• Member Since 17th Apr, 2021
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Dragon Shimmer


Just someone who really like dragons. Especially mage dragons and rare dragons.

Sequels1

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Source

This is an alternate dimension adventure featuring Sunset Shimmer. When she gets banished from Equestria, she is invited to join a team and starts a journey with them to find the way back to Equestria.

Just like or dislike if you feel this story good or not good. Your criticism will help me a lot.

(My little pony crossover with Epic Battle Fantasy 3 and 4, owned by Matt Roszak.

The picture is owned by LeonKay.

Warning: Sunset is in her pony form throughout the story. And maybe OOC.

P/S: If chapters have (...) In its name mean the chapter is edited.

Chapters (35)
Comments ( 100 )

Question what's crossover with?

10799912
Eh on description there. I don't plagiarism to anyone don't worry.

Would you like some help editing later tonight?

10799959
Just not an "can't fix" fiction. Maybe I can because i am busy writting chapter 6 here :v

10799959
Or... Writting combine editing is fine xD.

What is this a crossover with? You mention "EBF" but googling that just bring up European banking groups.

10800024
Ack really? Oh boy i have to fix this. Thank you for you comment.

5 likes and 1 Dislike... That a good start.

This is pretty good!

10801789
Tks you, i am thinking about what to do next.

10802095
That's okay. I would suggest trying programs like Grammarly or simply autocorrect, they might be useful. But as I said, it seems like a very good read, good luck with the story!

10802095

I’d be happy to be ur editor!

10802919
Fine. I trust you this but... I don't know how to invite you edit the story xD.
P/S: the next chapter almoost done

10802919
Anyway you should read all of the chapters though.

Nice, but grammar mistakes.. Imma help you with that!

10802925
Ok.. so how can you help with grammar? All chapter is published.

10802922

In a PM. Send me a PM, and I’ll reply with the edits to one chapter. Then you copy-paste that in place of the original. Don’t worry, I won’t change too much. :twilightsmile:

10802930
How about you point it the grammar wrong and fix it? I will fix imidiately

The premise has promise, but problems plague your prose.

Sorry, couldn't help myself. :derpytongue2:

A little trick I like to use is to build the scene in my head and let my imagination act it out. It keeps the dialogue flowing naturally.

10807320
Ok.... She have a long way to find a way to be back though

10807328
I will say that I've yet to see an EBF crossover. Just needs more polish. Maybe an editor.

10807404
Wow you really touch my pain here because I don't have an editor. And I need to think Sunset skills and stuff :v

10807569
Maybe not an editor, maybe just more practice. Keep writing, keep learning, keep improving. :twilightsmile:

Warning: this Sunset Shimmer maybe little OOC.

How so?

10808689
Idk because that the proof that.... I don't know how much about her personality.
If you thing this Sunset is too OOC please let me know and I change the warning.

Okay, wow. That's actually the shortest amount of descriptive writing I've ever seen.😯

10819137
See...... That was I told you in mail xD.

10819147
Yeah, it's like we're polar opposites of each other.

10819137
And how is the story ? ;)

10819151
Kkkkk.... I know. Maybe it just scored at the action not ...storyline :)

10819159
I'm gonna finish this story soon to prepare next part :v

Comment posted by Dragon Shimmer deleted May 17th, 2021

10856393
Okay... Thanks, I guess. But why you give me this link?

It had a comedy tag and it wasn't even ise to funny.

10875147
I have an advice for you. "Please read all of the chapters before doing judgement."

Like elder said, " don't judge the book by its cover." And you are falling to that.

10875156
Your wording is giving me a headache like another writer I know.

10875161
Maybe because you don't have an experiment to read a series. (I have a headache when I first read a series, believe me)

10875164
Dude i read the Illiad in a three week period read a Bible for fun cover to cover in eight months, in a year I read CS Lewis' chronicles of Narnia and about five months to read tolkein's lord of the rings and a week to read his story The hobbit.

10875167
Then why you can't read this series? Judge in the first chapter is not a good point you know?

I will take a judge if I read all the chapter. Look at "The new hero" by "Alex the lone wolf". The
grammar have no wrong, but the content is trash outhere.

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