LessWrong 316 members · 64 stories
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Bit of a story idea I came up with. Lets suppose you run afoul of some really nasty bad guy who decides to inflict one of the most literal instances of To The Pain possible... he turns you into a Zubat! You have no eyes, your legs are but stubs that can only work to pick up things (at most you might be able to pick up an apple), you can only survive by drinking the blood of animals, your mouth cannot form proper speech, and your only strength is your large, perfect ears which can grant you echolocation while letting you hear every curse sent in your direction.

Then he sticks you in the crystal caverns below Canterlot... right around the time Princess Cadence is being imprisoned/impersonated by Queen Chrysalis.

You can't speak with anyone, you are blind so you can't really read/write either... and you can't identify ponies by color or even see their cutie marks, and your diet and appearance would make you rather unpopular with the many different intelligent species in Equestria.

What would you do in that situation?

book_burner
Group Contributor

1387686
Well obviously I need to figure out how to form letters or sign-language figures in the air that ponies can understand, and start communicating my predicament. They're a generally pro-social society, so once I can communicate, this is as good as solved.

I start searching for Lyra.

1387686
Wait to see if starvations beats dehydration.

1387686 Try to figure out how to evolve into a Golbat, I suppose.

1387810

Way to scare off every pony in a ten-mile radius for good. Their mouths are horrifying.

1391464 Then try to evolve into Iksbat? At least I'd got eyes then.

Wait out the fighting, then make my best attempt to be adopted by Luna as her Philomena-equivalent. If my echolocation doesn't curl up and die as soon as it encounters her solid/not-solid/mysticalstarstuff mane, that is.

Failing that, move into a small cave in the Everfree and attack every colt that comes through so that they can level up their pets. I will give pathetic XP, and my supersonic attack will be exceptionally annoying, so at least I'll get the satisfaction of being a major troll while not being dangerous enough for adults to come and exterminate me.

Finally, if a wild Fluttershy appears and attempts to use Stare I will immediately flee, being weak to psychic attacks.

1387686

Step 1, learn Morse code.

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