Long and Short of It Teaser Update · 6:41am Jan 31st, 2022
Something short since its been awhile
>You are the one, the only, Cut N. Paste.
>You audibly grumble as the sunlight streaming through the window lands perfectly on your face, rousing you from your comfortable slumber.
>The first thing you notice upon waking though, is you seem to have pressed your face into somepony’s decadently soft tuft.
>In no rush to get up, you snuggle further into the pony and take a deep breath.
>That... smells nothing like Anon.
>Suddenly a pair of small but strong hooves wraps around your head, pressing you further into the tuft.
>As you’re pushed further and further into the fuzz, an unmistakably feminine voice rings out.
>”Oh, you like that don’t you, slut?”
>Okay, you did not like how that made you feel!
>You should probably pull away... but...
>Pike’s tuft is so soft and voluptuous...
>You can’t look down at your own, pathetic tuft from your current position, but you can feel it.
>Her’s is so much bigger, so much softer...
>You sigh, wistfully.
>Why must your genes be so accursed!?
>Confronted with a paragon of femininity, how can a lowly beta like you not be filled with /totally platonic/ attraction?
>How could you not want to completely drown in your herdsister’s tuft?
>There’s nothing dyke about that!
>But you know what’s even less dyke?
>Dreaming about your coltfriend shoving your face into that same tuft with every thrust as he rails you!
>Nothing homosexual about that!
>Not to imply you have dreamed that, of course.
>...More than three times.
>....Consecutively.
>Suddenly, you feel a familiar weight fall onto you, bringing you back to reality.
>>”Babe, didn’t anyone ever teach you that sharing is caring?”
>Pulling your face back just enough that you can look up, you see that Anon has draped himself over you AND Pike.
>Sometimes it's easy to forget just how big he is, but times like this make it easy to remember.
>H-Hot...
>Shoving his face right next to yours, the both of you enjoy bathing your snoots in Pike’s lovely tuft.
>Now Anon’s in here with you, that DEFINITELY means it's not dyke! Right? RIGHT!?
“Okay, it’s fucked how much longer your years are here.”
>You are Anonymous the unicorn, and as the three of you go through your morning routines, you can’t help but notice how long this winter has felt.
>Mostly because seasons here are actually longer than they are back on Earth.
>”No,” Pike pipes up as she follows you into the bathroom, “what’s bucked is that your Earth months are complete nonsense! Twelve months, each with thirty-five days, makes so much more sense!”
>>”Yeah,” Cut adds through a mouthful of toothpaste. “What were the humans thinking!?”
>Cranking the valve on the shower you resist the urge to sassily roll your eyes.
“Sor~ry humans can’t, you know, control the weather!”
>Pike scoffs as she takes a place at the twin sinks next to Cut, searching for something.
>”Sounds like an excuse to me!”
>You chuckle as you test the water with your hoof.
>Ahhh, nice and warm already.
>Pony water heaters really are magic!
>Without further ado, you cross the threshold and immerse yourself in the wonderful world of a morning shower.
>”Move over, stud!”
>But before you could even think about closing the curtain, Pike zips into the shower with you.
>She cheekily comes to a stop right under you, taking advantage of all the water running off you, and now on to her.
>Blushing a little at the lewd positioning, you briefly consider asking Cut to join you as well.
>However, that thought is immediately snuffed out by the memory of the last time the three of you all tried to squeeze into the shower together.
>Talk about a disaster!
>Pony showers really aren’t meant to have two ponies in them, but THREE!?
>Frankly, you were lucky no one broke anything.
>Pike, meanwhile, is contently humming below you, and you can feel her hips bump your hocks as she lazily sways them side to side.
>”Mmmm, Thanks for volunteering to help me scrub all those hard to reach places.”
>Giving in to the banter you summon your hands...
>...and give Pike’s cute little nips a tweak!
>You can tell her guard was down by how she stiffens under you.
>And by the adorable little shriek she makes!
>”EEEEEEEEEEEEE!”
>After getting ahold of herself again, she glowers up at you, gone is the smugness she entered the shower with.
>”Don’t do that.”
>You blow her a raspberry.
