Friendship is Card Games: Pony Life, Season 2, Week 1 · 11:33am Apr 11th, 2021
Still waiting on either April release from IDW, so that means we turn to Season 2 of Pony Life. Which has seen an… interesting release schedule thus far. Let’s dive in.
Same opening as last season.
Cute Impact
Okay, first off, we come back to the question of whether this sun and moon are manually operated. Second, we’ve got a moon rising in the west, which may raise concerns if the answer to that first question is now (and we still haven’t seen Luna in Pony Life.) Thirdly, “happy new moon.”
Happy. New. Moon.
I know I’ve said that the moon is to time in MLP as the quad is to data size in Star Trek; a handwave of a unit that you shouldn’t think about too hard. But i’s hard to ignore when they keep bringing it up. Also, the moon’s clearly a waning crescent.
And the new moon comes with space-themed pastries. If they don’t introduce Luna in this one, it’ll be a terrible waste.
Ah, the Celestiascope. More specifically, the Celestiascope Mk. II. The Mk. I was pointed at Canterlot. Purely for calibration, of course.
Also, did Twilight arrange this lighting cue with Gummy just beforehand, or do they have a standing arrangement for when she needs dramatic ambience?
Beauty is one of the great things about the night sky. Could’ve done with Twilight saying that in a less insipid way, but the point stands.
Huh. Wasn’t expecting to see Orion after the Equestria-specific constellations. Nice touch.
… And we follow that with Pinkie eating a cupcake. 
Yeesh, even the extinction-event meteors are pink in this world. As are all of the oceans.
Hmm. Trying to appeal to an unresponsive Twilight with pancakes. At least she’s not worried about her house… unless you count the planet as her home.
So, if Twilight’s desperately trying to find something she can do to avert the impending impact, why did she go to Sugarcube corner in the first place?
Wait, if Ponyville has a library other than Twilight’s house, what’s Golden Oaks for?
That said, I do appreciate the local sorting system. Impending doom and the history of Ponyville are closely related topics.
That flat “Why are you here” delivery was perfect. This is how you ask a question without a question mark.
Huh. Interesting portrait of what seems to be a dragon wizard. Spike’s size, but with a beard that would make Star Swirl proud, and a hat that would do the same for Trixie.
Noir Rarity is always a delight.
Feeling like she needs to take on global peril as a solo burden. Yeah, that’s Twilight Sparkle for you. Though it would be nice to get her reasons for why she won’t tell the others.
A studious mare in a library constantly getting interrupted by well-meaning friends… If Moondancer exists in this universe, she’d probably appreciate the irony.
Rarity reading a book with her own smug face on the cover feels ridiculous and perfectly appropriate at the same time.
Honestly, I’m surprised that there are only sixteen volumes of The End of Equestria.
If ever there were a good reason for this Twilight to literally fall to pieces, this is it.
Ah. Not wanting to make her friends worry. I thought as much, but good to have it said explicitly.
Indigo summer? As opposed to the other colors of the rainbow? (Though credit for having the moon wane in the right direction.)
A comet is seen as an omen of doom, but is in fact harmless. Even benevolent! Very suitable. Though the fact that there are celestial objects made of sugar only confirms that this universe was created by chaos-infused Pinkie Pie.
Also, sugary crystals from a comet. Very Super Mario Galaxy.
A rare, once-in-a-lifetime event… with established traditions associated with it. Huh. I have to wonder why this is even in The End of Equestria.
Also, not to rain on the girls’ parade, but it doesn’t really count as a discovery if you just find it in a book somepony else wrote. It’s an important find—consider the old mare's tale about Nightmare Moon's return—but still.
Ah. Pinkie doesn’t have to burst on inflation, but it ends poorly for her. Got to release that pressure somehow.
The Crystal Capturing Contraption
Huh. Continuity. From multiple episodes, no less. Though I don’t see Fluttershy barging onto a live broadcast and declaring herself one of the reporters.
