State Of The Author - A Return To Form · 8:44pm Oct 15th, 2020
(Art by Mirroredesa)
As of right now, I'm doing well. Hope that continues forward through the day, as today hasn't been too bad, aside from a few unsavory people at work.
I first and foremost want to talk about something that has been bothering me, and might have been present in previous blogs of mine. I am not happy with how political some of them were, despite my opinions on the matter presented, some of which has changed quite a bit, I do not want to be known for those opinions. I want to be known for my writing and my hard work and effort to make something worth people's time.
As such I am going to delete any related blogs that I find subtract from my overall goal of entertainment, thoughtful discussion, and so on. It really has been weighing on me, especially since I still to this day get reminded of it, and quite frankly I'm done thinking about it. I just want to be that writer guy who you sometimes enjoy reading.
And speaking of such a thing, I am getting back into the groove of writing again. I find my muse with it comes in goes like the tides of the sea, or like the seasons of the year. Whenever I happen to get into a big reading mood, I also happen to be inspired to write, and write I have! Currently I have three and a half thousand words done on my latest project. I am still in the beginning phases of it, so I expect it to be on the long side for one-shots. Much like my other story "Like All The Other Kids."
It's a rather personal work for me, as it tackles themes and ideas that I face in my daily life. I find writing from experience tends to make my strongest work, such as my Chrysalis trilogy of stories, though the first two are easily stronger than the last. My only hope is that I can do justice to myself, and justice to the entertainment of those I will be providing for.
There is also one last matter I wish to discuss, or more so ask that is. As someone of poor wealth and under obligation of work and the like, what advice would there be for getting into College and pursuing a career in the sciences. To be more precise, I have a deep fascination with marine biology, astrophysics and astronomy.
(Art by Discordthege)
Were it not for personal reasons that I won't state, and those mentioned above, I would happily already be in the midst of getting my degree in one of those fields of study. However that is not what I am currently doing, so paying that mind only slows me down. I simply ask advice, preferably in depth, on how I may remedy such a situation. I yearn deeply for this, as it has been a dream, and goal of mine since as long as I can remember.
I feel deep regret and guilt for myself each day I miss out on it.
There was a time I was at the top of my class in high school, sophomore year, and with personal problems I lost out on a lot when that dropped out from under me. I just want to get back on track and live the life I wish to live. I have an itch for knowledge I just can't seem to scratch, and I grow restless. No matter how much I work another day, no matter how much I try to make the most of my time, that will not change.
So again, advice would be highly appreciated.
~ Not Enough Coffee
Great to hear from you and cool artwork
Hey dude, glad to hear things are okay! I understand completely why you'd want to remove those blogs.
Also regarding colleges: I don't have a great answer onhand unfortunately, but my first thought is to look into scholarships. Those sorts of things are there to help if you meet their criteria. I will say however, to take a good amount of time to see which college can give you the best education for what you want to pursue. Some colleges are better than others at certain majors, so keep it in mind. Not to mention, take a look at job prospects for the major you're targeting, as well.
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For sure on the job prospects. I would love to have money with my piece of paper.
You know. It's during these past few months I've come to a simple conclusion about a lot of things, actually...
Politics, drama, things like that... they're sheer dopamine.
Art? Life's passions? Those are pure endorphins.
Eventually, after you dull yourself and depress yourself trying to get that hit of dopamine... and you either keep chasing it, or you find what else makes you feel more complete.
It's been... an interesting journey for me. But slowly, ever so slowly, I've started to move past the gratification to something far more fulfilling.
... Even if I suck at most forms of art, writing or otherwise...
At this point, I'm just starting to distance myself from a past I'm unwilling to let continue to grasp onto me, dragging me back into a hole of continually draining creativity and just... depression.
Slow as it is, it's working. Even if my phone has been on 'Do Not Disturb' for like a month by now.
Honestly man, I totally understand that restless feeling. Like you're never really satisfied. And the biting guilt every time you remember any reason why it's gotten to this point.
My best advice for anything? Chase what makes you happy, and do your damn best to tell the world to fuck itself every time it tries to drag you back.
It's generic, yes. But it works.
Now here's to hoping we can find the infinity stones and dust this damn virus...
For more realistic advice... I'm afraid I can't give it. Neither the wisdom nor age to have it. But I hope you know, I'll be here to cheer you on, either way.
One member of the melancholy trolley to another.
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I think I did cover that quite well. It's an ever biting itch that I can't escape. A mix of my insatiable curiosity and self-hate. I always have to be working on something to better my knowledge of the world and myself, less I grow more weary than usual. If I had all the money in the world, I'd use what was needed to just be a scholar for what I loved, and the rest to better what is around me. That way I could live a life I'd enjoy, and those I care for could rest easy.
And yes, I'm constantly trying to battle for what I love, and disregarding those who try and take that from me. It's good advice, bro. And as you are well aware of, cutting away from certain past situations has done wonders for the lack of personable drama as of late.
Yes please. Take me too while you're at it. :^)
You are wise beyond your years. From one member of the melancholy trolley to another.