Long and Short of It short set-update · 2:24am Sep 16th, 2022
>It's morning time for you, Cut N. Paste.
>And typical of your mornings, you and your herd are scattered around the freshly cleaned bathroom, going through each of your morning routines.
>It’d been an interesting few days since Anon got back from his impromptu stallion’s night, and honestly you’ve still failed to process some of it.
>That night was crazy!
>He came home wearing /the/ hottest outfit you’d ever seen, and what does he do?
>He dressed up Pike in colty lingerie and bucked her!
>It was that same blue apron you saw her wear a while ago.
>Understandably, that was very shocking.
>Even more shocking was that once Pike got over the initial embarrassment, she seemed like she /liked/ it.
>At first she didn’t even want you to look at her!
>You’d never seen her like that, all bashful and embarrassed.
>But once the three of you got going...
>Phew! You’re feeling hot and heavy just thinking about it!
>Anon started talking about how he was going to pin her down and show her what a little mare she was, and she was totally into it!
>Pike! Nocturnal Pike, enjoying getting tossed around the bed like a ragdoll.
>It was a side of her you’d have never thought existed, much less ever saw before.
>You’re not judging though!
>Quite the opposite, really.
>When you look at somepony like Pike, it's easy to see a paragon for how mares act instead of an actual mare.
>It's obvious to anyone who meets her that she tries to act like one too.
>But sometimes you get to see the little ways Anon’s managed to bring those walls down.
>Like the plants she grows, the food she cooks, letting her indulge her (slightly) deviant sexual tastes...
>It's nice, even if she tries to explain them away every time you ask her about them.
>Maybe you should keep more of an eye out for things like that, help encourage her too.
>Oh! Kind of like she’s doing for you, except in reverse!
>She’ll help you be more marely and you’ll help her be less marely!
>Hm, mental note: that didn’t even sound good /in/ your head. Never, ever say that to Pike.
>”Uggghhhhh.”
>Your attention is pulled toward the sound of Anon stepping out of the shower.
>Clearly, today will be a slow day for him.
>>”How are you still hungover?” Pike accuses through a mouthful of toothpaste, “It's been /three/ days!”
>”I’m /not/ hungover,” Anon whines back, “Jus gimmie some aspirin and a couple of minutes and I’ll be fine.”
>Pike rolls her eyes but does as he asks, popping open the drawer she’s standing in front of and retrieving the pills.
>>”Seriously, how much wine did you drink that you’ve been hungover for /three days/?”
>Anon throws back some aspirin and swallows them— without water!? What the heck?!
>”I’ll have you know I was only hung over /one/ day. And that was yesterday.”
>Still a little thrown off by his brazen aspirin consumption, your voice comes out shaky.
“Wh-What about the day before then? You were certainly /something/.”
>”Hehe, still drunk...heyooo....”
>That was, by far, the weakest heyo you’ve ever heard a pony mutter.
>>”Anon, that was pathetic.”
>Once again you Pike are in sync, as it seems you are increasingly often.
>Giving quite a bit of credence to the ‘hungover’ theory, that somehow manages to /actually/ fluster him.
>”Yeah well... the pills haven’t kicked in yet so it doesn’t count!”
>>”Oh? What was that Mr. I’m not hungo— mmmf!”
>Anon silenced Pike’s taunt by deftly slinging his towel right into her face.
>Wow, he gave it just enough spin that it wrapped around her head too!
>Caught off guard, she stumbles a bit as a hoof immediately goes to her face.
>Anon ignores her muffled cries though, instead turning over his shoulder to hit you with the unintentionally steamiest look.
>”Sorry for messing up the bathroom you just cleaned.”
>It's probably just the hangover, but his quieter voice combined with his half-lidded eyes...
>Oh mare! That’s the exact look the bad colt love interest gives the protagonist in ‘Sara o arawanakereba naranakatta toki, hon'nosukoshidake osoku natta watashi no chō sōdaina bōken’!
>Quick, you should do like the protagonist does and say something cool!
“Uh, well you can mess up my bathroom any time!”
>Oh Celestia.
>The sound of Pike’s struggling instantly ceases, and one of Anon’s eyebrows shoots way up.
>You already know what they’re going to say, might as well own up to it.
“You two don’t need to say anything, I-I know that was awful.”
>Pike finally pulls the towel off her face, revealing the exact same disappointed look you were expecting.
>Anon’s visibly disappointed in you too, but at least he puts a supportive hoof on your withers.
>”It's okay dear. We’ll just have to work on your one-liners before we have company.”
>Keeping his hoof on you, he rolls his head back to look at Pike.
>”Which will be /soon/, right honey?”
>Pike lets out the second loudest groan you’ve ever heard.
>>”It's bad enough Astral won’t stop bugging me about that while I’m on the job.”
>Unfortunately for Pike, it seems the prospect of teasing her has given him a second wind.
>”Well,” Anon's voice comes out completely devoid of sympathy, “We both agreed to keep bugging you until you set it up so, when’s she coming over? When’s the party?!”
>Pike rolls her eyes before finally tossing the soiled towel over her shoulder.