It’s an astronomical phenomenon, Rarity. It’s not like Fluttershy has to talk her way into the comet’s trailer.
Some may ask “Why is Rainbow Dash performing high-speed parkour?” She’s Rainbow Dash. The better question would be “How do you get her to hold still long enough for a conventional interview without her falling asleep?”
Twilight is too focused to talk right now… though given her computer, I am surprised she scoured the physical library before checking online. You’d think information about the comet would be available there. Eh, you can take the bookhorse out of the library, but you can’t take the library out of the bookhorse.
Oh hey. Applejack is actually doing farm work. We’ve seen that all of once before in Pony Life, not counting the opening.
Also, I have to appreciate how AJ has a ladder not for picking apples, but for stacking them on that wheelbarrow.
Yeah, shouldn’t be surprised that this Rarity is using this as an excuse to self-promote. Would it ruin some vast, eternal plan if she were a humbler mare?
Ah, the return of nervoucitement. And Pinkie’s contributions to mad science.
Mount Volcanope is still a thing. Again, nice to see continuity in this madhouse.
Heh. Pinkie channeling Rita Repulsa there. “Make my Flutter grow!”
And apparently the major news channels are accepting amateur submissions. Unexpected, but this is not a world where logic is a priority.
Genuinely good lesson here: Being considerate of your friends cuts both ways. Creative solutions that give everyone what they want are always a good idea.
The Comet Section
Well, if it’s anything like the typical comment section, i can see why Twilight’s concerned.
Zesty. Zesty? I’m going to assume similar names, because the idea of this mare being the local Zesty Gourmand beggars belief… though I could see Pinkie imagine a version of the critic more open to less subtle flavors.
Ponepernicus. I had to replay that bit three times to confirm the pronounciation, but… Ponepernicus. I have to wonder if Celestia ever condemned him for proposing that she spun the planet rather than raised the sun.
I mean, it’s a nasty dynamics problem, especially depending on the nature of the local solar system, but predicting the comet’s path shouldn’t be impossible.
… Ah. Well then. Let’s just hope Rarity didn’t put too much stock in that nigh-random guess. You know, like she’s obviously going to.
Rarity, advertising the party doesn’t work when:
A. It’s begun,
B. You’re doing it from the place you want ponies to come to, and
C. You already have a crowd.
She said it was impossible to predict, Rarity. Listen to the expert. (That said, when the comet’s this close, I’d expect Twilight to get the day right. On the other hand, comets are generally visible for multiple nights.)
Spike, does Steven Universe know you took his guitar?
Oh hey, the third iteration has a much better musical guest. A bit disappointed she didn’t opt for the musical saw, though.
Twilight, this entire universe doesn’t always adhere to the laws of physics. Why would one dirty snowball surprise you?
I really don’t like the idea of magic being completely separate from science. I know some magic systems have a much looser, more… well, mystical interpretation of magic. I admit that a mechanistic view of it may be missing the point, but I still prefer to think of it as a fifth fundamental force. Plus, given how Twilight can still apply math, it’s clear that this is less “magic is separate from science” and more “magic is a different branch of science than the orbital dynamics Twilight’s been using until now.”
That all being said, I can definitely empathize with Twilight. Sometimes the solution is glaringly obvious in hindsight, and sometimes you can only see it with an outside perspective.
Cotton Candy-Colored Glasses
Oh goodness. Why does Dishwater Slog still exist? I’d been hoping that natural selection would’ve caught up to him by now.
Okay, seriously, how many of these mares actually work at Sugarcube Corner?
I have several questions about how Dash was able to make some of that merch. Especially the comet-shaped silly straws.
I’m going to need Rarity to never say “fab-dibby-dabulous” again.
“Remember that thing that you haven’t done yet before it happens so you can never forget it again after it does!”
I feel like Rainbow Dash would be really good at understanding time travel in movies. Well, given that she basically has an in-built flux capacitor in this setting, that shouldn’t come as a surprise.
