Postmortem: The Dangers of Dreaming · 11:23pm Nov 20th, 2021
Generally, most of my short stories are written in a pretty short length of time. If everything flows well, sometimes it's just under an hour, plus or minus a little time for editing. Shining the Enduring was about three weeks, mostly because I had very high standards for that one.
The master document for this story has a creation date of September 11th. Actual Fimfic publication was November 15th.
Yeah. By any standard, this one was in development for quite a while, especially given the relative shortness.
The issue was not "I don't know where I'm going with this", but "I want to make sure I'm not unnecessarily cruel to Rarity."
There's two reasons for that. The first is the 'easy' one, and it has to do with the concept of Best Pony.
Yes, Rarity is my favorite. That means I tend to be a little more 'careful' when it comes to using her in a story - though it does not mean I shy away from giving her trials and tribulations.
When I first had the idea for this story, I envisioned a scene where Rarity was in love with Twilight, had nightmares about not being able to live that dream, and Luna having to come in and counsel her about an issue where Luna was the superficial cause for the nightmares.
What I didn't have settled was the middle - how to get from "Rarity unrequited love" to "Luna and Rarity in a dream together". And that's where the problems started.
I'm going to insert a cut section here, and then go into the two paths I had in mind to follow it. This would have followed the scene in the boutique.
Rarity had two secrets.
The first was that she was in love with Twilight Sparkle.
The second was that her dreams were no longer those of ordinary ponies.
With a gentle tug of magic, Rarity pulled an old hatbox out from under her bed. The box itself was unremarkable, very similar in appearance to the many others Rarity had stored throughout the boutique. That suited her purposes just fine; the less likely Sweetie Belle was to go snooping, the better.
Setting it on the bed, she flipped the lid off with a hoof, revealing the precious cargo nestled in the felt interior. The sight of the small black book immediately set a flutter in her heart.
Ponies couldn’t control their dreams, not naturally. Rarity knew that Luna had some degree of dream magic, but whether that extended to controlling what she herself dreamed, Rarity wasn’t sure. She doubted it was anything like what this book had taught her to do.
An ever-diminishing part of Rarity wanted to get rid of the book. While the dream shaping magic had proven helpful, the rest of the contents were far less innocent. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, the temptation to use some of them was growing.
Pushing down that thought, she opened the book, flipping past the pages detailing various horrors that she preferred to ignore until she reached the section on dream magic. Her eyes hungrily devoured the relevant section on modifying the enchantments to account for the day’s events.
Moving her sleep mask into position, she made sure the spell was arranged correctly in her head before charging her horn to cast it. The fabric of the mask flashed as it always did, the enchantment ready to be used.
She quickly finished her nightly routine, sliding into bed eagerly. With one smooth motion, she put on the mask, lay back on the pillow, and let the magic go to work.
To get the elephant in the room out of the way, yes, the black book was intended to be a nod to the Black Book from Fallout: Equestria, though not the same book. I was also intending on inserting a small appearance of this black book, with implications as to its origins and prior owner, into a story I'm still working on involving Luna and Celestia (that one should be done soon, but the reference won't be included).
There were two paths I had in mind to build on from this.
First, Luna would detect that Rarity was using the book's magic in the dream realm, and intervene accordingly, warning her about using it in the future, with the same implications that a Nightmare Rarity might result from its use.
Second, Rarity's will to resist the book is overcome by the malevolence within, and she becomes trapped in the dream realm, requiring Luna to go and rescue her.
Is the above section workable? Yes. Could it have been interesting? Most likely.
Why did I not use either, and ultimately cut the book entirely?
First, because bringing the book in immediately draws attention to it. Much like a magician telling you to watch their hand, readers would have been focused on the book, and completely ignoring what I was trying to do with the rest of the story. My intent was to focus on Rarity and Luna, not outside objects.
Second, because it casts a level of...dirt on Rarity, using what is implied to be an object of evil for selfish reasons. Remember what I said earlier about not wanting to be unnecessarily cruel to Rarity? This would fall under that - breaking her character just to tell a story.
Spoilering this next part, for those who haven't read Fallout: Equestria and care about spoilers: This would also have been at odds with Rarity's usage of the Black Book in FoE, where she used an object of clear evil for self-sacrificing reasons, wanting to help protect her friends and other ponies, and not for her own pleasure. That usage made her story tragic, whereas my initial planned usage here just makes her greedy, not generous.
And third, the latter idea turns the focus to Luna having to save Rarity. This story's about Rarity, not Luna.
Now, the second reason I didn't take the path of the book had to do with being measured. There's a tendency in creative endeavors to escalate things - it's not enough for something to be big, it must be huge. Someone can't be ugly, they must be hideous. Call it adjective abuse, or something else, it's a real problem that can affect writing.
In this case, my first instinct was to escalate from the initial concept. Luna wasn't going to just counsel Rarity in an uncomfortable setting, she was going to save her from evil. And then not just from evil, but dark magic that threatened to destroy her and others.
But it wasn't the right fit for Rarity, and wasn't the right fit for what I wanted to tell. So I pulled it back, kept it low-key, and produced something much more tame.
Did it work? Well, let me pull in a few comments from the story, and you can be the judge.
My poor heart
I didn't enjoy the pain poor Rarity went through
It's okay to tell a small story. Especially in in the FiM universe, when a lot of the best episodes were 'small' stories. But more than anything I think the best takeaway is to know what you want to tell, and then figure out if your ideas are matching your goal.
It's okay to consciously change your goal! But make sure it's a conscious choice.
As usual, I'm happy to discuss this further in the comments. There's certainly more paths I considered and could have taken, but that's always the case - I just wanted to focus on these, and share some 'findings' from the writing.
Honestly? I think you made the right choice in doing this.
Too many writers (myself an especially egregious offender of this) tend to do what I call "ADHD writing". This is essentially where one starts off with an idea and a plot, and for some time writes consistently according to those things. Then an idea pops up and you think, "Oh hey, that'd be cool! It'd make this so epic!" and you add it in, knowing it would increase the immediate drama of a scene. Then you get another, and you add it in as well. Then another, and another, and another, until you've added so many things that, upon stepping back from what you've created, have ultimately obscured your original idea and left you with an overcomplicated mess.
I am glad you pulled back from this idea with the black book, because as much as it would have increased the initial drama of the moment, I think you're right in saying it took away from the fact that this is Rarity's story by making her break character and requiring Luna to save her. I like the comparison to FO:E's Rarity and her Black Book as well; it's a good point that really drives the difference in how these techniques could be used. You did good, fam.