Ever wondered what an EQD rejection email looks like? · 9:59am Dec 9th, 2012
It looks like this:
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Response:
Dear Author,
Glad to hear you've taken some time revising your story before resubmitting. That said, I'm unable to approve it for publication at this time; there are still a variety of errors existent in the first chapter of your story alone. I've highlighted some examples for your benefit.
- Firstly, you capitalize words unnecessarily a great deal. Things like Day', 'Night', 'Court', and others. Capitalization is not something done to impart importance to an idea or phrase - it has rules governing its usage, and I don't think any of the above examples warrant it. In addition, there's some discretion to be applied over 'Sun' and 'Moon' specifically - I'd recommend un-capitalizing them, but there's precedence otherwise if you choose to leave them as is.
- You also use all caps for emphasis, which is frowned upon in profession writing. I'd recommend using bold or italics when applicable.
- There are several instances of fragmented sentences, including the following examples;
"Physically, at least, she was still the same as she was before her imprisonment in the Moon. While Celestia had matured, becoming the great ruler the pony folk needed. " "So there were perks. And even the occasional interesting petitioners. "
Parataxis/intentional fragmentation can be a good tool for communicating narrative when used correctly, but right now it just makes your story look disjointed and unprofessional. I'd recommend amending these fragments into complete, conjoined sentences in the interest of readability, as well as the others that pop up here and there.
- As opposed to systematic errors, there are several specific problems I picked up on:
"She was still forgiving and, now, she’d become even more motherly. " - Misplaced comma
"And since then, Luna thought of her as a friend." - unnecessary conjunction
"At least I can’t be replaced any longer. Luna though glumly." framing thought as dialogue requires dialogue-style punctuation
"Luna tried to growl, but it sounded more like a croak mixed with a cough. " this sentence is just dull. Not necessarily in need of correction, but this type of description doesn't add anything to the experience of reading the story
"The truth of it was far from the modern version of the story." the truth of what, history? the object reference is unclear here.
" It was a small sound, almost lost between the door and Luna’s large four poster. " 'four-poster', and should likely add 'bed' to avoid confusion in ambiguous wording.
All-in-all there's still a decent amount of work required here to make the story presentable. In addition, the content itself is fairly meandering; while I personally don't have a problem with a more laid-back approach to starting a story, other folk might find reader engagement necessary from the get go. If you are able to address the above errors (and others), we'll tender our best effort to ascertain the value of the story beyond its introduction.
This is your second strike of three. Please revise wisely before resubmitting.
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While I do see that all of these points are valid, I feel that they are a nitpicky.
A little.
I know I've read stories posted on EQD that had far worse issues. But, whatever, Pony Dreams is basically cannon now thanks to the newest episode.
It always surprises me how picky they are with good stories especially where I have seen some complete hogwash on their site. I don't know, I guess that's just the nature of the beast. I still enjoy your writing a lot more than what I usually see on the EQD lineup.
>2012
>still caring about being featured on EqD
>shiggy
Seriously, much like the feature box here, EqD is no longer any guarantee that the stories featured are even at least mediocre.
I understand why you're upset, but don't be.
I'm going for my second submission of "Concept Art - Captured in Stone" today or tomorrow, depending on how my editor likes the final cut. (and it's been sliced more than cheese). Let me chip in my two bits worth.
A) EqD hates capitalization of things that really NEED to be capitalized for special force, like the Night. (when you're talking about Night, not just that dark period when the sun isn't up). I will never get any of my Night Pegasi stories in there because I capitalize. (well, that and I'm not that good on them) Still, keep it simple. Use an editor.
B) Grammar is critical. Sentence fragments. Tend to break. Their focus. And get ejected. Have somebody (or three preferably) go through your stuff just for nothing but commas and periods.
C) Don't be discouraged. I'd bet 90% of EqD submissions get a canned rejection without more than a glance and a "Run away! Run away!" You actually got feedback. "Concept Art" got *4* pages of feedback and took me 2 months to resubmit. "To Sleep, Perchance to Dream" got 2 pages of feedback, and a positive comment about my selection of poetry as chapter headers (severe damage to my Man-Cred dude). (will add stuff in a minute, real world calling)
D) EqD has particular "flavors" of fics they love more than others. If you have a tasty fic with perfect grammar, loyal readership, many positive comments and they don't like it, it won't go, while some of the worst WTF stories I have seen seem to just zip on in there.
E) If EqD returns your story with suggested edits pointing out REAL errors, for the love of Celestia fix them FIRST before you even think about resubmitting. Yeah its fun to write new stuff, I'm presently popping out a chapter a day of a light-hearted shipping fic, but I'm going to go through Concept Art with a microscope this last time before resubmitting, top to bottom (and I'll *still* miss stuff, I know)
F) Harden up that skin. If you become a "real" author, you will accumulate a collection of rejection letters ten times the weight of any writing you do. (even measured in electrons) Bad Horse has a number of really good "You should read this about writing" articles, and so does the site. Yeah, they're boring, but one objective of writing is to write better not just more.
590480
Well thanks! That means a lot.
590514
I'm not upset, so much as disappointed. I'll just have to keep writing.
590633
Oh well. I will keep working on it. Each of their points are things that have been pointed out to me by my editor before. I just missed them when I revised the first chapter it seems. In later chapters it's hardly an issue at all, but first impressions and all that. I will slog back into it and get those thing cleared up, but, I would rather get out more chapters before I go back and edit those first chapter again(for like the fourth time). EQD can wait for my third submission.