Pseudo-Announcing Commissions: The Flat Tire Sale

Fate has smiled upon me, and then immediately backhanded me and said "don't get too excited"

So, i am now in ownership of a vehicle. cool. wow. the issue is that i wasn't planning on having to do any maintenance on top of paying for my overpriced insurance (you get charged extra for liability when you're a delivery monkey) my fucking car now has a flat. cool. awesome. toooootaly didn't need that money in my account for anything else.

so unless my tires were somehow slashed by the dude who made 40 bot accounts to follow me (that *really* freaked me the hell out btw, if that was you, please DM me and at least tell me who you are and why you did it) this means my dumb ass probably bonked my tire a bit somewhere or drove over a nail and it's probably just a cheap fix, but i can't afford a new tire *and* replacement costs ATM, because my insurance is a fiscal sword of damocles hanging over my head, and my bank seems to have a specific fetish for Teusday for some reason, so if i don't have money in my account for the automatic withdrawal, i'm never going to hear the end of it from the US financial system, and that's not the kind of energy i need in my life right now.

Yes yes, I published a shorter chapter, one of my editors actually was a complete angel of a human being and demarkated out nice 5k chapter marks for me, but i was a derp and discarded them, so you get 3 wonky chapters instead of four nice neat ones :p (i seriously don't know how he did it the first time, Crim if you're reading this i'm so sorry QwQ) but you're also getting a bonus chapter that'll reveal why i'm always so cryptic about where the fic is going, and if you can Manifest that answer for yourself, you probably already know where i'm going with it :p

but speaking of long delayed things for initial gratification, the time has come for me to open up public commissions. the starting price is .014 USD per word rounded up, so a 1k fic commission would be 14 dollars, and the max i'll accept at the moment, 10k, would be 140. now if you find yourself saying "Wait sunny, weren't you in some weird underwater city offering up commissions for nearly two thirds of that price?" then you'd somehow be correct (and also stalking me ;3) but in public, you get hit with all the fees and surcharges for asking for some weirdo on the internet to write you whatever you want. the .004c per word is just a prefactoring of my usual .002 "per word" surcharges per fic, and if what you want me to write is incredibly far outside my wheelhouse, you might get hit with one of two, but i'm putting a hard maximum at a full 2c per. i just really desperately need money, and would be rightfully shot for the one reason you're going to have to wait a bit.

My life never seems to stop throwing me curveballs, so i'm behind on my current roster, but i'd estimate that at my current rate, i should be able to get through enough to start on this batch in two weeks. this means that Permafrost will have to go on hiatus for a little bit until everything clears up. if you'd want to see more of that hot and steamy DDxPF clopfic action (the clop comes soon, i promise you, even if it is character-development heavy) you can pay me my usual minimum of .01c per word to make me keep working on it anyways, instead of writing the fic i was supposed to during the planned hiatus to work on that, and the commissions i was supposed to start offering before my car decided to get a flat tire.

So that being said, if you like Perma or any of my other work (if you somehow know where that is) then drop a comment below, and we can talk about what kind of fic you've always dreamed of seeing!