“Fine fine, your nips aren’t as tweakable as Cut’s anyway.”
>The moment those words leave your mouth you hear the sound of a surprised and flustered Cut knocking something over at the sink.
>She must have been listening in, just as you hoped.
>>”Oh jeez!”
>SCORE! That’s two for two, baby!
>With a victorious smile on your face, you get to work scrubbing yourself, and Pike.
>Looking down at her, you have a front row seat to the sight of her glower melting away under the power of your semi-skilled ministrations.
>Today’s going to be a great day, you can already tell!
>Splashing some fresh lather into your hands, you set to work /really/ working it into Pike’s flanks.
>Which she appreciates of course.
>”Mmmmmm.”
>The more you work the suds in, the more she leans into your hands.
>Which, considering they’re not actually attached to anything, is an odd sensation.
>It's almost like you’re both standing above her and standing behind her at the same time.
>Schrödinger's fondle.
>”Don’t think this makes up for twisting my gals.”
>Oh, now you're so, SO very tempted to grab them again, but you resist.
>There’ll be plenty of time for more of that later.
“I know deep down a part of you likes it. And that part can’t hide from me forever!”
>She pleadingly looks up at you, a touch of genuine desperation in her eyes.
>”Isn’t it enough that you’ve got Cut’s to play with?”
>But of course, you are unmoved.
“No.”
>She drops her head into her hoof.
>”Their balls are always fatter when the full moon’s out, just a day or so more,” she mutters under her breath.
>That’s not the reaction you expected.
>A pony saying maybe?
>You make a note to ask her about that later.
“Consider it a small price you’ll pay so we can spend our first Christmas with your parents instead of just as a herd.”
>That makes her stiffen up more than tweaking her nips did!
>Did... you say something wrong?
“Hey, hon, I was kidding about—”
>”It’s not that,” she cuts you off, “it’s... nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
>That’s weird, is there something about going to her parents that’s got her worried?
>What could that possibly be? She’s always spoken so highly of them.
>Another topic to broach when you’re not about to start the day you suppose.
“Hey, speaking of your parents’, have we got Cut in on that plan yet?”
>”Of course we have! We told her...”
>Pike’s statement trails off as Pike searches her memory.
>After more than a few moments of clearly drawing a blank, she calls out beyond the shower in a last ditch effort.
>”We told you about that, right, Cut?”
>>”Um, well, no,” Cut weakly answers.
>Pike looks down at her hooves for a moment, before something dawns on her.
>She turns to you, confusion mixing with dawning horror.
>”Oh Luna, we haven’t planned the trip out there at all, have we?”
>Her realization makes your stomach drop.
>Oh FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
>Unfortunately, you were forced to leave that situation more or less unresolved.
>You and Pike at least got Cut on board, but seeing as you all had to go to work, you were forced to put planning the trip on hold until at least tonight.
>Which left you sitting at your desk, worrying and lamenting.
“Oh God, it's so much closer to the holidays now! Tickets are probably so much more expensive!”
>Cut stops in the middle of her work, looking up and squinting for a bit before turning to you.
>”Why would train tickets get more expensive?”
>>”ANONYMOUS!” a voice yells out from across the office.
>Both you and Cut’s heads swivel to the source of the voice, Jargon’s office.
>>”GET IN HERE!”
>Jargon’s tone, as always, demands immediate attention, so with a shrug towards Cut, you stand up from your desk and head out.
>Seeing as Jargon’s office is on nearly the other side of the office floor, you’ve got quite a little trek ahead of you!
>As usual, you opt to walk around the outside of the cube farm as opposed to through it.
>You prefer the snide comments coming from one direction as opposed to all sides, thank you very much.
>Although, after you started dating Cut, you can’t help but appreciate the direction those comments have taken.
>>>”How did that loser manage to hit THAT?” one mare cries.
>>>>”He must have a fetish,” another chimes in. “You saw the hangers between her legs when she walked in! She didn’t even try to hide them!”
>Their comments turn your canter into distinctly more of a strut, and all the while taunting them in your head.
>Oh yeah, Cut gets a piece of this and you don’t!
>So if you think she’s a loser, what does that say about you, /bitch/?
>The thoughts put a devilishly smug smile on your face.
>But, not wanting to waste more energy on your cringe coworkers than strictly necessary, you turn your attention away from them and towards the office itself.
>You’d never really appreciated it before, but ponies really do their damnedest to liven everything up, even cube farms.
>Despite being an office building, the interior makes you think of a cottage more than anything else.
>The parts of the walls that aren’t dedicated to windows are all extravagantly painted too, full of color and life.
>Even the cubes have some color on them!
>They’re all made of polished wood with white trim, and low walls so you can easily talk to your neighbor!
>You know, they kind of look like—
>Wait a minute, oh my God.
>They’re just stalls, from a barn!
>Pony cubicles are /STALLS/.
>You’ve been working in a STALL this whole time!?
>What the fuck!?
>This revelation disturbed you so deeply you didn’t even notice you’d Jargon’s office.
>This, of course, causes you to run face first right into the door.
“Ah! Fuck.”
>Pausing to rub a hoof on your now sore muzzle, you just barely catch Jargon chuckling to herself and saying something about how ‘stallions walk around with their heads in the clouds’.
>Okay, let’s get this over with then.
>Pushing open Jargon’s door with a /little/ more force than you meant to, you step into her office.
“You called, boss?”
>Very annoyingly, she does not get right to the point.
>>”Ahh, I remember what my husband was like after we first met. It was months later and he was still knocking things off the counter!”
>You sure he wasn’t just scrambling to escape you, Jargon?
>>”I’ll have to set aside some PTO for the two of you come spring. You won’t be able to keep your hooves off each other!”
>You balk a little.
>You’re really not a fan of the implications of her trying to predict your sex life.
>Nor was that even close to one of the things you expected to hear when you walked in today.
>>”I’m sure you’re thinking you don’t want foals now, but no stallion can escape the power of an Earth mare’s fertility!”
>Okay, what the fuck!?
>The vitriol in your head definitely leaks into your response.
“Boss, is this /really/ what you called me over for?”
>She looks at you like you’re insane.
>You certainly /feel/ like you’re going insane, at least.
>>”Of course not! Here, this showed up at the office for you.”
>She taps a gilded envelope on her desk.
>Closing the distance to it, you see ‘gilded’ doesn’t actually do it justice.
>This whole thing is wreathed in an ornate gold pattern depicting two majestic unicorns.
>And written in gold ink is your name, front and center.
>You suppose it must be fan mail or something, otherwise they would have just sent it to Pike’s apartment.
>Curiosity piqued, you pop the envelope open and slide the contents into your magic hands.
>It's, predictably, a letter.
>Surprisingly however, a small gold medallion also falls out.
>Much like what was on the envelope, it depicts a unicorn, this time standing in front of a blazing sun.
>What the hell?
>Turning your attention to the letter, you give it a read.
Dear Anonymous,
I’ve been a fan of your articles for quite some time, and recently I came into possession of some very interesting information. As my favorite gossip writer in the city, I can think of no better pony to share it with! So please, come by the castle this evening at seven sharp, and we can discuss this juicy development. Just show this medallion to the guards and they’ll take you right to me!
Hope to see you soon,
A fan
“Hm.”
>Looking up from the letter, the look Jargon’s giving you makes it intuitively obvious that she expects you to tell her what it says.
>Wow, rude.
“It's a fan. Says they want to meet, that they’ve got a scoop for me.”
>Jargon smiles like a wolf eyeing a fresh piece of meat.
>>”Well, what are you waiting for then? Get going!”
I've started the part 6 ponepaste so the next updates will be posted there https://ponepaste.org/6834 (until otherwise specified), here, and to the thread. Goodnight!
As ever, my only complaint is that there isn't more of this.
Very nice Tease there sir! Are you hinting that Spring is around the corner for our favorite ponies? Also, that package.. could our Grandmaster be a fan of Anon?
5632655
Thank ya!
5632727
Haha, yep! And this climax I thought would be at least 40,000 words earlier than it ended up being haha.
Well, this is new, and an appreciated way to say, great job on the Green Text.
I'm looking forward to where your taking us in Volume 6
Monk
5633369
Thank ya!