Here's the link to the story by Sparky_and_Darkling! Check it out!
(Rated Everyone)

Alright, Famous here. As opposed to the usual, I decided to try reading a ship I'm not very accustomed to. OctaScratch.

PRESENTATION

The entire story was written from Octavia's viewpoint. It primarily consisted of her thinking to herself, contemplating her relationship with Vinyl. It managed to stay with a consistent POV, so that's a plus.

The general style seemed to be consistent as well. It all took place within their home, in the same scene. Considering this a short one-shot, staying in one place is actually a plus. It helps make the story more in-depth and connected to the characters.

Now, one complaint I have is that it has issues with the flow. For example, take Vinyl's line here:

“Octy," she started slowly, explaining, "it was only a year, and it really helped my career.”

Here, she's trying to explain why it was okay for her to go on tour for a year, despite Octavia's feelings. But just a couple paragraphs later, she opts to start apologising and feels a lot of remorse. Her emotions, as well as Octavia's took a quite a few U-turns throughout.

Pro Tip: What I would suggest is to put yourself in the position of the characters, or imagine the scene taking place in the show. Like, look at the dialogue or emotions you wrote out and picture if you could ever see that happening for real or in the show.

MOOD

The mood was made clear from the very beginning. Through Octavia's thoughts, we were able to derive that some serious emotional troubles are plaguing her, as well as Vinyl. It sets you up for a kind of somber, sad feeling.

However, the mood to a drastic swing at the end. Without giving spoilers, the sad mood flew the coop and tried to replace itself with something sweet and happy. The problem? It was so sudden that it didn't make sense. You have Octavia on the verge of breaking up with Vinyl, feeling heartbroken from all of Vinyl's lies, only to turn around at one act of kindness from Vinyl near the end. Honestly, this story would have worked much better had the somber mood remained throughout.

Pro Tip: When it comes to one-shots, especially those of shorter length, it's best to find a message, or a basic mood and stay with it. It gives the story more feeling.

GRAMMAR

Alright, not much to say here. I notice you don't double-space your paragraphs, but that's not a crime. Just a personal preference thing.

A few of your dialogue lines seemed kind of jumbled. Take this for example:

“Octy," she started slowly, explaining, "it was only a year, and it really helped my career.” I knew she was trying to justify why she accepted the gig, all the money and promotion it would give her.

You've got Vinyl talking, but Octavia's thoughts following. It's not a horrible error, but it is just a tad confusing at times. Not to mention it doesn't read as smooth as one would hope.

Grammar Grade: B+

Okay, here's my final thought. All in all, the structure of the story left a good deal of emotion on the table. It seemed to be going okay until it copped out with the happy feels at the end. In light of that, one-shots featuring Vinyl and Octavia in some sort of music-based relationship dilemma permeate this site, so there wasn't a whole lot of originality. Unfortunately, I was a bit disappointed.

Now, don't give up or think that I'm calling you a bad writer. I'm not. You seem to have a good grasp on what makes a good story and how to write characters. What I would recommend is read a lot of stories from authors you admire. Reading is a great way to learn and refine your craft. Also, the more you write, the better you'll get. So keep working at it.

THE STORY NEEDS WORK BUT THE AUTHOR HAS POTENTIAL