>>”Anon, having one pony over is /hardly/ a party.”
“About that...” you pipe up. “Anon and I were talking about inviting Silken over too. That way Astral doesn’t feel like a fourth wheel, you know?”
>You’ve been in that position a hoofful of times before and it's never been fun.
>It's always so unbearably awkward!
>Not to mention that crushing feeling that you’re witnessing something you’d never have yourself...
>Well, Pike’s friend probably doesn’t need to worry about that part.
>And now neither would you for that matter!
>>”That’s actually not a terrible idea.” Pike remarks. “But uh, what exactly are the five of us going to do? Just drink?”
>Oooh nuts, you hadn’t thought of that.
>You and Silken usually default to Cyber when you’re together, and who knows what she does with Anon.
>Probably not something Pike’s friend would be into, you’d bet.
>”Leave that to me!” Anon cuts in, “It's been waaaaay too long since I’ve gotten to play host.”
>Huh, you hadn’t expected that from him.
>Evidently Pike hadn’t either, she’s looking just as surprised as you feel!
>>”Alright,” says a bemused Pike, “I hadn’t taken you for a ‘host with the most’ type, Anon.”
>What an... incredibly odd thing to say.
>A 'host with the most' is a pretty stereotypically stalliony description.
>You don't really think that applies to Anon at all, even if he said he wa—
>Aha! Wait a second, you know what this is!
>This is banter!
>She called him that because she wants to gain back some ground after Anon ribbed her about Astral!
>Look at you, starting to pick up on these things.
>Now let’s see how Anon responds...
>”Well I just haven’t had the chance /to/ host! I hang out with like, three ponies and I live with two of ‘em.”
>He... took it completely sincerely.
>”You just worry about getting the word to Astral and I’ll handle everything else! Cut and I need to drop by Silken’s after work today anyway.”
>You do?
“We do?”
>”Of course,” he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. “We can’t have you be the only one /without/ a special sex outfit!”
>Your shock at the sudden turn in conversation nearly knocks the wind out of you.
>You even let out an audible “ooooof”
>>”Guess he really /isn’t/ hungover,” you catch Pike musing under her breath.
>The only thing that comes to your mind when you hear ‘sex outfits’ is every single one of your mom’s pornos that you’re regrettably aware of.
>Usually featuring a teat fetish themed outfit no less.
>So frankly, you’re not really sure you /want/ to be put in some kooky outfit just for sex.
>Unfortunately for you though, in situations like this your mind can only think of one response.
>Deflection.
“N-No, that’s okay. I’m fine.”
>”Nonsense!” He continues completely unabated, “I’ve got my suit now, and Pike has her apron—”
>In a rare show of bashfulness, Pike turns red and looks away from the two of you at the mention of her apron.
>”—so we’ve got to get you something too! I’m thinking something with cowprint would really knock it out of the park. What do you think, hon?”
>At first Pike looked visibly relieved that Anon didn’t linger on the topic of her apron, but then that relief shifts to annoyance.
>>”Anon,” she gripes, “don’t you think you’re milking this teat thing a littl— oh send me to the Moon.”
>You are Anonymous the unicorn, firmly planted at your desk.
>Surrounding you is the now somewhat comforting white noise of everyone in the office going about their day.
>Even Cut’s in the zone, physically cutting and pasting her edits into the articles that have come her way.
>Well then, no reason to keep dallying yourself.
>Turning your attention to the notebook lying in front of you, you dissect what you’ve learned over the past few days.
>It took a while, but you eventually realized what you’d forgotten a few days ago at the wine tasting.
>You both left your notebook there, /and/ you left before hearing what Caesar was so desperate to tell you.
>Thankfully, Caesar saw fit to remedy both these things.
>He had a courier drop off your notebook the next day, complete with his own personal annotations.
>And wow, was reading them a doozy.
>Caesar did not have many positive things about Wind Rider /or/ DuBois Design.
>In fact, you don’t think he had /any/ positives to say at all.
>Just more and more creative ways of insulting them, some of which you’ll have to use yourself at some point.
>And after doing a little research for yourself, you see why.
>The series of events DuBois fed you was dangerously close to being a complete fabrication.
>Nowhere in his retelling of events was the mention of his friend’s hairbrained scheme to destroy some poor mare’s career.
>Which, considering that mare also happens to be a national hero, was a pretty fucking egregious omission.
>If you’d been stupid and just wrote about his version of events whole cloth, you’d have basically shot your own career in the face.
>Thanks for that, Dubious.
>At least Caesar was looking out for you!
>But now you’ve got to ask yourself something.
>Do you just throw all this out and forget about it?
>On the surface, it looks like there’s absolutely no story for you here.
>Wind Rider was unambiguously in the wrong, and seemingly was punished accordingly.
>But nonetheless, you can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more to it.
>Looking out over your desk, you grab the handful of related articles you’d picked up and lay them out in front of you.
>They all say more or less the same thing.
>Wind Rider was a stallion so obsessed with being the best he tried to snuff out a promising young mare’s career just to keep his record around.
