It's Okay To Be Yourself · 10:17am Sep 26th, 2020
It's Okay To Be Yourself
One of the hardest things to be is true to yourself because when you are being the real you not everyone is going to like or appreciate who you are.
But you should be yourself anyway. You shouldn't have to change who you are to fit in or get along with people.
There's always room for improvement. If you have someone close to you who tells that you do something that bothers them, you should try to respect the feelings of that person and not do the things that bother them when they are around.
But there's a difference between that and completely changing who you are to suit the needs of someone else.
If someone makes you feel dumb or like you have to defend yourself or baits you into an argument to make you feel like a bad person for defending yourself, recognize that this is abusive behavior.
No one has the right to call you names, belittle you, or make you feel like a bad person for having a different point of view.
It's okay to have discussions with people where you exchange ideas. But it's not okay to make people feel bad for feeling or thinking the things they do. You should simply present more evidence about your case and say that you also respect the evidence and ideas that other people are sharing.
No one should ever make you feel bad for feeling upset, depressed, or needing someone to talk to. Talking about feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts does not make you a bad person. It doesn't mean you are trying to get attention or are any less of a person for expressing your feelings. It makes you a brave person for speaking about your problems and seeking help.
If someone tells you not to share your problems or you are just trying to get attention, that's abusive behavior. A lot of the time talking about feeling suicidal is the only thing that prevents it. You could be saving someone's life simply by listening to them.
No one should ever make you feel bad for tying to help them or offering advice. Healthy relationships are built on helping each other and establishing trust. If someone is making you feel bad for lending support or trying to be there for them, this is abusive behvior.
If there are many people telling you are a bad person and you need to change to be what their idea of normal is, this is also abusive behavior. You dont have to be like other people. It's better to be an individual and like the things you like and have your own unique views of the world.
It's not the responsibility of people to change who you are. True change comes from within. So while it's good to take suggestions on how to improve as a person from others, and even good at times because a lot of the time you can't see outside of yourself and it's good to have an outsider view/ opinion, you don't have to change just because someone tells you too.
You should never have to apologize for loving or caring about people. If people put you down or make you feel bad for caring about them, that is abusive behavior. There's also nothing wrong with telling people you love them whether they return the feelings or not. If someone makes you feel bad simply for saying you like them, that is not acceptable behavior and is disrespectful to other person's feelings.
You are also not bad or evil for simply being born the way you are. There's nothing wrong with being male, female, trans, gay, straight, having a disability, or any other way you were created to be in the world. If someone makes you feel bad for something outside of your control like your genetics, that's abusive behavior.
Abusive people often make you feel suspicious of people around you and like you can't reach out for help because they've already told lies about you to everyone so the people around you don't believe what you are saying.
There is always at least one person who will listen to you, even if no one else will. Don't let an abusive person intimidate or scare you away from telling the truth. It's okay to speak up and tell others what has happened to you. You aren't a bad person for telling the truth.
No one has the right to tell you that they don't like the things you do and you are bad at what you do, when they are saying it maliciously and not offering any advice on how to improve. It's okay to critique others, that's part of the creative process and how we grow as creators. But if someone is constantly putting down your ideas and everything you do, that is abusive behavior.
A lot of the time they are trying to bait a response from you to lord over you later. You are not responsible for feeling angry or hurt at what they said and saying something in return. This is a common manipulation tactic to to turn what you said back on you and make you feel bad about it.
Recognize this behavior and don't fall into that trap. Simply walk away from being baited into an argument that can later be turned around to make you look bad.
It's okay to not tolerate bad, evil, or illegal things like stealing, animal abuse, murder, harassment, trafficking, or other illegal or criminal activities. And if you know someone who is involved in these things you should try to get them help and give them the support they need to get out of that lifestyle.
If they've done something really bad like murdering someone, then you should report what they've done to law enforcement, even if it's hard because it's someone you know and care about. Maybe being in jail will be the only thing that can change their lives around.
If you are abusive, it's not okay to be abusive towards other people. It's okay to be YOU. But it's not okay to have abusive behavior. If you are acting in a way that's abusive toward yourself or others, it's okay to seek help.
No one ever has to be an abuser or abusive towards other people. It's a learned behavior. Sometimes it's the result of trauma or abuse. Sometimes it's due to something outside of their control, like a personality disorder.
One way or another, being abusive is not who a person is. They can get the help they need to change and become a better person.
At the end of the day you have to be true to yourself. You shouldn't feel bad about having a different point of view or feel like you have to apologize for being who you are.
If anyone makes you feel that way, it's abusive behavior and you should leave that environment immediately. It's not okay for other people to make you feel less than who you are.
Amen
5364427 Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope you find some inspiration in it. :3
5364430 I have, and besides, I always prefer to be myself, after all, there's only one me
5364533 This is very true. There's only one of you so always be the best you possible.
5364628 Agreed
5364630 Yay
I'm gonna do my best to not make this too political, but be warned, there will be a little of it.
I'm always myself. I never pretend or fake, nor do I falter in my beliefs. Said beliefs has caused me to get branded as a racist by other Swedish people. I even lost someone whom I considered a close friend when I told her. Why am I being called a racist?
Because I vote for Sverigedemokraterna, The Sweden Democrats. They are considered "racist" by the rest of the government and mainstream media. The party and we, it's followers, have been called nazis, sexists, mysoginists, ruthless killers, islamophobes, homophobes. Bsically, if you look up an insult, we have had it thrown at us.
The rest of the politicians in Sweden are so extreme in their views, that followers of SD has lost friends, family, jobs, homes, all because they're so-called evil racists worse than Hitler.
Just look at their campaign video from the last election. It has English subtitles. Tell me, do you see any of the negative stuff I've mentioned us being called here?
Sorry if this became too political, I just.. wanted to say what's on my mind. My mind. My own. Because I am myself, and I'm not ashamed of it.
But to even it out, I will say this: of course there's racists within the followers of SD, that's not even speculation, it is fact. But they don't make up the majority, but rather the loud minority. SD is a right-wing party, while The Social Democrats are left-wing. But it's important to note that neither side is good or bad, despite the governments claims to the contrary(Them -- good guys, SD -- pure evil), and both sides have good and bad attributes and followers. Go to the extreme on the right, and you get nazism. Too far to the left becomes communism.
What I'm trying to say is that both parts have good and bad people, and neither is more inherently "right" than the other.
Again, I'm sorry if this became too political. Just say the word and I'll take the comment down if you so wish
5364635 I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I think there is a campaign in most countries to try to take people's rights away. And that's why they target the parties that protect free speech, weapon ownership, and other things that keep people free from being oppressed by the government.
I've known you for a long time and I know that you are not any of those things. I know that you are a very kind and caring person. So keep on being the awesome person you are.
5364639
.... I don't know if it's my medicine talking, but that second little paragaph.. It made me cry. Thank you, Lyra. Thank you so, so much for being who you are. You're a true friend, as always.
*Huggy-huggy*
5364649 You are very welcome. I am happy that we can be friends. Many hugs to you.