Criticism

Tomorrow I will have a 1 month hiatus from writing stories so I can be better at it I’ll be back in June 1

Can you please criticize my previous stories you can be as harsh as you like

Comments

[ExplosionMare]

I’ll just put some of my thoughts here. This’ll cover the majority of the stories:

- One of the biggest formatting issues I noticed is that a lot of your paragraphs look suuuper long. Part of that is because some of your sentences are quite long. The best way to remedy that is to look at the sentences with lists—if they have more than three or four items, they should probably be condensed.
- Like other people were saying, other characters seem to be way too obedient to the OCs/protagonists than they should be. When people mention giving those OCs flaws, they are usually referring to personality flaws (ex. Stubbornness, low self-esteem, impatience). What really makes a flaw a flaw is when other characters are aware of it (ex. Twilight being annoyed at one of the characters being impatient).
- If you are going to include farts or other various types of vulgar humor, it should either be done sparingly or marked as a fetish. Overdoing it on the fart jokes can easily take away from the rest of the story.
- When shipping characters, it would be nice if the significant other wasn’t forced into a relationship. If you want to make the romances funny, they can still be funny by having the characters bicker from time-to-time or something like that.

I hope some of this helps

[LightningChaser04]

5512286
The last bit is very true. They shipped a soon-to-be great grandma with a 14-16 year old. From a totally different series.

[LightningChaser04]

Wait, you want people to criticise you? Harshly? Why in the universe would you want that? And, why not let me help? Even My Rainbow Dash (a user, not my plushie or action figure) must’ve visited your profile a while back. She’s an awesome writer!

[Dragon Shimmer]

Just send the link whatever you are writting and we will take a look for it

[Dragon Shimmer]

Here some advice if you start to write a story.
1. You have to answer the 5 "Wh" question. "Who?" "Where" "what" "why " when"
2. Don't use the logic like "I am main character so I can take whatever I want without working".This can be count Mary Sue
3. Don't afraid to break your character. Give them despair, dark moment,...
4. If you want to write a topic, you have to research that topic first.
5. You don't have to scare about dark thing of he world. World is gray not pink okay?.

Mine take a look at this if you visit this blog?
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/493830/the-adventures-begin

[Rye Snoot]

There are some stuff of advice for all... I give you my knowledge... there are critics that are good and there are critics of being a child. A story is a story... weather it's terrible or not. If you want to make a story it should be with your knowledge not the people. It's the same as art.

Some people are famous for top notch of anatomy. But there also famous people who also draw stuff with terrible for anatomy. The true question is a person who can get respect if they continue the story from beginning to end. No canceling fictions. This is your time my good friend. Finish what you started.

If people help you it's a good thing... but some advice to change how the writter writes is pretty much what critics wants... if you have bad grammar it is the critic job to point out things as to help... other critics who say shit about stories has no life from existence... I hope you will be well aware of this.

[Dragon Shimmer]

5517093
Meh she out for training there. I gonna prepare harsh word for her

[Normal]

Dawn of the final day

[MelodyStories]

5528838
Yes >:D

[Rye Snoot]

5529016

this may help you too... a little bit... I used this as a reference to get some to like my stories... this may help you.