Post-classic Simpsons

Intro

The "couch gag"

Cut to the Simpsons family at an activity or event.

Lisa: Yay, we're doing a thing! I'm happy and initially excited because things are normal for the moment!

Marge: Thing is pleasant and I enjoy thing.

Bart: Derogatory comment, crude joke or reference.

Homer: Oooooh, we should do thing as well!

Maggie: Sucks pacifier.

Announcement of some sort: The Simpsons are special, especially Homer in some specific way.

Homer: Woo-hoo!!

Cut to Homer at work a day later.

Lenny walks in: Hi Homer. I'm Lenny and my charming, easy-going nature is appealing to the audience.

Carl walks in a moment after Lenny: I'm Carl and I'm black. I'll subtly remind you I'm black a few times and then you won't see me again.

Homer, mischievously: I am implementing thing I witnessed. It is likely to improve my life and not backfire in any way.

Lenny: Okay, Homer. I'm Lenny.

Carl: Lata Homa. I'm black and my name is Carl. I'm black. I'm the black guy, my name is Carl. Still black. I'm going to act like everything affects me differently because of my skin color, as if that is somehow more significant than hair color or shoe size in relation to the rest of the entire physical universe, because the writers said so. I'm Carl and I'm black.

Homer: Dream sequence involving thing, reference to his slothful behavior or gluttony. Cue music.

Lenny: I'm Lenny. Inconsequential malady may strike me. I'm Lenny.

Lisa: Mom, I'm concerned about dad and thing.

Marge: I'm concerned, too, but my staunch upbringing and submissive nature mean I cope with problems and bury them rather than confronting or intervening in any meaningful way.

Lisa: But what if thing inevitably escalates as it often does? Insert liberal values.

Marge: I'm busy turning a blind eye because of traditional values/upbringing. Your father is special and understanding him is more important than legitimate concern, pragmatic caution or rationality of any sort.

Bart: I'm doing a thing with my friends and learning important life lessons! The 90s were cool!

Krusty the Clown: Hey-hey! I exist and my life sucks! But this episode doesn't center around me, so bye!

Homer: *Meets a swarthy-looking and behaving character*

Swarthy character: I have low moral values and present a specific culture or ethnic background bordering on a stereotype.

Homer: Oooh, that's very interesting.

Swarthy character: Here is a thing to aid you in your quest to pursue thing.

Homer: I accept this without any forethought whatsoever!"

Swarthy character: I will disappear now. Cultures that are not America are interesting. *Shifty eyes*

Homer goes on rampage.

Innocent bystander: I was just minding my own business when your rampage disturbed me! I've bumped into another side character in the process.

Homer: Ha-ha-ha! I am unstoppable! Thing has empowered me and my consideration for others is non-existent! Ha-ha-ha!

Homer: Nothing can stop me! I am causing much property destruction and several side characters like Barney will be mildly inconvenienced but not harmed by my reckless behavior!

Marge: Homer, please, realize that what you are doing is wrong!

Homer: Don't worry, honey, I still love you.

Marge: I am pacified now because Homer loves me and will say no more.

Lisa: Dad, I am smart and you should listen to me!

Bart: What you're doing doesn't make any sense and I'm going to relate it to something simpler!

Lisa: Please stop!

Celebrity appears: Homer, thing has changed you and not for the better. I'm going to relate thing to something of my past or career, and use the time to touch on my personal life.

Homer: *Eyes widen, looks at camera in mild surprise/awe* Wow, I never really thought about it that way. Thank you, celebrity, you've taught me a valuable lesson.

Celebrity: I have related my infinite wisdom to you now and shall depart. Springfield is awesome and you are special because of who you are.

Homer: Woo-hoo!

Entire family thanks celebrity, who departs.

Marge: Thank goodness things are back to normal.

Homer: Yeah, and I love you. But I'm still unchanged on the inside, despite seemingly having learned a valuable lesson.

Bart: Dad will never change! Nothing will change!

Lisa: The future is bright!

Homer: And the whole process will repeat again next week. In fact, I'm probably going to do the same exact thing again, with no significant change to the formula that doesn't involve a celebrity.

Marge: *Groaning noise*

Homer: Woo-hoo! The Simpsons family- me in particular, are so great! Springfield is great! Everything is great, woo-hoo!

The end. Tune in next week for another episode following the same formula. Or don't.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

But you didnt do anything.

:Leonard:Didnt I?:Nimoy: