Not...dead...yet... · 3:38am Apr 7th, 2021
Okay...so it's been a real roller-coaster since about 2017.
2017 - my father has a major medical issue and lost some mental capacity and started down the road of dementia. We had to move him out of his basement apartment. I ended up with all his tools and his motorcycle in my garage clogging absolutely everything.
2018 - in December of 2018 Mrs. Greymane was diagnosed with cervical cancer and started treatment. The first treatments were chemotherapy, external radiation, and internal radiation. This killed the initial mass but another one was found.
2019 - I was diagnosed with Charcot Syndrome in my right foot. It had to be basically taken apart and internally fixated with metal and a battery powered bone growth stimulator. This put me off my feet until...
2020 - I was back on my feet. Mrs. Greymane was on her third mass found - this one discovered to be inoperable as it was in the area of the "bony pelvis" which has too many blood vessels - the risk of death was too great. So...more chemo. Meantime on August 17th of 2020 I was let go from my long-term remote position that I'd worked faithfully for about 8 years. They let me go a week after we found out about my wife's inoperable mass. I took a week to process my wife's condition and they let me go right after. *sigh*
2021 - Mrs. Greymane is on her fourth mass found and also fourth run of chemotherapy. I've been unemployed and job hunting all this time at age 52 in a field that considers me dead by age 30. (I/T) And I watch my father two days out of the week along with being a full time dad to an autistic daughter.
Add a pandemic, losing friends to such, politics, all the technical stuff I still have to do for Celestia Radio, and SO many other things...I lost SO many spoons over the last few years.
Now. There is some hope. We are in-process for me to take on a paid caregiver position for a family member (not my dad or Mrs. Greymane) that will leave me at home...paid...without having to go out every day or job hunt or do all sorts of other things. We will be managing this to give me two things that I've never had together - both time and money.
And frankly I'm afraid. I'm afraid of something killing this miracle dead in the water. I'm afraid that I'm the guy in the Twilight Zone that has all the time in the world to read but breaks his glasses.
But at least now there's some hope. Hope I can make it back to writing. Hope I can stream again. Hope I can FINALLY get CR streaming on an SSL feed. Hope we can pay off our bills. (HAHAHAHAHA! Yeah right!) It's nice to have hope even if it scares me.
As for Mrs. Greymane she's a trooper. She still works remotely full time and is always pushing to overcome her issues. She has trouble walking - because a stupid doctor kept her bedridden far too long and her Achilles tendon tightened up too much - but she is still going.
And I am too.
I haven't ever stopped writing really...just nothing any length and nothing MLP related. It's like every time I tried then I'd be interrupted. Unless I stayed up late - which left me dead for work or other duties. This time I should have the opportunity to pursue that again.
If the universe doesn't break my glasses...
My fingers are tightly crossed for you.