>But you just can’t help but wonder, why?
>Sure, you could see that being someone’s motivation back on Earth, but you really don’t think you’ve ever seen a /pony/ ever act so unambiguously malicious before.
>And over something so seemingly minor too, just a speed record?
>No, there’s got to be more to this.
>And you’re going to find out what!
>The shit you’re writing about the outfits Fancy made will keep Jargon off your back for the foreseeable future.
>Which blessedly frees you up to play investigator on this to your heart’s desire!
>Reaching into one of your desk drawers you pull out a much smaller, secret notebook.
>It's a record of all your sources.
>A quick page through it shows that none of them will be of any help though.
>You need someone with a direct connection to the Wonderbolts, and ideally Wind Rider himself, if you want to get anywhere.
>Technically Dubious fits that description, but anything else he’d tell you very obviously wouldn’t be of any use.
>Hm, well, guess you’d better start figuring out if any other current or former Wonderbolts live in town.
>Or book yourself a daytrip to Cloudsdale.
>You are Nocturnal Pike, doing what every guardsmare should.
>Working out!
>Today’s a strength training day, so you and the mares are scattered about the Castle’s training gym.
>You typically keep these pretty free-form, allowing your subordinates to choose what they think needs the most work, and letting them focus on that.
>You, for example, are currently on your back doing some four-legged hoof presses on one of the new ‘weight machines’ the Princesses commissioned.
>It has you lying on your back, all four hooves working together to push a weighted platform.
>14... 15... 16...
>On your back like this, legs up, you can’t help but notice this workout has got you in a very similar position to the one Anon had you in a few nights ago.
>A less disciplined mare might have let that realization distract her, but not you.
>17.. 18... 19...
>The last thing you’d want is for an opponent to exploit your size like Anon does.
>He’s the /only one/ you'll allow.
>And Cut too you guess, if she asked.
>20!
>Letting out a breath of relief, you guide the weight platform back to its resting position and extract yourself from the contraption.
>You might be more of a fan of old fashioned workout techniques, but you can’t deny these new ‘machines’ have their uses.
>Normally an exercise like that requires a pretty serious spotter in case your legs give out, but the machine has a built-in safety!
>Doesn’t mean you still didn’t ask for a spot, though.
>”Lookin’ good!” Astral cheers. “Pretty sure you just beat your personal best on this thing.”
>To punctuate that, she gives the machine a smack.
>Only to immediately jump away from it as it makes the most horrific groan.
>You grimace, the Princesses’ earlier words coming to mind.
“The Princesses did ask us to be gentle with these things, remember?”
>”Yeah,” she weakly adds, “I do now.”
>You shake your head, very disappointed in your number one.
“Come on Astral, if I can’t even trust you around the Crown’s equipment, how am I supposed to trust you around /my/ stuff?”
>”Oh? So we’re on for tomorrow then after all?”
>A small part of you is tempted to say no.
>The more you think about it though, the more you realize you may just be over thinking things.
>Astral’s already met Anon, she knows what to expect.
>And it's not like you’re going to spend the party running around the kitchen or tending to your garden!
>Having her over isn’t going to shatter her idea of you and ruin your friendship, you’re just being dramatic.
“Yeah, of course. Anon and Cut are bringing one of their friends too.”
>She shrugs, expectedly nonchalant.
>”Cool, cool. Oh, speaking of, I did also tell Night Sky about this.”
>What?!
“What!?”
>”Oh come on Pike,” she chides, “You really think your number two doesn’t deserve to meet him /too/?”
>Well, she’s got you there.
>Night’s been your friend for about as long as you’ve been friends with Astral.
>Really, she /does/ deserve to also meet the stallion you’ve been spending so much time with.
>You doubt it’ll really change much anyway.
>Adding one more pony shouldn’t bring in too much chaos.
>Sure, the kind of relationship you and Anon have might come as more of a surprise to her, but she's pretty level headed.
>You doubt it’ll be a problem.
“Alright, alright. But nopony else! Our apartment isn’t that big.”
>Astral rolls her eyes, but you know she gets the picture.
>But, as if on cue, the hairs on the back of your neck start standing up.
>Your finely honed instincts tell you somepony is watching you, right at this very moment.
>And you don’t need a degree to know exactly who it is.
>You don’t even dignify her by turning around to face her before shouting.
“CLOAK! Quit creeping on us and give me twenty!”
>A satisfied smile creeps onto your face as you hear the sounds of a pony doing just that.
>Fantastic!
>Now you’d better go find Rook.
>You did promise to show her some exercises she could do despite her ‘bruised pelvis’.
OH my are we starting to get an actual mystery on our hooves? Also, loving how it appears Blueblood and Anon are becoming friends in a way with all of this screen time these past couple of updates. Yet, judging from the Pike and Astral's talk, they know of Anon but haven't actually seen, or talked to him in function since Pike has been tight lipped. Keep up the good work!
Wait, so all three of them have finally fucked together?
5686698
Oh they've fucked, I just never explicitly referenced it.
It's allways good to see you update
Heh.