken as offensive to some people...

3499488 The best part is that the teacher didn't even hear it. Then again, you couldn't really hear anything over the roaring laughter of the class afterwards.

3499503

That could be taken as offensive to some people...

Just a couple of sex-obsessed teenagers. The only thing truly offensive about it is the vulgarity.