Yeah, I’m not surprised. Dishwater is exactly the sort of person who’d buy every available GPU to mine cryptocurrency. My only question is how he has any money. “Layabout with a trust fund” is, dare I say it, an actually interesting angle to take with him. Or he’s been mining cryptocurrency.
“Fancy Banana Moonbeam” is almost a believable pony name.
I do hope Dash shouting about the 900% markup killed Dishwater’s sales. Of course, inveterate troll that he is, he probably cares less about making a profit than he does ruining things for other ponies. He does pride himself on being the worst.
Ooh, yet more continuity with Applejack’s hoarding tendencies.
Oh hey, we actually see the banana bandana stand when they zoom out to take in the enormous pair of polarized lenses. Nice to see that thing didn’t come completely out of nowhere,
I know they’d never do it, but I’m a little disappointed no one’s beaten up Dishwater and freely distributed the glasses. Though providing a public service when the market fails to self-correct is nice.
… I swear I’m not trying to be political. That’s actually what happens.
Well. This wasn’t just inoffensive, it was legitimately enjoyable at times. Sadly, Rarity continues to be the worst part of Pony Life. I do wish they knew what to do her. (They think they do, but this is not a franchise that needs the one friend where you wonder why you’re friends with them.)
Now, let’s see how I can convert this cometary clamor:
Skybridge Vendor 1W
Creature — Pegasus Citizen
Flying
Whenever an opponent casts an artifact spell, create a Treasure token. (It’s an artifact with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”)
Vendors naturally fill any and all available space.
1/1
Wise Rabbi 2WW
Creature — Pony Cleric
When Wise Rabbi enters the battlefield, target player becomes the monarch.
Creatures the monarch controls can’t attack you or planeswalkers you control if you have two or more opponents.
“May the Lord bless and keep the czar… far away from us!”
2/2
Ponyville Eschatologist 3WW
Creature — Unicorn Cleric
Flash
If three or more creatures died under your control this turn, you may cast this spell without paying its mana cost.
When Ponyville Eschatologist enters the battlefield, return to the battlefield target creature card in your graveyard that was put there from the battlefield this turn.
3/3
Inspiring Celestiarch 4W
Creature — Noble
Alicorn (This card is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying
Constellation — Whenever an enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
3/3
Majesty of the Cosmos 3U
Sorcery
Draw cards equal to the highest mana value among enchantments you control.
“When I look up at the sky and see the vast majesty of this universe, I realize how small I am. It’s awe-inspiring.”
—Twilight Sparkle, Bearer of Magic
Erroneous Method 3UU
Instant
Counter target spell. Create a 0/0 green and blue Fractal creature token. Put X +1/+1 counters on it, where X is that spell’s mana value.
Twilight decided that if she couldn’t schedule the comet viewing, she could at least guarantee a guest.
Pony on the Scene 3UU
Creature — Pegasus Scout
Flash
Flying
When Pony on the Scene enters the battlefield, if you cast it, draw a card for each spell target player has cast this turn.
“It’s been a storm of activity here, Karen.”
2/1
Sugarcube Tinkerer 4U
Creature — Pony Rigger
Affinity for Contraptions (This spell costs 1 less to cast for each Contraption you control.)
When Sugarcube Tinkerer enters the battlefield, it assembles a Contraption. (Put the top card of your Contraption deck face up onto one of your sprockets.)
3/2
Wishing Comet 4UU
Sorcery
You may choose a noncreature card you own from outside the game, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Exile Wishing Comet with four time counters on it.
Suspend 4—1U (Rather than cast this card from your hand, you may pay 1U and exile it with four time counters on it. At the beginning of your upkeep, remove a time counter. When the last is removed, cast it without paying its mana cost.)
Devouring Void 2B
Enchantment
Constellation — Whenever Devouring Void or another enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, each player sacrifices a creature or planeswalker.
