Hey all. I probably am not the most renowned reviewer here in this group (I know for a fact Umachan dwarfs me in comparison), but after watching several failed and improper attempts at reviewing and berating stories (I am talking to you, Theater Critic. Stupid imbecile...), I think that it would be nice to make a pseudo-chart of what is acceptable and unacceptable for certain kinds of review treatment, as well as descriptions of fictions as to better identify them for what they are.

And so it begins...

1. The n00b

The most common of Author breeds in not just this brony fandom, but all over The Internets. They are annoying in large numbers but take only a minimal amount of effort to control and tame for later observation (i.e. Social Experiments on the effects of learning what the fuck you're doing instead of diving head first in the kiddy pool). True, for some people with nothing better to do, it is just easier to throw down an f-bomb, add a few lulzy images into a comment, and basically curbstomp the little nuisance into oblivion. But if you are going to be an upstanding person, there are a couple methods that I would suggest.

A. Moderate reviewing. Lay out key concepts that are lacking as to provide a way out of their current situation. In the long run, this may actually prove beneficial to you as well in the effect where you might gain a follower as well as maybe a few added upvotes on your stories.

B. Playful joking. Note that this only works on those who you can identify as having high levels of maturity. (Obvious thirteen-year-olds are not the best target for this method as they will get very butthurt and begin to whine and complain that your being a cheeky bastard.) This method shows the author that what they are doing is not the smartest thing, and thus they will delete the story faster than Theater Critic deletes comments.

Common characteristics of these newbies include: Pony Creator Cover Art, cliched plot devices commonly found in fanfiction, poor characters, and poor grammar.

2. The Comment Deleter

A very common brand of dumbass, these sly fools will take any comment (regardless of intention, whether it be good or ill) and remove it from the face of The Internets. Annoying, pretentious, and dense, these people will take offense at anything that doesn't include: "OMG that is such a good story".

This comment deleter subspecies may or may not be an evolved form of the n00b, depending on whether the telltale signs of both are present. It is important to note that these extremist n00bs should not be the target of your most intense hatred. Keep the feelings under control and you have the situation under control.

For ways of dealing with these Comment Deleters, refer to Section 1 above.

Characteristics include: Resorting to the "DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING" protocol as a default response and not responding to criticism well.

3. The Repeat Offender

The bane of everything that exists in the digital realm. These twats can't seem to get it in their thick skulls that they are not wanted and the abominations that they create are not, in fact, "revolutionary" or "good".

Feel free to lash out on these fuckers in any way you can. Bonus points if you can coordinate with other people to achieve maximum butthurt potential. Much like bacterial diseases, the stupid things continue to pop up again and again because people don't finish the job. They come back with a flipping passion, twice as hateful, twice as fast with their "writing", and half as intelligent.

Most Repeat Offenders have strikingly similar characteristics. Notice the clammy skin, the beady eyes, and the repulsive hate. I know what you're thinking: "Aw, dude. That looks just like my momma."
Do not be confused!

These hateful little bastards may appear cheap and easy, but they are but the tip of a vulgar iceberg. Fuck them or by God they will fuck you.

Like as was previously recommended, in order to truly take one down, you need cooperation amongst others. Leaving a friendly review doesn't do anything. Anything at all.

Anyway, I hope this clarified a few things for those of you new to the reviewing game. (Fucking Theater Critic being a hypocrite about everything. I'm talking to you.)

1198152

Look at all these useless references to me.

It's not like I'm as bad as Felixdawn

1198152

Look at all these useless references to me.

It's not like I'm as bad as Felixdawn

1198152 Most known Reviewer.... hang on a sec, I may not participate in the group that often, but you guys do help me find the exact shit I want to review.

Anyways, good list. With the new banning system I'm sure the ones like me who make fun of a fic all the way throughout are gonna have a hard time.

1198183 Partly the reason I created this.

1198152 Too much yes. Cannot contain.

1198195 Yeah, i don't feel that comfortble with that on here anymore. If they were to decide to ban my account because I accidentally rage reviewed the wrong fic I might have a bitch fit, oh and just move on to another account. No harm in being a first timer with an excellent fic.

1198224
True, true.

1198203 Thanks. Means a lot.

1198183 Wait, what new banning system?

1198332
Assuming you haven't seen the note from Poultron, it's like this.

If you're a meanie-pants to somebody and they report you then the mods will take action and check into it. If they find it's warranted they will act against you and possibly even ban you. If on the other hand you make warrantless claims against somebody simply because they hurt your feelings and said your story was bad they might actually take action against the complainer.

We'll see how this works out later.

1202966 Thanks, I had found the blog just a while after posting the comment, but I don't think I have a reason to be scared. I don't insult the author, just their story, so they should have no grounds to have me banned if I'm merely criticizing their story.

1202988
I don't think you have anything to worry about but it doesn't hurt to be prudent every so often.

I look at it that provided you don't call the person a name, or constantly harass them you should be fine.

1203103 Not to mention, we might be able to axe TheaterCritic if he begins to become enough of a dick.

1203119
No, I'm a dick. He's a pussy. But he's getting to be so full of shit that he might be turning into an asshole.

1203171 Well, we need to make sure he doesn't so we don't get all covered in shit.

1203188
Exactly.