Alright folks. Soaring is here to dish out a review that has been sitting in possession of one of our reviewers for far too long. I am here to address that reviewers who are on the review squad need to kick it up a notch. Also, just a reminder, reviewers should only claim one to two stories at a time. One reviewer should not be claiming four stories for review. Let's keep it simple, folks.

Okay, now that the technical stuff is done. I'm claiming this story as my own for review. If the reviewer who claimed this would still like to review it, then so be it. Message me in PM so I know you're adding a review to this post. Thank you.

So, TyperPony's One Thousand Years is a story that...

...will be done with my new reviewing method!

"Soaring, you change reviewing techniques more than I change my water brand!"

To those who think water brands are important, then this is my response to you:

"Fiddlesticks."

Let's get on with the #Review!

So folks, here we have our first category. Creativity is a category that needs to be assessed more often, because writers tend to fall into those common tropes that many of us either groan, moan, or simply give chance to be different but growl at the fact that it isn't different at all.

Phew, long sentence.

Anywho, let's evaluate TyperPony's story based on the following criteria:

1. Does the story have fresh and original content?

Well, partially. If you do not want spoilers, please move to #2.

You have been warned.

Majorly.

White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.
White space is best space.

So, TyperPony has written a story based on the idea of Celestia and Luna's reflections on the aftermath of Luna being booted line-drove catapulted to the moon. Well, she was Nightmare Moon at the time, so if Nightmare Moon had won that great battle, we would have a whole different show now, wouldn't we? Of course, with season five canon, we know that the aftermath of what could have been would not be pretty.

So, does this story exist during the time that season five's canon came out?

Story's publish date: 7th Sep 2015
Episode air date: 18th November 2015

Nope. So it's original on the technical side of content. But is this story still original and fresh? Can it hold up to current readers?

Sure, if they are new to the fandom and haven't read many works on Luna's banishment. However, for well-versed veterans in the fandom, not so much. This tends to jump into the same old reactions that Luna would have. Although they are logical, they are not in the sense "creative". And it goes the same for Celestia, whose mind is filled with guilt (as expected).

Even more white space! Aye!
Even more white space! Aye!
Even more white space! Aye!
Even more white space! Aye!
Even more white space! Aye!
Even more white space! Aye!

2. Is the writing itself creative to compensate for the lack of creativity?

Yes. Even though we're riding on the same old reactions (as said in #1), we are getting a creative way of portraying Luna and Celestia. The writing flows very well with its short burst way of presenting the information. The sentences are straightfoward and to the point, but they are not basic enough to be considered "eh" in terms of creativity. I found some sentences that could be connected for even better flow, but maybe the purpose of the sentences being abrupt in some places may be due to how the author wants the thoughts of the character to be. Could it be that the short burst format was to show the struggle of the characters' comprehension of the incident? Could be, or it could be simple grammar errors. The author will have to explain that bit for us.

So, this section earns a solid four out of six.

The second category of evaluation: story mapping. Now you may or may not have heard the term from teachers who are very adamant on story maps for children who are being introduced to story writing. This graphic organizer allows students to be able to organize their thoughts without it being a massive brain dump on a piece of paper.

So, here's how a story map goes.

1. Is there a formal introduction to the story?

A: Yes. Luna's character introduces the "waiting" bit with succinct language and emphasis. The next chapter does the same sort of follow-up introduction with Celestia's thoughts.

2. Is there a middle to the story?

A: A middle refers to the fact if there's any sort of rising climax or sort of conflict that brings meaning to the whole piece. In this story, the conflict is presented throughout, not as a middle. The middle of the story seems missing. Instead, the story is actually two stories with two separate middles, so, with this in mind, the story overall does not have a middle. Instead, it has two separate middles and with that, two separate endings.

3. Does the story have an overall ending?

A: No, not exactly. Nothing is actually done to help Luna bear the pain that she has to bear. And Celestia says she will bear her sister's pain, but how will she go about that? There's nothing other than thought here, and no action to supply that means of an end. Instead, it ends with the thought of hopes of her sister's return, not a mare whose crazed about making eternal night. There is also no sequel or side story that elaborates on this piece, so therefore no real ending is supplied.

Based on this data, this section is basically a bust. As a result, a mere two points out of six are earned.

Evaluating a writer's creativity in portraying a scene is one thing, but reviewing the writer's ability to write is another.

1. Is the writing confusing?

No, as mentioned before in the creativity section, the writing was short-burst format, making it hard to be misinterpreted. The sentences tend to be very short and to the point.

2. Is the story grammatically correct?

For the most part, yes. For those grammar nazi folk, I won't be grading TyperPony on his mistake such as:

" I guess we do share some similarities. Me and her."

But rather explain why the sentences could be combined with one simple fix. Ready?

Her and I (what it should be) could be moved to where "we" is.

"I guess her and I do share some similarities."

Why is that? Well, when you're near the beginning of the sentence, you need to put yourself as I, because you are in the forefront, not the backdrop. If you're in the backdrop (meaning the end of the sentence), you are now referred to as "me". The only exception to this rule is if you're trying to Romeo and Juliet me. "It is I."

But you won't find too many instances of bad grammar in this story. If anything, it's pretty immaculate in terms of grammar.

So, take your six out of six and let it be, like the Beatles.

