Feathered Heart v2 - Chapter 5 now available on Google Docs · 4:51pm Mar 14th, 2021
Sorry for the delay, as I made multiple passes over several days and kept coming up with things that needed adding or fixing. But it's finally ready. The content is dramatically expanded over the previous version, now containing over 10,400 words. So it should be plenty juicy; my prereaders said it was very compelling to read. Click the following link, and you'll see the new chapter available at the bottom. No account is needed to view.
The chapter corresponds to basically the last half of the original story's chapter 3. It covers the aftermath of Gilda and Fortrakt's first day with the humans, including and especially Gilda's reaction to seeing the movie Warrior, before heading into the attack of two young griffons on Chris and Marco. There is a lot more content in this version, including some spoilers for the movie itself. If you haven't seen before, I highly recommend it. It's damn good and to my eyes, a pretty decent depiction of MMA fighting.
For the chapter itself, some things to keep in mind.
- First, a reminder that I'm using Roman ranks; the same ones I'm using for the Gryphons in the Firefly series. Gilda is (for now) a Decurion--basically a Second Lieutenant--and not a sub-Tribune, as that's just too big a jump in rank to start, in my view.
- Second, as the griffies are basically Roman, I'm officially saying that their spoken language of Aeric is in fact an evolved version of Latin involving avian sounds like trills and squawks. That will be mentioned directly in this chapter.
Third and finally, the question of command chains, like the one Gilda wears, has vexed me a bit from the beginning. They were a symbol of authority, but it was never quite explained how or what they were.
So I've come up with a scheme for them. It'll be detailed more later, but command chains do NOT automatically come with rank; they represent additional authority from a separate source. Gilda's iron chain indicates she acts with diplomatic authority, giving her authority in turn over civilians and soldiers in diplomatic matters, such as involving the Kingdom's human guests.
As always, thanks go to AJ_Aficionado, Silentwoodfire and Silverblade5 for the prereads and edits, including an array of suggestions, fixes, and comments. Since comments are turned off on the Google Doc--if I turned them on, the chapter could quickly get very cluttered--you are invited to comment on the new chapter here. Hope you enjoy!
I don't suppose can you do a master post that you update with the links to all the individual (new) chapters? I usually skim blog posts and this is the first time I've seen a chapter link.
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Sorry you missed my earlier posts.
I announced the initial release here:
https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/937663/first-five-feathered-heart-edited-chapters-ready
I've updated this blog to point to the Google Docs folder in which the chapter resides. It's the story folder, and all edited chapters are available through it. I hope that does the trick for you.
The reason I'm not posting them to a new story on fimfiction is because I'm not allowed to. The Mods denied me permission to post chapters from an existing story to a new one, not even from an abandoned account, and not even if the updated chapters had been heavily expanded and edited.
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It's not your fault I missed it, thanks for reposting the link.
This might actually provide good fodder for you next Firefly Appendix chapter. It would be nice to see how authority gets delegated beyond the standard rank structure.
Would it be accurate to say that most chains act as a brevit? For instance, "this griffin might not have rank, be he acts on my authority and speaks with my voice"? Something like that?
That is an interesting idea about the chains. It gives an official system for granted authority for others to be more easily able to see instead of having to know beforehand that Colonel Mustard is in charge of some expedition to the Ballroom (No Pipes allowed!).
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Np. Hope you've enjoyed the updated chapters.
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You know what? That's actually a very good idea. I'll see about doing just that.
Well, yes and no. When you're breveted, you receive a sorta-but-not-really rank increase where you get called by the new title but don't necessary get any increase in pay or authority. In wartime, it was typically used for battlefield promotions (and will be here as well in due course). The command chains, by contrast, are basically an add-on to your current rank, and indicate you act in the name or interests of whatever the chain conveys.
I'm currently thinking there are five command chain types: Diplomatic, Civilian, Talon, Knight, and Intelligence. Diplomatic is what Gilda now has. Civilian means you act with the authority of the local civilian government and can, say, command local police forces. Talon and Knight means you can command those units even if you're not otherwise entitled to do so. Intelligence... means do what I say and don't question it.
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Thanks! See my previous comment for my current thinking on command chains.
And besides, it was Mister Green in the Hall with the revolver.
https://youtu.be/TpU_JngJ1EI?t=270
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Interesting. Would there ever be a scenario where a Gryphon would wear multiple command chains at once? Right now I'm picturing a particularly active griffin just changing command chains every couple hours to act whatever capacity is needed at the time. It gets really intense when factoring in multi service operations while still being below the current level of Gaius.