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SEASON IV

A NEW HOP

IN THE GRIM PINKNESS OF THE PRESENT DAY…

THERE IS ONLY STUPID. IGNORANCE OF GRAMMATICAL RULES, PROPER DECORUM, AND COMMON SENSE ARE THE ONLY CONSTANTS IN THE BRONY FANDOM. ONCE A HOME TO GOOD STORIES AND PROMISING AUTHORS, SITES SUCH AS EQUESTRIA DAILY HAVE QUARENTINED THEMSELVES FROM THE REST OF THE FANFICTION COMMUNITY, DECLARING THEMSELVES THE ULTIMATE JUDGES OF QUALITY.

THE FREE-NATION OF FIMFICTION HAS BEEN CORRODED BY MASSIVE INFLUXES OF BANDWAGONER TEENAGERS WHO HAVE HORRIFIED EVEN TWEEN TWILIGHT-SAGA FANGIRLS AND SOCCER MOMS. THEY IGNORE ALL SENSIBILITIES AND HAVE FLOODED ANY SITE THEY CAN WITH HORRIBLE TRIPE. HUMANS MARRY PONIES. POOR SHIPPING FAFFERY. LOTS AND LOTS OF HALO CROSSOVERS. THESE SINS HAVE TARNISHED THE FACE OF THE FANDOM.

BUT. THERE IS HOP.

FROM THE DEPTHS OF OBSCURITY, MEN OF GREAT VALOR HAVE RISEN TO THE CHALLENGE OF BRINGING TO JUSTICE THOSE WHO SENSELESSLY DESTROY THE BRAIN CELLS OF THEIR FELLOW HUMAN-BEINGS. THEY HAVE BANDED TOGETHER TO FORM GREAT COALITIONS OF RELATIVELY SANE CRITIC GROUPS. HOWEVER, IT MAY NOT BE ENOUGH TO QUELL THE NEEDS OF THE FANDOM.

WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT, QUALITY MUST BE PRESERVED, POTENTIAL NURSED WITH THE BOSOM OF CRITIQUE, AND THOSE WHO WOULD DARE TO CLAIM LORDSHIP OVER THE UNIVERSE ELIMINATED.

WE ARE THE EXPERTS. WE ARE HUMAN-BEINGS. WE ARE PEOPLE THINGS.

______________________________________________________________________________

Just what IS the Ehbpt, you ask? Well, for one, it's not an onomatopoeia for a raspberry. Just ask yourself this: have you ever seen a story, and your immediate reaction was as follows?

WOW
I mean WOW
Like, holy shit, man. Wow.
This fic. THIS FIC. Let me tell ya, man. I saw this fic and I pointed my cigar at the computer screen, nodded, and said, "This is the one." Then I clicked it and I read it and man, I gotta say, that this WAS the fic. -ObCom

And for all the wrong reasons, too! Then you know how I feel. I don't even go to the front page anymore.

Ehbpt will, whenever I get off me arse, be the greatest achievement of all mankind. We'll land on the sun. We'll kill Hitler. We'll cure cancer. We'll forever get rid of those horrible little skin things that jut out on your fingernail edges and drive you completely insane.

...

Not buying it, are you? You've come so far, reading through my rambling nonsense and purposefully appalling prose, only to end up with more stupid than answers. Very well. I'll be serious for a moment. Ehbpt is, for all intents and purposes, meant to help people. I'm not an editor (I don't have time for it) but I do have the ability to provide quick, precise critique on a story that most authors will never get in their entire "career" of writing on this site. I once got about five pages of "Wow this is great!" and "Lol that one part was hilarious!" on a story before one, ONE person actually offered anything critical in nature.

That is pathetic.

More people need to have criticism. Without KNOWING something is wrong, how is one supposed to improve on anything? Writers, especially fan-fiction writers, tend to have the most trouble with this. Most are new to the mere concept of writing, likely growing up in America and not even knowing the basic rules of English grammar. Or, of course, not natively speaking English and not knowing it that well, which is far more forgivable.

Ehbpt is, in the end, an initiative to at least do its part. Critics are welcome to help out in the name of JUSTICE, but I'm not surprised if it'll just be me. Critique will be written on the basis of alerting the author to what's wrong with his story, what's good, and how to improve.

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