Well, every story needs character evaluation. Why? Well, many writers (including me) tend to forget how a character may act. Instead of having the character act (in fanfiction) according to how the show portrays them, we portray them in rather... alternate ways. Pinkamena's character development in Cupcakes could give you a "what could possibly go wrong" type of example. But let's not look at Cupcakes as a bad story overall. Instead, let's look at TyperPony's One Thousand Years.

For starters, let's dig deep into the confines of Luna's mind. We will evaluate her on the rubric I've created for this section.

1. Is Luna in character?

Yes, if we were to abide by season one canon.

2. Does Luna's train of thought make sense?

Yes. She has been banished to the moon. Hello, space rocks, you are very, very boring to look at for a thousand years.

3. Is there reasoning to back up Luna's actions?

Yes and no. Refer to number two in terms of reasoning for her thoughts, but since there isn't much action (if any), we'll have to say no due to "lack of action".

Alrighty, now for Celestia's turn on the rubric slide.

1. Is Celestia in character?

I hope so. Celestia's character is very hard to determine. She's very wise but very mysterious. Why? Backstory is almost as blank as a fresh piece of loose leaf paper. There's only blue lines remaining, and a red one that really hates to be involved with the pattern. There are instances of Celestia's character that pops out in this chapter dedicated to her, but it's not really set in stone. Debatable.

2. Does Celestia's train of thought make sense?

In the story's context, sort of. Lots of head canon here as a result of there being no real set-in-stone backstory. But, that does not mean that the head canon does not make sense. It actually does, so let's go with a resounding "Yes" here.

3. Is there reasoning to back up Celestia's actions?

No, because, just like Luna, there is no action to be had. So this category is null void.

So, how does the characterization pan out?

Eh...? Four out of six. I'll be lenient here since there isn't much action to begin with. But with the character's thoughts being on blast, I can forgive the lack of action with the points here.

The last category will not be graded on, so this is where the review ends and where the readability begins.

You might be wondering what the heck this chart is:

Good question. Let me explain. This chart is called Fry's Readability Chart. It calculates the approximate reading level of a piece of text through a sample. Thankfully, this story practically is two slices of samples, so I used one to calculate the reading level. Here, from this chart, we can see that the reading level is a tough second to third grade story. So, you have hit the nail on the head with hitting the general audience. Anyone above the age of a teen can read this with relative ease, so comprehension shouldn't be that big of an issue.

Now why the heck am I including this in a review?

Well, I am giving this to you authors for your benefit. Writers can see how their writing is being measured, and how said writing can reflect on a population of readers. If you would like a free readability calculator, here is a link. The data should explain where your story adds up on the readability scale. This is what textbook creators use to define where their texts end up on the readability graph. Pretty nifty, if I have to say so myself.

So, what is TyperPony's final score?

A pretty decent score.

16 out of 24.

This lands him over half of the points. But points don't really matter in terms of recommendation. If I were to recommend this, it would have to be really good. Yeah, I'm a tough reviewer. Overall, I think it is a safe recommendation, but it barely passes it. Why?

Simple: it is creative with it's writing, its grammatically spotless, it has purpose within its diction, and it really shines with its characterization in terms of head canon to canon relations.

Overall, a decent story. I think it could be better if expanded upon and given a story beyond the concept, but that is just me. Maybe you all share the same opinion as I, or maybe some of you don't agree? Write down what you think in the comments! Tell me if this review style and manner is much more appropriate. I'll stick with it if so!

Thank you for reading and thank you, TyperPony, for submitting to PCaRG. Hope to see you submit again soon! Have a great day or night, everyone!

Sorry for the forced meme in the title, I am guilty as charged.

5176419
I kinda like the process of this review. I'd like to see it put to a bit longer of a story.

5176479
Sure, I can do that! Thank you for your input!

If I may pry, what is that you do not like about this review process? Is it a bit messy? Is it not "Pleasant"? Just curious.

5176487
Just a nitpick, really. The review mentioned a lack of action, but it wasn't too clear on why that was. I thought it might have been a simple conversation between the two characters, which it really isn't. I was surprised to see it was a pair of inner monologues when I read through it. So... I suppose you could be clearer about what the story is.

After double checking the review, you did say it was a reflective piece. I guess that could have clued me in.

5176517
Hmmm. I can see what you mean by that. For further reference, I'll make sure to elaborate on what I mean by that phrase when using it for non-reflective pieces and reflective pieces alike. That way, there's no confusion.

And now that I think of it, I might also space out some of the categories a bit more so that it's not so clogged. Noted.

Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it!

5176419 Out of interest, do you consider a lower reading grade automatically better?

5176972
I think by having a lower reading level allows the fic to be open to more readers, but it really depends on how the readers are reading the content. If they are having someone scaffold them, readers who are usually a fifth or sixth grade reading level could be able to read an eighth or ninth grade reading level. However, if they are not being scaffolded, chances are its based on what the readers knows. By hitting the general population (3rd-9th), writers can get their fiction out to a bigger viewer audience.

So reading level does not dictate quality. It just tells you how big the words in the sentences are and how long the sentences may be.

Thank you for writing this, and getting it out so quickly :D. I'll be sure to take your advice to heart for whatever I write next (if I ever have time.)