Jul
11th
2020
I'm freaking out badly · 12:10am Jul 11th, 2020
Um, I'm...legit kinda freaking out. I'm genuinely scared right now, I don't think I'm gonna be able to sleep now.
- Member Since 3rd Oct, 2013
- offline last seen Jun 7th, 2021
Ribe_FireRain
Mental instability at its finest and aspiring punk rock musician. PS: Buy a creator a coffee to keep him awake? https://ko-fi.com/firerain
Ribe_FireRain
Joined 3rd Oct, 2013 ·
Offline
More Blog Posts1257
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152 weeksMy Very Last Blog Post - Goodbye3 comments · 762 views
As of now, I think the time has come to finally abandon my Fimfiction page. I don't particularly want any involvement in the MLP community any longer and I hold no interest in continuing to be an active member. While my page remains open to everyone, I've logged out permanently and don't think I'll return to it or use it again. No more blogs, no more stories, no related content - it's over.
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152 weeksI'm never going to be the person that... (Facts of life)1 comments · 323 views
I'm never going to be the person who goes out drinking with friends in the pub at the end of the week,
I'm never going to be the person to enter a stable relationship,
I'm never going to be the person to cry for those who won't cry for me,
I'm never going to be the person who gives up over a little tough break, -
152 weeksEither stay or leave. Don't play me about.1 comments · 304 views
If you're staying, stay.
If you're playing around with me, kindly fuck off. I'm not in the mood.
Either follow or don't follow. It really is that simple. Make up your mind already.
Thank you.
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153 weeksNeed a distraction from your low mood? Here's an old photo of my guinea pig :31 comments · 275 views
Because I'm sad and because my guinea pig is an adorable fwubby enchanted squeaking potato, here's Oscar laying down and snuggling into his brother, Guinness's guinea bum. Don't ask why he did that, just look at how cute he's being. Requires all the ear rubs. Should have called him Sir Purrsalot. 🐹
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153 weeks''Applejack, are you gay?'' French Translation - if you're interested.0 comments · 213 views
Back when I introduced this story a few years ago, I was approached by a French Translator called Rainbowsoarin007 and they requested me to allow them to turn my story into a French translation for viewers in that part of the world and those who speak it.
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Why?
You still awake ?
Need to get something off your chest mate ?
Any particular reason?
what happened?
5305747
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5305562
5305507
I don't like talking about anything in this category in the slightest, nor do I want to involve personal matters, but deep down, I'm scared because of a number of reasons. It's not solely one thing. Events over the course of the last few months with me that are slowly (and noticeably worsening), living situation, job hunting with no luck, trying to grieve for someone I can never find a way to properly do so because I've never been to his grave after being forced to miss his funeral, thinking about my brother, there's literally a hundred things scaring me to the point nightmares have set in. And I can't do a single thing about them.
I'm currently waiting to find out what's wrong with me, but I have to wait until this ridiculous virus passes and it's safe again. Who knows how long that'll be? The situation out there right now is horrendous! On top of that, I'm pretty much broke and having no luck finding work, which I need more than anything if it means I can move out and get a place of my own, away from the people that do nothing me discourage me and tear me down. If I don't get a job with steady income, I'll have to move back home to those people. I can't do that; it's not in my tolerance perimeters or in my mental state. The only one in that house I'm bothered about right now is my brother, who's in the same shit place I was in within the past five or six years, so I'm scared what's going to happen with him. If and when I do end up going back, I'm hoping that me being there in the same room will at least do something to bring him out of it and he doesn't feel so alone anymore. I miss being around him so much more than I'll ever admit, and life's not the same without spending time together like we used to. It's the same as that twin thing where they get separation anxiety.
Long story short, I've had no good news at all in forever. I feel on my own, I don't feel welcome or wanted in my own house, it seems dad has pretty much let me go and barely talks to me anymore, in person or via text / phone call, the spiteful retch he's with never speaks to me and actively avoids me while simultaneously spreading lies and shit about me to close family members which makes them think I'm the enemy in this (at least I'm sure of it), neither of them listen nor care enough about me to help me when I really need them, and I know that if I don't get out of this rut soon that I'm going to be stuck like this forever. I seriously need to find out what's going on with me, details which I'm not open to sharing publicly because I honestly don't know yet. I can't tell anybody something that nobody knows, including myself. I only know that it's not going to be good news. I've lost sleep over it, I've cried over it, I've had anxiety episodes because of it, I've been and am sad over it, I'm worried about the outcome of it when the time comes to find out what it is. In short, put that all together and you've got a perfect combo for a reason to panic, and I'm doing just that.
I don't want to end up ranting, so I better stop before it turns into a novella. I'm having so much trouble keeping myself together. Half the ones I used to talk to aren't even around anymore, so it sucks! Losing connection is one of the things I'm afraid of. Every time I talk about this stuff, my heart literally hurts and throbs. For myself, it feels like there's nothing left in there.
I...I don't know what to do anymore. Or maybe I do and the hard part is doing it.
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- FireRain / Ribe 💛
5305925
Well by the looks of it you seem to be going through some shit.
Like you said not knowing the issue or the context means that none of us can really help but if you just wanna vent then I'm sure people wouldn't mind as long as it stays away from the people who you are venting about.
5305925
I can understand how that is frightening...I don't think I have much advice on tackling it, other than taking a breath and collecting ones self. We are here to talk, to give encouragement if needed