[REVIEW] I, Chrysalis by Scarheart

Back from the dead!

As you can see from the title, the subject of my long overdue review is I, Chrysalis by Scarheart. As always, here's the synopsalis:

“Imprisoned, Queen Chrysalis writes the story of her life, her legacy. But not for those pathetic ponies! Gifted with a daughter, she cherishes what could be the last changeling she will ever interact with...”

Just a quick, nitpicky note before I jump into the story… the long description is… very long. It's almost 300 words. You might want to trim that down a bit, just a suggestion.

Anyways, let's get this show on the road!

THE PLOT

So the basic gist of the plot is that Chrysalis has been captured shortly after the changeling invasion, and has been imprisoned by the ponies. The circumstances are hardly barbaric, she is kept in good conditions and treated with respect by Luna and Celestia and most of the orderlies, but nonetheless she wishes only to be free so that she can be with her hive.

Oh, also, she birthed a daughter named Atalanta. That's kinda important.

Talking about the plot of this story is funny, cause there are a few plots to talk about here. There's the main one, which primarily details Chrissy's interactions with Celestia and Luna, who are willing to give Chrysalis a second chance and a home in Equestria in return for her help with stopping a greater evil. Chrysalis, of course, isn't exactly keen on helping them or even co-operating with their attempts at peace.

Then, there's the secondary plot, which is told through Chrysalis's memoirs written for her daughter. Typically, each chapter is introduced by these brief little introductions, which detail Chrysalis's life from birth. Think of it like a biography within a story, which is exactly what it is. It is a gritty and violent take on changeling society, and a dark beginning for one of Equestria's more fearsome foes.

Either one of these threads could have made for a fantastic story by themselves, but as it stands they are weaved together quite well. Although, when the story first began, I thought it was Atalanta narrating, since it was describing her being born right before the flashback finishes and we see Chrysalis with an infant changeling… it kinda tripped me up a bit, but that's probably just me being dumb.

Interestingly, even though it is considerably less prominent, the flashback narrative is much more complex than the main narrative. Not saying it's better or worse, just that it's a neat juxtaposition between Chrysalis's hellish early years and her time in captivity. The main narrative isn't really awfully complex, the focus seems to be more on….

THE CHARACTERS

(I need to stop with these cheesy transitions.)

Well, first of all, Chrysalis. She's the central character and protagonist of the story, but I'm wary to use the term hero to describe her. She is certainly not evil, nor does she fail to earn sympathy, but she is hardly free of blame. In fact, she probably deserves harsher judgement than what she is being given, and yet how does she respond to the respect being given to her?

Pretty poorly. Chrysalis is the central character, but she isn't reduced to some cookie-cutter, OOC anti-hero. Her selfishness and misdeeds are not danced around, they are presented front and center. It is interesting having her as the main character… you can empathize with her, her actions and motivations are justified, but the whole while you just want to shake her and scream that she needs to stop being so judgmental and distrustful. Think Holden Caulfield meets Midna from Twilight Princess. Is that a good comparison? It seemed like a good comparison in my head.

In case I failed to make it clear, I loved Chrysalis's characterization, although I thought her resolute distrust started to become a little straining by the final chapter, when it started to become unmistakably clear that Celestia and Luna earnestly wanted to help her, their own motives aside. There's being stubborn, then there's just being stupid, and by this point Chrysalis started to venture into the latter.

Reading her interactions with Celestia, Luna, and Twilight was quite entertaining. Especially Twilight. Without spoiling anything, there was one part in Chapter XI that nearly had me reeling in how manipulative and harsh Chrysalis was capable of being. She had consistent, adaptable variations of her snark for each pony she dealt with. Personally, I relate to Chrysalis's sass on a spiritual level.

It might be unfair to say this since the story is not complete yet, but I more or less found Atalanta was just sort of there. Then again, she is a newborn, who cannot speak and therefore cannot command a lot of presence, but nonetheless I was expecting a bit of a heavier focus on her.

