And here it is

I think things are going a bit too fast, but that's a minor complaint on my part and not enough to prevent this from going to canon. Otherwise -

a) it introduces the mirror pool, and that's good
b) it gives us more Carrot Top, even if it is, admittedly, just a variation on the same stories she always seems to get stuck with
c) it gets GreyGuardPony into the game, which I know we want.

So, my vote is yes. Thoughts?

2627936 It's not like Fluttershy and Applejack don't always get stuck with the same darn stories in the show and the Fluttershy micro .

Yeah we shouldn't shun stories just because we don't agree with everything its doing on a style-based level, we are the Quorom of Canon, not the Secret Litterary Critic's Club or something. As long as it's not an unreadable mess it shouldn't be a problem. And I like the quick pace, it feels more like a 30 minute episode that way.

So overall I really enjoyed this chapter; it's not perfect, but it still lived up to expectations and is a great first start to induct GreyGuard into our family of canon authors. I think it might be a good idea, however, to at least provide him with some feedback regarding things that could maybe be improved upon, but I'm not really seeing anything worth excluding this fic from canon even if he chose not to make any of those changes/additions.

While it was true that the two ponies had not historically seen eye to eye, she had noticed that Applejack had been making more of an effort to be less confrontational as of late.

MODERATE: I'm not sure the story really needs to be calling such overt attention to either AJ's confrontational aspects or her supposed attempts to cut back as of late. As per the list of things to avoid, the L!M6 are not "broken" and don't need to be "fixed". I'm not complaining about the words any of the characters speak; I approve of AJ feeling awkward asking for help, and likewise of CT being both a confused and hesitant at the prospect, and I'm even okay when later Green Grape makes a fuss over it. Where I get a bit leery is when the narrative itself reflects on and draws specific attention to these facts. At this current level its not anywhere near being a deal break, but at the same time something of a warning flag in my mind so it might be appropriate to advise caution on GreyGaurds's part.

Despite the fact that she had been in the Everfree before, when the threat of Corona was hanging overhead, she was having a very hard time keeping her knees from knocking as she moved through the night shrouded forest.

MINOR: Carrot Top's fear of the Everfree should perhaps be re-worded. It's already established in our canon that she regularly gathers herbal ingredients from the forest. That said, most of those ingredients likely come from the more relatively safe edges, and CT probably does her collecting in day light, so delving into the darkest depths of the wood in the middle of the night could still be legitimately nerve racking. Again, nothing to deny canon status over, as it's really only this ONE paragraph that could maybe use a tweak.

The rows on the south side of the hill were indeed toppled, the other members of the Farmer’s Union already swarming around and clearing the fallen posts away.

MINOR: this more so relates back to the scene where Green Grape first imposed upon CT, but with so many other farmers in the union a single set of hooves would hardly be all that noticeable and so I'm not really sure that CT's prior obligations should have been that much of a problem. The initial scene could maybe do with the addition of some handwave agricultural-babble to explain that CT has a unique expertise that the others lack (this could also better explain why the real CT comes here while sending her clone to help AJ). Or else both scenes should be revised so that when asking for help Green Grape rattles off a lengthy list of other farmers that were also unnamable, and subsequently have less ponies on hand during the actual clean up.

2627936
MINOR: I agree that things are moving a little fast, or rather that they get started a little fast. A mere two ponies imposing on her doesn't seem like it should be so out of the ordinary as to cause CT to suddenly jump to the solution of magical cloning. Now once she's got the first clone I'm perfectly fine with it snowballing from there, but the story would be better if there was a bit more impetus to get the ball rolling in the first place. Like with Pinkie in the show, CT could maybe do with having somepony else to plant the idea in her head; maybe briefly asking Trixie for advice only to get the seemingly unhelpful response that it's too bad she's not Luna who can just split herself apart to deal with multiple simultaneous obligations. Still, while I think it's worth suggesting the idea, since it would require working in an entire extra scene I don't see any reason to force the issue.

2628204 2628003
Okay, so that's the three of us, but as usual for the sake of completeness I'd still like to wait for GrassAndClouds2's thoughts.

2628204 We can make our suggestions in the Writer Workshop thread too. I was actually thinking the first chapter needed a scene with one of CT's friend.

2627936 : I really like it. I'm all in favor of it being canon.

My only issue -- and this is really minor-- is that I think it's a bit odd that the clone gets upset after running into a bunch of other ponies who need help. If the clones are one-dimensional, I wouldn't think they'd get upset; the clone might just agree to everything and cheerily tell CT later, who would be the one to freak out over all these obligations suddenly dropping onto her doorstep. But other than that, no complaints at all.

2629893
I saw it more as the equivalent of the clone Blue-Screening. Though your way also works.

Well, I'll go let GreyGuard know the good news, then. And I'll PM him our discussion.

2629893
I don't see the problem with the CT clone having a breakdown over having too many ponies to help. That's basicly the same thing that happened to the first Pinkie clone on the show.

2632195 : I don't recall the clone breaking down. I thought only the real Pinkie did.

2632234

2632282 : Forgot about that. In that case, no objection from me.

So we're done, thus closed!