Let's try something + update

It's been a while since I last posted or really done anything here. So, let's have an update on what I've been doing these last months.

I have been the centre of multiple issues that have forced bridges to be burnt. I am not happy with being included in these events, and am more disappointed and angry with myself. Then I do with those involved, I recognise that I have failed to prevent stopping the incidents from happening altogether. And failing to stop progressing the situation, only letting it flourish bigger along with the others involved. When it comes to giving my opinion and voice to situations, beliefs or my feelings. I am not the best equipped with being able to them without misunderstanding, which I feel is a theme with the issues I am a part of.

I am too quick to act defensively and have been taught to not sugar coat nor to feel bad about saying my opinion or voice and defending those. Believing in apologising when you do not genuinely feel sorry is not something I hold, no matter if it is just to let someone else feel better. And I am slow to properly calm down. I am more than happy to explain that what is my voice or opinion. However, it is preferable that it is asked in a non-combative way. Adding fuel or attacks to the fire will not help the situation. During any conflict no singular side is without fault nor reason. I do hope that my relationships with these people will improve, yet I do not believe that the hope will ever see light. I am not purely negative, but I believe that it's easy to do harm and be painted as one that only does evil, but it is hard and sometimes never perceived to be good. And I am not looking for reception on my hope, I just wish to say it.

Because of these events and a more personal one resulting in a mental breakdown. I've started to get anger management classes to try and get help productively deal with my anger that makes me irritable or explosive if the right buttons are pressed. Or if I am within a certain situation that doesn't let me cool off, so I've started to try and get help.

I've been unmotivated, and struggling to really create whether that be through writing to give stories or drawing to animate. It's not like I don't try, I can get everything set up, everything ready, but when it comes to putting the word on the page or pen to paper. Something has been stopping me, like a hand holding my arm and fingers back. It's weird and I know I can really only blame myself for my problems.

Because of this, I have many unfinished fics that I have partly worked on that either never have a conclusion or are too short to post. Others however still need editing or to be completely redesigned and thought through. And I feel terrible for not letting those who have been or was excited to see some progression made.

I've decided that, I will post some chapters or works that I have saved up. No matter if they are unfinished, need work or are too short. When I have gotten the ability to work on them, they will be updated replacing what was there. I'm aware of the problems this might have as some people may not revive notification of this change. You may be confused with the lore as recoining and replacement will be something you would experience first-hand due to this. Or you could be spoiled of certain ideals or scenes, so I have decided that I will label these chapters. When finished, unless asked not to, I will delete or move the unfinished chapters. If they are moved they will be put in another "Story" holding the unedited, and if asked I could expand on one of them like an alternate universe to the story. But they will be given a similar treatment as my studies take priority.

I hope you all have a good future.