GRAMMAR AND MECHANICS

On one hand, the grammar itself was good. No glaring issues I noticed while reading, which as far as I'm concerned is a success. On the other hand, there were a fair number of typos/word slip-ups. Like, perhaps one a chapter. Here are a few that I found in the first chapter alone:

- “I became aware with the Voice came Words.”
(I know what you're trying to say here, but it still sounds awkward to me.)

- “The lone candle with which she wrote flickered and danced”
(Writing with a candle seems like it would be quite inefficient.)

- “My anxieties was the first thing She would push away. ”
(Again, I see what you're saying here, but I think it could be worded a little better.)

Sometimes the tenses in the first-person narrated memoir flashbacks changed. Nothing deal breaking, nothing that even survives much past the level of nitpicking, but I feel it's worthy to note all the same.

Also, there was some inconsistent capitalization of “Queen” and “Princess” without them being used in the proper noun context (Princess Celestia, Queen Chrysalis). Sometimes, as a normal noun, queen was capitalized, other times it wasn't.

Sometimes, stuff like this happened:

“Chrysalis checked the sling slung over her shoulder and across her chest.”

The pacing was fine. As I said before, it was probably a good idea to incorporate Chrysalis's memoir flashbacks into the mix, to break up the slow nature of the main narrative. The main narrative itself wasn't boring, I can't think of any parts that really dragged, but it definitely helped having the flashbacks to mix things up a bit.

Just cause I don't know where else to put it, I just want to mention that despite being a story dealing with some heavy subject matter, it's humour was spot-on and very nice to see. It really helped break up the fic's dark nature and save it from being a heavy endurance of negativity. For example, consider this gem:

“Nothing about this hearing makes sense. Why won’t you simply kill me and be done with it? Do your punishment. You have all the advantages. Your laws are bad and you should feel bad.”

I dunno. It just cracks me up.

WORLDBUILDING

God damn it. I'm starting to sound really repetitious in this category.

The worldbuilding is really dang good. The flashback memoir chapters provide a unique take on changelings that subverts many fandom tropes and invents entirely new concepts that seem very inspired. Different changeling species, changeling customs, it all seems quite complete.

Someways into the flashback story, Young Chrysalis becomes a slave/surrogate child to a wicked, cruel changeling queen named Taalia, who is the leader of a subspecies of changelings that call themselves The Ravagers. She is merciless and barbaric… y'know a villain is scary when Chrysalis calls her those things. At one point, even Chrysalis thinks that ponies don't deserve to run into her. It's a great way to set up a villain early on before she even shows up in the story. I'm hyped to see their actual in-the-flesh interaction.

Speaking of Taalia... one concept I thought intriguing was how changeling infants are affected by emotions. Chrysalis as a child was surrounded by hatred, fear, and sadness, which somewhat explains why that makes up the bulk of her emotions in the present. It makes for some neat moments where Chrysalis has to force away the urge to feel negative emotions because she does not want Atalanta to go down the route she has. Just an example of the neat little details this fic is full of.

IMPACT AND RESONANCE

Kinda hard to say, since it's not actually finished yet, but as it stands I'm very intrigued to see where the rest of this story goes. Well characterized… characters, rich worldbuilding, a full and inspired backstory, sharp dialogue and a surprising amount of good-natured humour… I'd say this is amongst the stronger Chrysalis “novels.” There wasn't anything so kickass it completely floored me, but almost everything here is done great regardless. If I ever want to read a great example of Chrysalis characterization and redemption done right, I can see myself coming back to this story.

CONCLUSION AND FINAL THOUGHTS

Grammar and Writing: Not perfect, but nothing bad enough to cripple the story. A quick brush over to pick up some of the typos might be a good idea. Dialogue felt natural and realistic.

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Originality and Impact: The concept of Chrysalis being captured by the ponies and finding redemption is hardly a new thing, but it's not often done with this much inspiration and care. Definitely one of the strongest stories of this 'genre.'

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Plot, Characters: Awesome characterization, neat to see Chrysalis blur the line between good and evil or sympathetic and unpleasant, and somehow manage to fit comfortably into all four, even if her stubbornness did start to get kind of grating by the end. Both plots were done well.

FINAL SCORE: Must Read

Thank you for the review! It put a smile on my face. I do hope to have the story finished by spring.

4899025 I look forward to it!