“Ponies never consider the meaning of stars’ absence.”
—Princess Luna
Price Gouging XB
Enchantment
Price Gouging enters the battlefield with X gold counters on it.
Whenever a player casts a spell with mana value equal to the number of gold counters on Price Gouging, that player loses 4 life.
Most metaphors turn literal on Ungula.
Radical Theory 2RR
Instant
Discard all the cards in your hand, then draw that many cards. When you do, Radical Theory deals damage to any target equal to the number of cards discarded this way.
Hearing the word “heliocentric” never fails to make Celestia smile.
Frenetic Pegasus 3R
Creature — Pegasus Warrior
Flying
Frenetic Pegasus can’t block.
Whenever Frenetic Pegasus attacks, flip a coin. If you win the flip, double Frenetic Pegasus’s power until end of turn.
Sitting still simply isn’t possible for some pegasi.
2/3
Disastrous Impact 6RR
Sorcery
Disastrous Impact deals 5 damage divided as you choose among any number of targets.
Foretell 3RR (During your turn, you may pay 2 and exile this card from your hand face down. Cast it on a later turn for its foretell cost.)
Crystalline Aurora 1G
Enchantment
Constellation — Whenever Crystalline Aurora or another enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, add one mana of any color.
Vast debris fields of condensed mana hang just out of mortal reach.
Banana Commando 3G
Creature — Plant Rogue
Banana Commando can’t be blocked by creatures with power 2 or less.
Whenever Banana Commando deals combat damage to a player, it deals damage equal to its power to up to one target creature that player controls.
3/2
Sandwich Crafter 3G
Creature — Pony Artificer
Vigilance
If you would gain life, you gain that much life plus X instead, where X is Sandwich Crafter’s power.
Feeding the world is a worthy goal for any innovator.
2/4
Motley Band 4G
Creature — Band
Changeling (This card is every creature type.)
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, create a 2/2 blue Shapeshifter creature token with changeling.
All styles welcome, especially all at once.
4/4
Polarized Lenses 2
Artifact
Whenever you cast a multicolored spell, you gain 1 life for each of that spell’s colors.
“Weaving the mana together is an art form in its own right, one few can appreciate.”
—Ditzy Doo
Starfletched Quiver 2
Enchantment Artifact — Equipment
Constellation — Whenever Starfletched Quiver or another enchantment enters the battlefield under your control, put an arrow counter on Starfletched Quiver.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each arrow counter on Starfletched Quiver.
Equip 2
Founder Dragon’s Portrait 3
Artifact
T: Add one mana of any color.
Magecraft — Whenever you cast or copy an instant or sorcery spell, untap Founder Dragon’s Portrait.
Some of the Biblioplex’s works of art have no words.
Stellar Sucrosucker
Artifact — Contraption
Whenever you crank Stellar Sucrosucker, put two charge counters on it.
Remove a charge counter from Stellar Sucrosucker: Add one mana of any color.
Aegis of the Heavens 1(gw)(gw)
Enchantment
Flash
You and permanents you control have hexproof as long as Aegis of the Heavens or another enchantment entered the battlefield under your control this turn.
Hostile Buyout 2WU
Enchantment
Flash
When Hostile Buyout enters the battlefield, exile target spell.
Your opponents can’t cast spells with the same name as the exiled card.
4WU, Sacrifice Hostile Buyout: You may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost.
Industrial Size 3GU
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant artifact
As long as enchanted artifact is a creature, it gets +4/+4 and has reach.
Whenever you activate an ability of enchanted artifact, if it isn’t a mana ability, you may pay 3. If you do, copy that ability twice. You may choose new targets for the copies.
The questions about Luna, the nature of the cosmos in the Pony Life universe, and perhaps even said universe's origins, all will find an answer in an unexpected way. Maybe. You'll see.
We did already see a library last season. And I'm pretty sure the librarian pegasus we saw then shows up again in this episode.
