Twenty Great Stories 61 members · 11 stories
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From Pearple Prose:

The Celestial Mechanics In Midsummer


Okay, I'm not exaggerating when I say that this is perhaps the most beautiful story I have seen on this site.

The plot is pretty simple; just a day-in-the-life of two pony princesses. There is no romantic angst or weird comedy to go with it; it is a SoL and nothing more. But where this fic shines in its execution.

Your narrative voice is excellent. It turns a rather run-of-the-mill Slice-of-Life fic into... something far, far more intriguing. I was enraptured from start to finish just by the sheer quality of the prose. I must admit, I'm actually quite envious of your talent.

Celestia and Luna's characters were perfect. Flawlessly executed, and truly alive in their interactions, thoughts, and mannerisms. Twilight and Rarity were non-intrusive, but still only added to the story and were used superbly well.

And that penultimate paragraph... chilling.

This story is something truly special.

Group Admin

What an awkward title for a wonderful story.

Some formatting issues, but, overall, one of those great "nothing much happens, nothing much has to" true slice of life gems.

Thumbs up

Sharp Spark
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'Beautiful' is an apt descriptor. In terms of description and language, it's quite well done, and the author is very assured in what they're trying to accomplish.

That being said, it's also... too much for me. In a few different ways. There are parts where the style gets so flowery and embellished that I just found my eyes glaze over as I skipped over a paragraph. And I feel like it would have been stronger and more evocative at half the length. And the emotional beats that are nicely woven in at the beginning feel like they're getting hammered a bit too hard... all this around the cottage scene or so.

All in all I don't think I take exception to it being called great, but I'm not going to be the one to do so directly?


2044945 Thumbs up.

What a lovely, melancholy little piece.

Group Admin

I was honestly on the fence with this.

On the one hoof, Sharp makes points I wanted to as well -- it's heavy. It's a meal of lamb and mashed potatoes, and for a slice of life, that's risky. Even one with royals involved, where heavy adds a sense of majesty in a way, could have been tighter and a little leaner.

On the other, brilliant turns of POV and a serviceable demonstration of the relationship Luna and Celestia have with "the commoners" in all of a single scene? That speaks to greatness.

The tiebreaker came at the second to last paragraph. Everything else was fine, even bordering on great, but that little acknowledgment of distrust, of concern, of you-turned-on-me-once-could-it-happen-again, is the extra little sprinkle of rosemary that makes the lamb contrast just a little more with the potatoes.

In the end, yeah, that pushed it over. Thumbs up.

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