We got asked to look at this. Link to the story here.

I'm opposed for a couple of reasons. First off, the grammar is off in several ways. A quick snippet from the opening:

Sending her consciousness into the depths of her memories. She trudged through the quagmire of her ancient mind looking at the thread that lead to it all. As she searched one memory came to the forefront shining above the others.

The first period should be a comma (as is, the first sentence is incomplete and the second is awkwardly terse), and the second needs commas after 'searched' and 'forefront.' There are innumerable mistakes of this nature throughout the story.

Also, the POV constantly shifts between first and third person. Sometimes it seems like Celestia is narrating, sometimes not. This results in a disjointed feel to the story.

Second, of course, is the issue of canonicity. There's a lot of worldbuilding here that hasn't been hashed out on the boards and that could cause problems later. These include:

* Celestia and Luna have parents, who have passed on
* Sombra was the apprentice of the alicorns, most notably Luna
* Luna taught Sombra dark magic
* Chimeras exist
* New monsters called Shades exist, which seem to be a kind of cross between ghosts and zombies.
* The reason there are no crystal unicorns or pegasi is because Sombra stole all their wings and horns
* Sombra's stated rationale for his deeds is building up the Crystal Kingdom in case Equestria tries to invade and annex it, as they have apparently done to other small nations.

There are also things that contradict what we already decided. Specifically: Celestia has a long battle with Sombra and talks to him throughout it, instead of just dropping a solar flare and being done with it; Celestia's madness is caused more explicitly by her looking through Sombra's fear door; etc.

Third is the issue of the general plot. It doesn't really work for me. Sombra in particular seems incoherently characterized; in one scene, he's able to slyly manipulate Luna into teaching him dark magic; in another, he casually confesses to Celestia all the horrible things he's done for no reason.

So, overall, I'm against including this story in the Lunaverse.

I'm not really concerned about the spelling or grammar issues. That's the kind of stuff a good proofreader can clean up, and so I don't think it should ever factor directly into a decision of what is and isn't canon. Having said that though I too have concerns about this story, though maybe not quite as many as G&C.

There are some idea's in this fic I could personally like, but probably don't work in the Lunavese (Such as the princess having parents and Sombra's apprenticeship under Luna). There are then also things I specifically do not care for at all (the stuff about steeling wings/horns to supposedly explain why they are such a scarcity among crystal ponies, and also the implication that Sombra was trying to in any way "protect" the Crystal Empire. And there are a few things that might not be any problem at all. Chimera's are already canon to the show (though I'm inclined to avoid them as speaking creatures for same reasons that many youtube analyst reviewers have cited as much). Shades probably don't bother me much either since that's basically what I view Sombra as having been reduced when he was "banished into shadow".

The confrontation with proto-Corona is also a bit of a mixed bad. I don't have much problem with Sombra getting the chance to talk with her, or even Sombra adding to Celestia's growing madness by magically giving her a glimpse into her own worst fears. Yes, we've established that she's supposed to have basically just nuked him out right, but I think that only needs to apply to how one-sided the fight was, anything they might do before fighting shouldn't count.

...

Overall though, I'm probably going to have to agree that in it's current form this fic can NOT be canon. Which is a bit of a shame. I've read some of the author's other works, and while sometimes flawed on a technical level, GreatEater is if nothing else a creatively passionate writer. I'd like to be able to bring him on board into the Lunaverse, but probably not with this story -- or at least not without substantial edits to better conform to how things are supposed to work in Lunaverse.

It's these things that trouble me and make me want to vote no:

* Celestia and Luna have parents, who have passed on

I've always been intentionally vague about the origins of the alicorns (except Cadance, of course).

* Sombra was the apprentice of the alicorns, most notably Luna

I do not like this. I don't really care much for Sombra, and I don't like the idea of tying Sombra and Luna together either.

* Luna taught Sombra dark magic

I dislike how relatively nonchalant Celestia is about this. More to the point, I don't like his styling of dark magic. It's supposed to be a bad thing, and an insidious, addictive thing. It's not a weapon, it's a drug.

* Chimeras exist

In the Fullmetal Alchemist sense, that is. I'm fine with a chimera in the Greek myth sense - we've seen one in the show, after all - but not in the Fullmetal sense.

* The reason there are no crystal unicorns or pegasi is because Sombra stole all their wings and horns

I do not like this, at all.

I'll admit, though, that there's sort of a more personal reason why I don't want to canonize this, which may be making me a bit biased: Penultimatum is going to be written around the concept of continuous flashbacks to the events that led up to Corona's banishment.

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I'll admit, though, that there's sort of a more personal reason why I don't want to canonize this, which may be making me a bit biased:

Yeah, I know that feeling. In this case though, you're clearly not alone in these concerns -- personal bias or otherwise.

That's a majority. Unless Fizzy or IAH has a great argument otherwise, I think we can safely rule it noncanon.

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Agreed. I'm actually right now telling him in a PM.