So I recently revamped my Zebra OC's story a bit and I was wondering if you guys could provide some feedback on it.
http://worldofequestria.com/page/character_database.html/_/mastema-ironheart-r321
Here is his profile.

I like it. It sounds a little stereotypical because of the protection of the weak and helpless, but it is explained through his background story. I only didn't understand two things about his story.

...and many of them used the pilgrimages of young Zebras to gather more to their cause...

My english is not bad, but I can't figure out, why his brother was hunted at this point. It's something about the politicians using the young zebras, so maybe he found out a secret or two, but I can't really tell. I would like to hear a short explanation, since I have trouble understanding that particular part.

Point two is the escape from the prison. Can't he just do it from outside, with his explosives? Were just wondering, because it would be a lot easier to prepare on the outside, than the inside.

Now back to the characteristics. Being prone to violent reactions could make some nice scenes. Same goes for meticulous. Even though I have to admit, that I can't draw a clear image of his reactions in a story at this point. I'm more one that learns, when he sees (or in this case reads) in a text.

I wouldn't mind reading a story with him. Could be interesting. I would definitely be interested in seeing him react and learning more about his character.

4164419 Well they used the pilgrimages just like scholarships are used. Just like today's governments seek to control knowledge in universities to have the students inside learn what the corporations need to have those students work. In comparison to popular belief universities serve more than to teach about a subject. They broaden the mind.

Second point. I think I corrected it later, but he had to find his brother first, inform him about the plan, and make the escape. You see his imprisonment wasn't exactly... public. It wasn't exactly legal to do this.

His name is Mastema for a reason. He is a very vindicative pony, one that doesn't tolerate being bossed around, and will put you in your place if you try to force him or something.

He will probably star in some future story of mine. In any case I'd like to advise you to use the reply button so I can get notifications. It helps. Sorry for late reply.

4360967 AHAHAHAHHA LOOOOL!

4360986 Nah it was funny :D

4361005 Dingas?

4360960

Yeah. That was one of my early replies. And let's just say, that I forgot it in the past sometimes.

4361111 That's ok I really don't mind.