What are you all up to? I'm proofreading and reflecting on the fragile nature of empire after a rather disappointing series of campaigns in Civ V. Come, speak to me! I am most desirous of company while I work.

1584040
Reading.

1584040
Let me tell you the story of my life in the last month.

1584044
Ah! What book?
1584051
Please, enlighten me.

1584053
Fanfics. Finished Five Hundred Little Murders earlier. Just started on Triptych.

1584059
Interesting. I'm in the middle of a series about what would happen if an energy field hit the continental US and vaporized every primate in that area back in 2003. A week before the Second Iraq War, actually.

Predictably, shit hits the fan and goes every which way.

1584069
Sounds cool.

1584053
August 7
I lost my job.

August 8
I wake up at 2 A.M. because the new sink in the brand new kitchen has burst after being installed less than 12 hours previously. It flooded the basement and destroyed all the sheetrock in the floor/ceiling.

August 9
We go ahead with our camping trip in the Green River Lakes. Forest fires abound.

August 14
My brother has wrecked his car. They're holding him in the behavioral ward because they found a noose under the drivers seat. If not for the wreck, he would be dead.

August 22
Finally finished moving into my apartment in SLC. Find a bag of pot with a lighter and other drug paraphernalia. My roommates who have been here longer decide to take the night out when confronted. Call police and get it taken away.

August 23
Fucking come and get me. You bitch.

1584071
Israel nukes everything in the Middle East after they get uppity, France falls into a civil war, Britain's under martial law, and that's about halfway through the book. Most of America's military is overseas, so they still have a substantial nuclear presence. They actually use it to intimidate China early on and Venezuela later. But the economy gets shafted. Right in the pooper.

1584077
Seize the day. By the throat. Shake vigorously.

1584080
Sounds lulzy.

1584083
Only places left were Alaska, Hawaii, and a bit of Washington State. Things are terribad. I felt the book to be an accurate assessment of what would happen if the US were to just disappear.

I work this weekend. I'm bringing the laptop, which is preloaded with the original Terminator. And all of Pony.

1584094
Maybe you should rewrite some notes, eh?

1584097
Well yes, that will happen. Obviously. I'm going to be there for twelve hours per night, I may as well be productive.

1584105
What are you doing twelve hours a night?

1584114

Mostly that.

1584118
Oh my god. You're Sweetie Belle at night?

1584105
By the way, I just received a very interesting bit of headcanon. The reason why Fluttershy grows her mane out so long is because she doesn't want anyone to notice her taking a nap during conversations. She works with a lot of animals and some of them may be nocturnal. She has to work off that sleep deprivation sometime.

1584127
No. I'm this guy at night!

1584132
It also provides a convenient place to store newborn animals who would otherwise freeze without their mothers until she can get them to a warm place.

1584136

That's a pretty odd beard you got there.

1584144
Just wait!

1584040

Ha! Fool. Play Europa Universalis or Victoria and then talk to me about Empire.

The Holy Roman Empire shall be reborn with me at the helm! And my German armies will march across Europe in the name of the First Reich!

1584136
Is this what the USAF does during DEFCON 5? How do I sign up?

1584154
Oh, those wacky Germans.

I crush them first. Bismarck, you asshole.

1584143
I got an even better idea. Fluttershy has narcolepsy and she doesn't want to anyone to know. Someone should run with that and make a fic.

1584158
DEFCON 5 is the least sever level of threat. 1 is the worst. That means nukes are literally flying.

As for the rest of it, that's just a hobby of mine. Doctor Steel is an inspiration to me, and I do hatch the occasional evil scheme every now and then. It's quite therapeutic.

1584161

Of all of them I hate Montezuma the most.

He's a massive prick early game.

And Gandhi. Because screw Gandhi.

1584162
Which would explain why she's a terrible flyer.

Dash doesn't like anyone touching her hooves because she spends so much time in the air. They're sensitive. She's okay walking on ground because she can place them correctly, but anypony else handles them too roughly.

1584168
Fuck Ghandi with a giant metal cock that spews lava and hatred. Montezuma is a prick, but at least he's an incompetent prick.

1584175

I take it you've had some unpleasant experiences with Gandhi.

Do you play many other video games?

1584171
Makes sense, seeing how Rainbow is pretty insecure about a lot of things.

The name Nightmare Moon was coined when ponies learned that Princess Luna was always present during their nightmares.

1584185
Dragons grow larger the less they eat. The more they hoard, the bigger they grow, but if they consume what they've gathered or lose any of it, they shrink in size and power. And the bigger they grow, the less they need to eat.

1584175

No, that's usually what Ghandi is doing.

He sure does love those nukes...

1584183
Rise of Nations, Age of Mythology, SimCity, and Sins Of a Solar Empire. I occasionally play some shooters like Halo and Battlefield, but I much prefer the directing of troops. And I'm good at it.

1584190

The crystal ponies are in fact a slave race controlled by whoever owns the crystal heart.

Sombra was a normal unicorn who ended into the crystal empire and figured out how to work it.

The reason it affects the rest of Equestria is because of mental magic.

1584193
Which is why I never give him the chance to get them. If he does, we're all fucked. I've literally turned over cities to the French to win their help in destroying that psychopath.

1584197
Have you noticed how much serious mental magic exists in Equestria? Because I have. And it makes my spells look like funny little party tricks.

1584194

Ever played any Total War games?

1584201

Why does Twilight know the Want It Need It spell anyway?

1584203
Ah, yes! Rome was my favorite. A shining Empire spanning farther than those pathetic emperors ever managed to get it.

1584208

I loved watching my disciplined Roman troops march across Gaul slaughtering the less organised barbarians.

Or playing as the Greeks and watching as the enemy throws man after man into your phalanxes.

And when the time came marching right into Rome itself, crushing the fools who oppose you.

EDIT: You know, reading that makes me sound very bloodthirsty.

1584190
Scootaloo isn't an orphan. She's a runaway.

1584205
It would be this kind of shit. Cadance, who can make ponies fall in love. The spells Twilight had to forcibly convert Discord before he decided to get his shit together. The Want It Need It. Hell, Sunset Shimmer managed to control the minds of an entire school just with Twilight's crown. Consider what it can do with five other Elements backing it up.

This is what inspired my story. Equestria is a scary place when you really stop and think about it. Assigned jobs for each species, further specialized by marks in plain view. No criminals. Where do they go? Benevolent monarch who could kill you all just by keeping the sun up.

It's not a nice place. Regardless of what you might think. Conversion Bureaus and ponyfication? No fucking thank you. I'll die on Earth with my fingers, thanks.

1584222
Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Cheerilee are all distantly related, so far back that their families don't get together anymore.

1584223
But but but waifu!

1584213
I made better use of cavalry. I like my forces to have speed. I'd crush armies with cavalry tactics, and use infantry to bring down the actual cities.

1584228
The reason why Derpy is derpy and speaks in a really loud manner is because she has a hearing disability, meaning her inner ears are messed up.

1584229
Sure, if you don't mind having your personality scooped out by magical lobotomy and replaced with "good", "wholesome" thoughts. Go right ahead, buddy.

1584223

They be scary creatures them ponies.

Those cuite marks do smack a little too much of destiny over free will don't they?

I've read some of those fics, and I'm with you on that one.