Or are there? wink wink nudge nudge somebody else besides FoME please read TBCtC
Pretty sure it isn't, actually. Twilight looked through all the volumes and found nothing, and afterwards the girls began looking through other books as well. Twilight's obsession with the comet being malevolent may have been what was keeping her from finding information on it in the first place, actually.
I've said it before, but having seen half of this season already I can repeat it: Continuity is the one aspect where Pony Life indisputably beats FiM, and many other shows too. It might actually get a bit too wrapped up in self-references at one point a few episodes down the line, but even still the level of continuity between every episode is something to admire.
Pinkie saying 'nervicited' again is actually rather nice when you remember where and when she originally said it. Okay, I'm reaching here, but I'll take what I can get as far as ties between the horseshow and the human horseshow go. I'm sure you can understand me on that.
I feel the need to point this out because you didn't: Applejack mentions those glasses belonged to a distant relative of hers. Now, maybe they built a pair of giant glasses instead of something more practical just because. But I'm going to headcanon said relative as being a dragon and you can't stop me.
I feel like 'speak for yourself' would be needlessly rude and uncalled for, especially when that is clearly what you're doing. I will say though that I, personally, absolutely adore her in this. She's almost every bad trait FiM Rarity had, and that's half the reason I like FiM Rarity.
A couple typos/missing things in the card games section:
"A picture is worth a thousand words, so we need 49 more of these before we can count it as a book" -Velomachus Lorehold, probably
Inside Baseball Alert: Wishing Comet is a self-recurring wish effect because of course it is.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Arrow counters and gold counters both already exist. If you somehow manage to turn the cards here into creatures, this can make Price Gouging unable to attack or turn Starfletched Quiver into a devastating turret (but be careful in the latter case, because Equipment that's a creature can't be equipped). Having something that's a copy of Price Gouging at some points and a copy of Dragon's Hoard at others is one of those things that will get silly and weird but not really do anything in competitive play... and vindicates FoME's choice to reuse a counter in ways that can potentially end up mattering.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Exiling a spell from the stack prevents it from resolving, even if it "can't be countered". Also, you're in blue/white, who are respectively the best at returning things on the field to the hand and exiling things only to return them immediately. Both of those will let you reuse the better-than-counterspell for way cheaper than the first pass and get me worried enough to issue a Play Design Alert for being hard counters.
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Both only give themselves the counters. How would the quiver and archery training synergize, creature or not?
The aurification interaction with a creature price gouging is kinda funny though, especially if used to change the value of spells getting affected to 0.
In a similar vein maybe there should be more things that give people serf tokens so that they all run away as soon as a single autocrat dies.
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Misreading, obviously. (There are probably still some shenanigans you can pull involving The Ozolith, but that's like saying water is wet)
I haven't watched much Pony Life, so I'm curious - was there a rabbinical pony (or an actual Fiddler reference), in one of these, or was it just an extension of the one you made further up?
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What's TBCtC?
5495346
Fair point on Hostile Buyout. That one could've used a bit more refining.
5496102
Rarity makes an in-name-only reference to Fiddler in "The Crystal Capturing Contraption." I couldn't pass up the opportunity.
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Color me intrigued.
... Huh. Seems I didn't question the library back when reviewing "Cutepocalpyse Meow," but that was back when I knew nothing about Twilight's living conditions. Well, no one said there couldn't be two libraries in town.
Excellent point. I hadn't considered that.
Absolutely. Give us Pony Life!Sunset, cowards.
A dragon in the Apple family honestly wouldn't surprise me. Well, not by much. I figured there'd be more nature spirits involved.
And thanks on the typo catches.
I was rewatching Pony Life from the start, and I noticed Zesty was actually one of the judges for the cooking show back in episode 1. Hooray for even more continuity.
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One of the few stories on this site that actually has the Pony Life tag. So you can just look through those and you'll recognise it based on the title.